what can i do to help her?

meghanx11 · 06-29-2008, 11:22 AM

My younger sister is 16. She has always been very defiant and a pain to get along with. She doesn't have the best group of friends, but won't listen when anyone tries to talk to her. She bullies people and intimidates them into listening to her. Everyone walks on egg shells around her because one word could set her off.

Last night around 1 a.m my moms cell phone rang. I answered it, it was my sister. On the other the line was a girl shes been hanging out with, crying telling me i needed to wake up my mom and have her come pick up my sister and take her to the emergency room. They were out in the middle of town at 1 in the morning and my sister had started throwing up and told her friend she thought she was going to pass out. I got my mom, my mom picked her up and took her to the er. She was like till about three hours ago. They told her she has an infection, ulcer and was severely dehydrated. For some reason my mom and I feel like theres something missing. We really feel like drugs were involved. We can't bring it up to her because she will just flip out. Mind you she's gotten physical with my mom and called the police on her twice.

Her and i have gotten closer lately, but i know she won't tell me. What can i do to help her? I have heard ecstasy is a drug that can give you chills, make you vomit and also very dehydrated. What should i do?

Supa_gurl · 06-29-2008, 11:47 AM

16 is a real tough age. I have younger cousin (just turned 17) that is the same way. Ironically her name is Megan. Since she is not a sibling I try to stay out of it. But I have my opinions on how to straighten her out, but they are probably not legal. I say if she gets like this again or gets into her fits of rage, YOU call the police and they can make her chill out, possibly get her drug tested and from there maybe your family could host an intervention.

metrogirl · 06-29-2008, 12:15 PM

Well considering she was in the ER, can your mom call and see if they did a tox screen on her? I'm sure they had to have done some blood work, perhpas the doctors did the tox to rule out an overdose. She would have her answer there.

meghanx11 · 06-29-2008, 12:17 PM

yeah they said they cant give any info over the phone, not even what kind of tests they did. my mom has to go tomorrow and get all the info but she also went out and bought one of those home kit drug test things. i just wish she would listen to someone.

metrogirl · 06-29-2008, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meghanx11

yeah they said they cant give any info over the phone, not even what kind of tests they did. my mom has to go tomorrow and get all the info but she also went out and bought one of those home kit drug test things. i just wish she would listen to someone.

I have raised a 16 year old daughter myself, they rarely listen to anyone. It is an awful age. Their hormones are crazy, they constantly ride the emotional rollercoaster. We know nothing and they know everything. They think their 16 year old friends have all the answers to everything and would never let them down.

My daughter is 23 now. She realizes that I was not the evil mother, merely the person that didn't want her to throw her life away. She made a series of mistakes that she is still paying for today.

Hopefully with enough love and encouragement, your sister will come around.

Has anyone thought about going to counseling with her?

prizmpyxis · 06-29-2008, 12:25 PM

If drugs were involved, don't you think that the doctors in the ER would have picked up on it? I'm not completely ruling it out, but I just feel like they are extremely educated in that type of thing, and probably have to deal with a lot of drug addicts a good portion of the time. If she has an ulcer, that means that your sister is definately struggling with a lot of internal stress and pain. It sounds to me like she's acting out in her environment, instead of talking and trying to work through her own problems.
As far as what you yourself can do to help her, I think that this is way over your head. I think that you should express your concerns to your mother, and suggest that she get her into therapy immeadiately. All that you can do is be a good sister to her, listen to her when she wants to talk, and tell her that what she is doing is wrong. Make sure that you tell her that you care about her a lot and only want to help her. I hope that she is able to work through this. I think it's great that she has a family who is supportive and cares.

meghanx11 · 06-29-2008, 12:32 PM

yeah she's been in therapy before. she's had lots of problems with getting involved with the wrong people. when she was thirteen she was raped, considered consensual, and thats when she started to go to therapy. she sat there and stared at the floor, gave smart remarks and half the time just got up and walked out.

metrogirl · 06-29-2008, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meghanx11

yeah she's been in therapy before. she's had lots of problems with getting involved with the wrong people. when she was thirteen she was raped, considered consensual, and thats when she started to go to therapy. she sat there and stared at the floor, gave smart remarks and half the time just got up and walked out.

She's lashing out. She probably doesn't feel that she needs help, perhaps the original therapist wasn't the right one for her. There has to be somewhat of a connection between therapist and patient for it to work. Can your mom maybe find another one and see what happens from there?

06-29-2008, 11:22 AM	#1
meghanx11 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 131	what can i do to help her? My younger sister is 16. She has always been very defiant and a pain to get along with. She doesn't have the best group of friends, but won't listen when anyone tries to talk to her. She bullies people and intimidates them into listening to her. Everyone walks on egg shells around her because one word could set her off. Last night around 1 a.m my moms cell phone rang. I answered it, it was my sister. On the other the line was a girl shes been hanging out with, crying telling me i needed to wake up my mom and have her come pick up my sister and take her to the emergency room. They were out in the middle of town at 1 in the morning and my sister had started throwing up and told her friend she thought she was going to pass out. I got my mom, my mom picked her up and took her to the er. She was like till about three hours ago. They told her she has an infection, ulcer and was severely dehydrated. For some reason my mom and I feel like theres something missing. We really feel like drugs were involved. We can't bring it up to her because she will just flip out. Mind you she's gotten physical with my mom and called the police on her twice. Her and i have gotten closer lately, but i know she won't tell me. What can i do to help her? I have heard ecstasy is a drug that can give you chills, make you vomit and also very dehydrated. What should i do?

06-29-2008, 11:47 AM	#2
Supa_gurl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Wasting away in San An-tone Gender: Female Age: 33 Posts: 1,496	16 is a real tough age. I have younger cousin (just turned 17) that is the same way. Ironically her name is Megan. Since she is not a sibling I try to stay out of it. But I have my opinions on how to straighten her out, but they are probably not legal. I say if she gets like this again or gets into her fits of rage, YOU call the police and they can make her chill out, possibly get her drug tested and from there maybe your family could host an intervention. __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and enkindles the great.

06-29-2008, 12:15 PM	#3
metrogirl Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SGV Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 4,686	Well considering she was in the ER, can your mom call and see if they did a tox screen on her? I'm sure they had to have done some blood work, perhpas the doctors did the tox to rule out an overdose. She would have her answer there. __________________ Whether one believes in a religion or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. Dalai Lama Any hope I had for my Seahawks flew out the window when I heard Lofa Tatupu will be out for the rest of the season. (sighs) They call me Ghettro.......Well Scorpion Fury does anyway. LOL

06-29-2008, 12:17 PM	#4
meghanx11 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 131	yeah they said they cant give any info over the phone, not even what kind of tests they did. my mom has to go tomorrow and get all the info but she also went out and bought one of those home kit drug test things. i just wish she would listen to someone.

06-29-2008, 12:25 PM	#6
prizmpyxis Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 215	If drugs were involved, don't you think that the doctors in the ER would have picked up on it? I'm not completely ruling it out, but I just feel like they are extremely educated in that type of thing, and probably have to deal with a lot of drug addicts a good portion of the time. If she has an ulcer, that means that your sister is definately struggling with a lot of internal stress and pain. It sounds to me like she's acting out in her environment, instead of talking and trying to work through her own problems. As far as what you yourself can do to help her, I think that this is way over your head. I think that you should express your concerns to your mother, and suggest that she get her into therapy immeadiately. All that you can do is be a good sister to her, listen to her when she wants to talk, and tell her that what she is doing is wrong. Make sure that you tell her that you care about her a lot and only want to help her. I hope that she is able to work through this. I think it's great that she has a family who is supportive and cares.

06-29-2008, 12:32 PM	#7
meghanx11 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 131	yeah she's been in therapy before. she's had lots of problems with getting involved with the wrong people. when she was thirteen she was raped, considered consensual, and thats when she started to go to therapy. she sat there and stared at the floor, gave smart remarks and half the time just got up and walked out.