my weight loss journey

d24 · 06-23-2008, 07:00 AM

inspired by annie and a realisation over the weekend I've decided I really should lose some weight. I'll start off with the backstory...

I've always been a big guy but for the most part it's been 90% muscle. I'm 6"4 tall and very broad shouldered, I'm blading but am pretty hairy all over and I tend to have 5-o'clock stubble 20minutes after shaving. I've always been fit, and relatively intimidating (not through choice or mallice) but I'd like to think (and have been told) that I'm a good guy. Since I stopped playing American football in Summer 2005 (I try to kid myself I played in 2006, but in all honesty my heart wasn't in it and I quit a few weeks into the season) I've been steadily losing muscle tone and gaining fat. Lots of it.

I lied to myself for a long time that it was happening. I lost the definition in my arms first and gained some weight around my middle. I lost my pecks which were replaced by moobs and gained a double chin. I lied to my friends that I was going to the gym still but I know they knew I was lieing. In reality I had no motivation anymore and, although still paying for it, I probably only went once a month as opposed to my 4 times a week. My weights in my room gathered dust as I just couldn't be bothered anymore. In a sense, it was excercise-depression because I really had no need to maintain my fitness and wasn't bothered.

The problem was, I kept eating the high carb, high energy stuff that I did when I was in training. I stopped wearing some shirts when they got tight, I threw others out, and I bought a bunch of XL things that were at the time, baggy and airy which was my style. Now, 2 years later, my wardrobe is the same and there's probably 30% of things in there that won't fit me anymore, most are skin-tight and I kid myself that I don't want to wear them when in reality they haven't fit in years. I refuse to buy new clothes because I'm disgusted with myself, but lie to others saying I have a full wardrobe and don't need anything new. Any new clothes I've bought over the past 6 months have been XXL.

It really got me down yesterday when I was watching a TV advert for something. Basically a guy was running through a park, really athletically fit, and he was happy and smiling. I was sitting on the couch with a packet of chocolate in my hand and tortilla chips and salsa to the side. I felt disgusted with myself. 2 years ago that was me, and now I'm an absolute fat lazy slob.

I went to the bathroom and weighed myself for the first time in about 2 years. I was 274lbs or 124kg. I used to be 224lbs/102kg when I was in training - and remember muscle weighs twice as much as fat. I should be around 100kg/220lbs for my height.

I was absolutely ashamed of myself. I looked in a mirror and whereas I usually shrugged it off, I noticed how big my stomach was, almost beer-belly like, and how small my arms looked. My double chin when I moved my neck, my flabby chest, my fat thighs. I've not looked at myself in the mirror in such detail for a long time. I remembered that yesterday when having sex with my gf I was sweating profusely and out of breath within 10minutes. I remembered that I had been going to work without a tie for 3 months on the pretense that it's warmer/summer and I don't need to wear a tie, when in reality my top button won't do up anymore. I'm actually fat. I'd been in denial for a while and not noticed because nobody had told me. But I know now. Or at least I can admit to it.

I've resolved to change. But not yet. I know this is going to be incredibly hard work as I start getting on the path to success, but I want to do it right.

So starting next Monday, one week from now, I'm going to be good. I need to clear the house of all the crap I've bought and I refuse to throw good food away. It'll also serve as a 'last week of freedom' kind of thing. I'm not going to worry about what I currently eat in preparation for the next year's hell as I teach myself a lesson and get back to full fitness.

So... this is my open journal. I'll let you know what I'm up to and I'll keep you informed. Fingers crossed I can lose this weight and get my body back into shape before next Summer, because again, I didn't book a beach holiday this year because I'm actually ashamed to take my shirt off.

Wish me luck. This was a huge realisation for me to admit to myself, and others, that I need to take better care of myself.

d24 · 07-01-2008, 04:53 AM

okay so i've started off slow.
i've managed to remove most of the crap from the house and have weighed myself one final time before I get started.

I made myself a healthy lunch but in the end I needed to buy a Twix to keep myself awake in the afternoon. In the evening I made a half portion of nuggets and mash (whereas I probably would have just got chips).
Next day (today) I slept in an extra 20mins and forced myself to miss my bus so that i'd cycle in. Which I have done. And I feel better for it.
Only problem is cycling back means cycling uphill!

Current
274lbs
Aim
210lbs
To Go
64lbs

d24 · 07-07-2008, 06:39 AM

so last week was harder than i thought and i fell off the wagon a couple of times.
once was unplanned, my girlfriend got promoted at work and i offered to take her anywhere she wanted... lobster dinner, an expensive place, a steak house, anywhere she wanted - I was hoping she'd pick somewhere where I could at least chose a healthy option.
Where does she want to go?
Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!!!
Saturday also we went to see a movie but had McDonalds before. I just had a burger, but then she ordered more and I ended up with 2 portions of fries also *sighs* I am trying though, honest

I have kicked up my exercise though and have stopped feeding the vending machine here at work. Even cycled to work 4 days last week... shame I can't do it this week, it's forecast to rain every day this week. July?! Summer?! yeah right!! I plan to pick up my weights but to be comletely honest, I realy can't be bothered. I know I should force myself, but it's so hard getting the motivation

Weighed myself and was pleased but had to remind myself because I'm so overweight it will drop off faster at the moment...

Current
267lbs (7lbs this week!)
Aim
210lbs
To Go
57lbs

d24 · 07-08-2008, 03:28 AM

bet you're glad you didn't have 7lbs to lose in a week haha

(thanks for the support!)

Yesterday all I had to eat was a bowl of cereal, 2 plums, a nectarine, some instant mashed potato and 1/3 of a pastabake for dinner..... i've never been so hungry in my entire life but it felt great.

I fell asleep very happy when my gf told me my stomach looks flatter, it really made my day and makes me feel like it's going to be worth it!

stranded247 · 07-08-2008, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuxthecutey

bet you're glad you didn't have 7lbs to lose in a week haha

(thanks for the support!)

Yesterday all I had to eat was a bowl of cereal, 2 plums, a nectarine, some instant mashed potato and 1/3 of a pastabake for dinner..... i've never been so hungry in my entire life but it felt great.

I fell asleep very happy when my gf told me my stomach looks flatter, it really made my day and makes me feel like it's going to be worth it!

Wow thats amasing that you've lost so much. Its great your keeping your portions so small but if you wanted to loose even more weight I would reccoment not eating carbohydrates for each meal. Have say one carbohydrate meal and then for lunch and dinner try to eat a lot of vegetables and protein-you are guaranteed to burn way more fat that way.

d24 · 07-10-2008, 05:03 AM

thanks for the support...

so today i almost did something stupid but thankfully the powers that be stopped me. I had a small breakfast in the morning, just a small portion of cereal, and made my way to work (but today i was going to a different site for a meeting). i had a meeting around the back of the canteen at 10:30am and I had 1h30 to burn. As I was at a different location I had no facilities to keep busy i actually caught myself thinking "im bored, i'll go to the canteen and wait in there till the meeting starts, and maybe have somethign to eat"... on the walk there I started convincing myself i was hungry - even though on reflection i was not, and am not - and that i was going to go inside, order a sausage roll or something, and sit and wait (and eat).

Thankfully when I got there the canteen was taking deliveries and was shut. I felt really really bad that i gave into my urges to eat (even though i didnt, it's liek i knew i would have) and am disappointed but more determined not to let it happen next time. *sighs*

I'll weigh myself again on the weekend...

d24 · 07-18-2008, 03:19 AM

I haven't weighed myself this week but I'm currently wearing a red shirt that I haven't been able to fit into for a while and I feel great, albeit a bit drained (dieting makes me sleepy!)

AnotherBrokenDoll · 07-19-2008, 10:20 PM

Its great that you are losing weight so fast! Remember that you don't have to be hungry, you can eat as much veges as you like. Carrots and celary are quick and healthy. And im pretty sure they are both negative calorie veges.

Good luck on this weeks result.

d24 · 07-29-2008, 04:13 AM

thanks for that, i have taken to buying carrots and celery which are actually quite nice. but i've realised buying healthy is almost twice as expensive as buying the regular junk... maybe this is why so many people are overweight these days? They literally cannot afford to eat the healthier alternatives.

I did well over the past week but succumbed to a chinese takeout on sunday. i regret it now, but at the time it was hard to say no.... still, i think i'm doing well. i don't feel any smaller, but i'm hoping I've lost something. I'll weigh myself tonight.

I've also decided to join a gym... when we move house in about 2 weeks I'll have to drive to work instead of walking/cycling... so my only source of exercise will come to an abrupt halt. Luckily there's a gym opposite where I work, so i might take out a 6 month membership... will decide soon

06-23-2008, 07:00 AM	#1
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	my weight loss journey inspired by annie and a realisation over the weekend I've decided I really should lose some weight. I'll start off with the backstory... I've always been a big guy but for the most part it's been 90% muscle. I'm 6"4 tall and very broad shouldered, I'm blading but am pretty hairy all over and I tend to have 5-o'clock stubble 20minutes after shaving. I've always been fit, and relatively intimidating (not through choice or mallice) but I'd like to think (and have been told) that I'm a good guy. Since I stopped playing American football in Summer 2005 (I try to kid myself I played in 2006, but in all honesty my heart wasn't in it and I quit a few weeks into the season) I've been steadily losing muscle tone and gaining fat. Lots of it. I lied to myself for a long time that it was happening. I lost the definition in my arms first and gained some weight around my middle. I lost my pecks which were replaced by moobs and gained a double chin. I lied to my friends that I was going to the gym still but I know they knew I was lieing. In reality I had no motivation anymore and, although still paying for it, I probably only went once a month as opposed to my 4 times a week. My weights in my room gathered dust as I just couldn't be bothered anymore. In a sense, it was excercise-depression because I really had no need to maintain my fitness and wasn't bothered. The problem was, I kept eating the high carb, high energy stuff that I did when I was in training. I stopped wearing some shirts when they got tight, I threw others out, and I bought a bunch of XL things that were at the time, baggy and airy which was my style. Now, 2 years later, my wardrobe is the same and there's probably 30% of things in there that won't fit me anymore, most are skin-tight and I kid myself that I don't want to wear them when in reality they haven't fit in years. I refuse to buy new clothes because I'm disgusted with myself, but lie to others saying I have a full wardrobe and don't need anything new. Any new clothes I've bought over the past 6 months have been XXL. It really got me down yesterday when I was watching a TV advert for something. Basically a guy was running through a park, really athletically fit, and he was happy and smiling. I was sitting on the couch with a packet of chocolate in my hand and tortilla chips and salsa to the side. I felt disgusted with myself. 2 years ago that was me, and now I'm an absolute fat lazy slob. I went to the bathroom and weighed myself for the first time in about 2 years. I was 274lbs or 124kg. I used to be 224lbs/102kg when I was in training - and remember muscle weighs twice as much as fat. I should be around 100kg/220lbs for my height. I was absolutely ashamed of myself. I looked in a mirror and whereas I usually shrugged it off, I noticed how big my stomach was, almost beer-belly like, and how small my arms looked. My double chin when I moved my neck, my flabby chest, my fat thighs. I've not looked at myself in the mirror in such detail for a long time. I remembered that yesterday when having sex with my gf I was sweating profusely and out of breath within 10minutes. I remembered that I had been going to work without a tie for 3 months on the pretense that it's warmer/summer and I don't need to wear a tie, when in reality my top button won't do up anymore. I'm actually fat. I'd been in denial for a while and not noticed because nobody had told me. But I know now. Or at least I can admit to it. I've resolved to change. But not yet. I know this is going to be incredibly hard work as I start getting on the path to success, but I want to do it right. So starting next Monday, one week from now, I'm going to be good. I need to clear the house of all the crap I've bought and I refuse to throw good food away. It'll also serve as a 'last week of freedom' kind of thing. I'm not going to worry about what I currently eat in preparation for the next year's hell as I teach myself a lesson and get back to full fitness. So... this is my open journal. I'll let you know what I'm up to and I'll keep you informed. Fingers crossed I can lose this weight and get my body back into shape before next Summer, because again, I didn't book a beach holiday this year because I'm actually ashamed to take my shirt off. Wish me luck. This was a huge realisation for me to admit to myself, and others, that I need to take better care of myself. __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-01-2008, 04:53 AM	#2
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	okay so i've started off slow. i've managed to remove most of the crap from the house and have weighed myself one final time before I get started. I made myself a healthy lunch but in the end I needed to buy a Twix to keep myself awake in the afternoon. In the evening I made a half portion of nuggets and mash (whereas I probably would have just got chips). Next day (today) I slept in an extra 20mins and forced myself to miss my bus so that i'd cycle in. Which I have done. And I feel better for it. Only problem is cycling back means cycling uphill! Current 274lbs Aim 210lbs To Go 64lbs __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-07-2008, 06:39 AM	#3
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	so last week was harder than i thought and i fell off the wagon a couple of times. once was unplanned, my girlfriend got promoted at work and i offered to take her anywhere she wanted... lobster dinner, an expensive place, a steak house, anywhere she wanted - I was hoping she'd pick somewhere where I could at least chose a healthy option. Where does she want to go? Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!!! Saturday also we went to see a movie but had McDonalds before. I just had a burger, but then she ordered more and I ended up with 2 portions of fries also sighs I am trying though, honest I have kicked up my exercise though and have stopped feeding the vending machine here at work. Even cycled to work 4 days last week... shame I can't do it this week, it's forecast to rain every day this week. July?! Summer?! yeah right!! I plan to pick up my weights but to be comletely honest, I realy can't be bothered. I know I should force myself, but it's so hard getting the motivation Weighed myself and was pleased but had to remind myself because I'm so overweight it will drop off faster at the moment... Current 267lbs (7lbs this week!) Aim 210lbs To Go 57lbs __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-08-2008, 03:28 AM	#4
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	bet you're glad you didn't have 7lbs to lose in a week haha (thanks for the support!) Yesterday all I had to eat was a bowl of cereal, 2 plums, a nectarine, some instant mashed potato and 1/3 of a pastabake for dinner..... i've never been so hungry in my entire life but it felt great. I fell asleep very happy when my gf told me my stomach looks flatter, it really made my day and makes me feel like it's going to be worth it! __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-10-2008, 05:03 AM	#6
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	thanks for the support... so today i almost did something stupid but thankfully the powers that be stopped me. I had a small breakfast in the morning, just a small portion of cereal, and made my way to work (but today i was going to a different site for a meeting). i had a meeting around the back of the canteen at 10:30am and I had 1h30 to burn. As I was at a different location I had no facilities to keep busy i actually caught myself thinking "im bored, i'll go to the canteen and wait in there till the meeting starts, and maybe have somethign to eat"... on the walk there I started convincing myself i was hungry - even though on reflection i was not, and am not - and that i was going to go inside, order a sausage roll or something, and sit and wait (and eat). Thankfully when I got there the canteen was taking deliveries and was shut. I felt really really bad that i gave into my urges to eat (even though i didnt, it's liek i knew i would have) and am disappointed but more determined not to let it happen next time. sighs I'll weigh myself again on the weekend... __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-18-2008, 03:19 AM	#7
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	I haven't weighed myself this week but I'm currently wearing a red shirt that I haven't been able to fit into for a while and I feel great, albeit a bit drained (dieting makes me sleepy!) __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"

07-19-2008, 10:20 PM	#8
AnotherBrokenDoll Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: In a world you will never know of. Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 1,735	Its great that you are losing weight so fast! Remember that you don't have to be hungry, you can eat as much veges as you like. Carrots and celary are quick and healthy. And im pretty sure they are both negative calorie veges. Good luck on this weeks result. __________________ There are days when i'm ok, And for a moment, For a moment I find hope. But there are days when i'm not ok, And i need your help, So i'm letting go. You should know, You're not on your own, These secrets are walls that keep us alone, I don't know when but i know now, Together we'll make it through somehow, Together we'll make it through somehow.

07-29-2008, 04:13 AM	#9
d24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,064	thanks for that, i have taken to buying carrots and celery which are actually quite nice. but i've realised buying healthy is almost twice as expensive as buying the regular junk... maybe this is why so many people are overweight these days? They literally cannot afford to eat the healthier alternatives. I did well over the past week but succumbed to a chinese takeout on sunday. i regret it now, but at the time it was hard to say no.... still, i think i'm doing well. i don't feel any smaller, but i'm hoping I've lost something. I'll weigh myself tonight. I've also decided to join a gym... when we move house in about 2 weeks I'll have to drive to work instead of walking/cycling... so my only source of exercise will come to an abrupt halt. Luckily there's a gym opposite where I work, so i might take out a 6 month membership... will decide soon __________________ "You act as though you haven't seen trees bow to an unborn child before?"