Scared of confrontation, is this bad/weird?

Genuine_Ghost · 06-29-2008, 07:47 PM

Hello everyone!

Basically, I am 20 years old, and will be going to college in October. A few years ago, when I was 15, I liked this girl I'd only met a few times in real-life, and had been talking to online. I ended up sending her some regrettably sexual emails, which is really wrong, but I was too young to know better. However, when I see her, or her friends, about town, they always shout "pervert" or "<> head" at me; they used to do it all the time at my old Further Education College. I get anxious over the prospect of seeing them.

Naturally, I am really worried about seeing these people about, as I would find it highly embarassing if I was with a friend or family member and someone shouted "pervert" at me. So, now I have two dilemmas:

1. I am going on a date soon, supposed to be in the small part of town where one of these people lives, and I am anxious and scared over the prospect that I may see them when I am on a date.

2. When I go to college. The worst-case scenario is that they will be at my college, or even, in the same dormitory halls as me.

Is this irrational? I don't know what to do/think about it.

Iwantittoend · 06-29-2008, 08:17 PM

Pretty much the only thing you can do is confront them and apologize for your actions. Otherwise, this will most likely continue on for a long time.

CalTrooper · 07-02-2008, 04:17 AM

Other than confronting them you will have to just deal with it. It was 5 years ago and I am sure if something does happen, your date and others will understand.

P.S. You were old enough to know better.

Genuine_Ghost · 07-06-2008, 05:39 PM

I was 15, and I made a slight mistake. If you think a horny 15 year-old, led on by girl, should have known better, then you are simply wrong.

SupaflyTNT · 07-13-2008, 10:21 PM

Dude, tell those people that was five years ago, you're sorry about it and you're a different person now. Time to get over it and on with their lives, jesus.

If that doesn't work ask them if they really have nothing better to do but perseverate on something that happened five years ago because that might be a sign of mental illness and they might need to get some help for themselves.

pinkelephant · 07-14-2008, 09:22 AM

send them a quick email saying you regret your old behaviour and would like to apologize. hope they will leave it in the past as well.

if they do continue and do it when you're on a date... hmm. i think you should just be like "uh, okay *what the hell expression on your face*" and just brush it off.

A World Away · 07-16-2008, 12:41 PM

The only way to really settle this is to chat to the people it concerns. Otherwise they will simply assume that you are the same person you were back then. I do not know what those emails contained back then, but it seems immature also on their part that at the age of twenty they are continuing to call you names. That aside, it is clear you need to sort this out in order to relax about your future. If they do happen to be at your college, you can't let this get in your way. Of your work or of increasing your social circle. Talking as soon as possible can make things so much more aimicable. If the behaviour continues to happen, and you are on a date, you could always pretend you don't know them, and that they are some girls that you simply don't know. On the other hand, you could be honest. This happened when you were fifteen. You are now twenty. Any decent girl would take time in themselves to try and understand.

06-29-2008, 07:47 PM	#1
Genuine_Ghost Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 65	Scared of confrontation, is this bad/weird? Hello everyone! Basically, I am 20 years old, and will be going to college in October. A few years ago, when I was 15, I liked this girl I'd only met a few times in real-life, and had been talking to online. I ended up sending her some regrettably sexual emails, which is really wrong, but I was too young to know better. However, when I see her, or her friends, about town, they always shout "pervert" or "<> head" at me; they used to do it all the time at my old Further Education College. I get anxious over the prospect of seeing them. Naturally, I am really worried about seeing these people about, as I would find it highly embarassing if I was with a friend or family member and someone shouted "pervert" at me. So, now I have two dilemmas: 1. I am going on a date soon, supposed to be in the small part of town where one of these people lives, and I am anxious and scared over the prospect that I may see them when I am on a date. 2. When I go to college. The worst-case scenario is that they will be at my college, or even, in the same dormitory halls as me. Is this irrational? I don't know what to do/think about it. Last edited by avman; 06-29-2008 at 07:51 PM. Reason: Language

07-16-2008, 12:41 PM	#7
A World Away Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England Gender: Female Posts: 160	The only way to really settle this is to chat to the people it concerns. Otherwise they will simply assume that you are the same person you were back then. I do not know what those emails contained back then, but it seems immature also on their part that at the age of twenty they are continuing to call you names. That aside, it is clear you need to sort this out in order to relax about your future. If they do happen to be at your college, you can't let this get in your way. Of your work or of increasing your social circle. Talking as soon as possible can make things so much more aimicable. If the behaviour continues to happen, and you are on a date, you could always pretend you don't know them, and that they are some girls that you simply don't know. On the other hand, you could be honest. This happened when you were fifteen. You are now twenty. Any decent girl would take time in themselves to try and understand. __________________ "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful." Bob Hope Please, come back to me. I know you're still there. I miss the person you used to be. I need you now more than I ever did.

06-29-2008, 08:17 PM	#2
Iwantittoend Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 857	Pretty much the only thing you can do is confront them and apologize for your actions. Otherwise, this will most likely continue on for a long time.

07-02-2008, 04:17 AM	#3
CalTrooper Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 12	Other than confronting them you will have to just deal with it. It was 5 years ago and I am sure if something does happen, your date and others will understand. P.S. You were old enough to know better.

07-06-2008, 05:39 PM	#4
Genuine_Ghost Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 65	I was 15, and I made a slight mistake. If you think a horny 15 year-old, led on by girl, should have known better, then you are simply wrong.

07-13-2008, 10:21 PM	#5
SupaflyTNT Offline Silver Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 439	Dude, tell those people that was five years ago, you're sorry about it and you're a different person now. Time to get over it and on with their lives, jesus. If that doesn't work ask them if they really have nothing better to do but perseverate on something that happened five years ago because that might be a sign of mental illness and they might need to get some help for themselves.

07-14-2008, 09:22 AM	#6
pinkelephant Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lala land Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,620	send them a quick email saying you regret your old behaviour and would like to apologize. hope they will leave it in the past as well. if they do continue and do it when you're on a date... hmm. i think you should just be like "uh, okay what the hell expression on your face" and just brush it off.