Disabled adults......

[Gracelove]

Not adults with physical disabilities, but adults with mental disabilities from childhood.

What happens to them?

I've heard that many of them are in jail, because they were labeled as troubled kids, etc.

I had a friend/acquaintance with such a disability.

And it was sooo hard for me to remain her acquaintance because I was constantly frustrated by her disability.

I know she has difficulty interacting with others in a work environments, etc...........

This got me thinking, what happens to those children with mental disabilities or learning disabilities, when they grow up?

Who teaches them how to have and sustain friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships at work?

How is the gap bridged? When it comes to communication and comprehension?

And I know it's worse for those adults who don't look like they have any disability. Because people don't understand their behavior and write them off a rude, crazy, a pain in the behind.

But even when you know of the disability it's still very frustrating dealing with it. And too much work, most of the time. And most adults don't want to take on that responsibility because everyone has their own issues to deal with. Aside from that, many people don't know how.

So the parents care for their disability as much a they can, they shelter and cater to their children......but what about the rest of the world?

What happens to all of those children?

Do they led happy productive lives?

Are there support groups to help them? Where do they find acceptance and experience comradery?

[Jayar]

I think it really depends on the disability. I don't think general statements can be made. What kind of disabilities are you thinking of when you ask these questions?

[nuttybuddy]

i donno if u're just being philosophical or if someone u know has a disability and u r curious about that person. in any case, there are social workers who help with connecting the families and patients to the appropriate care. as far as interpersonal relationships and the patients personal growth, it's highly dependent on the individual patient's ability/disability.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Well. I went to do community service at a school for mentally disabled.

Depending on their mental disability and if they aren't physically disabled, they can go to such a school if they have the opportunity (where i live anyway) and they are taught everyday to do small stuff. but such people need to be re trained everyday. if they stop training them they forget easy and lose the hang of it.

only some of them who pass certain tests can maybe even go onto live in their own apartment and take care of themself. otherwise these adults need someone to take care of them, or else there may be a shelter. there is one where i live but.. it has limited place.

[musashi]

My ex ex was bipolar and on disability because of it. She had been hospitalized in psychiatric institutions often before I had met her because of it. When I met her and she told me she was bipolar I did not think much about it because most everybody claims to be bipolar now a days. Plus, she was gorgeous and acted normal for the most part. After we had broken up, she got involuntarily commited because she went off her meds and went haywire. I visited her in the hospital and, I can honestly say, it was one of the most depressing things I have ever done. She was just like those crazy people you see on tv. The whole ward was crazy. People talking to walls, yelling at demons, crawling on the floor, etc. but out of all of them, my ex ex was the craziest. I could not believe it was the same person.

She receives SSI monthly because of her disabiltiy and she lives with her mother. She is totally 100% dependent on her mother for everything. When her mother dies I predict that she will spend the rest of her life in a mental ward. I never experienced anything like that before. She is one messed up girl and I feel so bad for her but at the same time she does nothing all day but ride around, shop, and sleep with guys. She just turned 30, btw.

[Gracelove]

Hey There Guys!!!

Thank you so very much for your replies.

I actually interacted with an adult with a mental disability, actual I just read it's referred to as a "behavioral" disorder. She's really a very sweet person. She isn't someone I would choose to hang out with, but she was very aggressive, and insisted we hang out.

We started hanging out, and although I knew we wouldn't be best friends, I didn't mind being hang-out buddies.
It was actually kind of fun.
A lot of friviolous conversation, nothing that required much thought or concern.

I knew about her disability early on (ADHD), because she told me about it, but I wasn't educated on it. I actually just looked up information on it recently.
But from personal experience, hearing the term "ADHD" sends alarm bells off in my head.
We had some children with ADHD at my school, when I was younger, and I remember them being very bad children.

However I hadn't interacted with any ADHD adults socially.

She has trouble with comprehension. She's 28 years old, but thinks like a 14 or 15 year old. It seems she can't predict the consequences of her actions, among other things.

And I just don't want to be bothered with her anymore.
It's sad, because I know things aren't her fault, they are symptoms of her disability, and probably some other things. However, it's really frustrating dealing with a person like this (she takes no medication for it, and receives no treatment).

And so, I got to thinking. If I don't want to be bothered with her because of her due to her disability.....how do other people handle interacting with similar adults?

I know she doesn't have any close friends. She has difficulty working with others (I've seen her in action, and the response others have towards her). She always says, "I rub people the wrong way". And she pretty much has a "me against the world" mentality.

So what happens to her? How does she get the help she needs to get along with others and live a happy life?

How does someone get her to understand that nothing is wrong with who she is as a person, it's just that her behavior is off.

She's very pretty, so she mets a lot of men. She uses sex to keep them around, but it never lasts for long.

I wish I could still be her friend, but I can't because she frustrates me so much. And I usually have a very high tolerance level when it comes to difficult people.

So, I just wanted to know what happens to people like her. It isn't fair to be ostracized for life.

She was ostracized a lot as a child. Children didn't want to be around her, because she was different, and adults couldn't stand her and called her "bad".

And at 28 years old she's still having difficulty.

She recognizes the reactions of others, but it's like she doesn't know why they react to her the way they do.

She recognizes that people don't want to be around her, but she doesn't see why.

And it's not something that can be explained to her, because she doesn't get it.

I was wondering if there are experts out there with solutions. A group that provides support for adults that suffer from it.
So they won't feel so alone and isolated. Who wants to be alone?

She refers to herself as crazy. She says everyone knows she's crazy. But she's not crazy she has a disability.
And she's a person with feelings. And she has been hurt a lot, but I don't think she can be changed.

She is able to take care of herself however. She is great with things that require creativity, if she's allowed to work alone for the most part.

I understand her frustration, but I also understand the frustration of those who have to interact with her.

I know there are people out there with her disability who control it very well.

But she said she had a lot of therapy as a child, and she'll never do it again.

It's like some days she's okay, but other times she's off the hook. And she still throws tantrums.

Are there any techniques that can help a person deal with someone suffering from adult ADHD?

Opps, I forgot, she says she smokes weed. Maybe that explains why she is more calm on some days.

[nuttybuddy]

maybe u could help her get into local support group:

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[sarey]

I have been diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm not a adult, I'm a teenager.

However, a close friend of mine (more like a father to me) has ADHD, he's 25 years old and he has a job, he's going to enter into a computer course, and he's perfectly fine. No criminal record or anything. He may have ADHD, but it's just something to help people understand him better. They are just like 'normal' adults, but they're more special. They need more help than others. No problem with that at all.

People with ADHD should get help from a professional, maybe medication is needed, or maybe therapy, or anger management classes, etc.

She should go to her doctor and ask about it.

But don't be put off because she has a little label saying she has ADHD, she is still a human being, as is my close friend, as am I.

[Stars_n_Guitars]

I'm not sure what kind of mental disabilities you are talking about. I worked at a facility for adults with such problems. The focus was to get these people ready for the real world. We would do things to help them understand life situations. I LOVED THEM ALL!
I learned so much from them. I loved to teach them something, like counting change, and having them learn it really made me feel a sense of accomplishment! They had the biggest hearts! Some had kids. Most were as if they never grew up. They were child-like in many ways. Some would have significant others!!
In my opinion, people with Down's Syndrome are the sadest! They are very emotional, and most are aware of others feelings and more aware of life. I observed that they love to be the center of attention! And were very good at making others laugh!!!
We had a range of disabled adults. I encourage you to try to find a place like this and volunteer. You will learn so much!!!
OH and if I were to see them before I knew of their disabilities, I would never guess that most of them had anything wrong at all.

[Gracelove]

Hey There Guys!!!

Thanks so much for your opinions!!! They are awesome!

I had to stop being her friend because she was bringing a lot of stress and confusion, and I really have to monitor my stress levels.

After posting this last night, I started looking up all of this information on adult ADHD. The information was helpful.
However I couldn't find anything telling friends, family members, or co-workers how to best deal with the behavior, or ways of communicating information.

I tried to encourage her to go to therapy, but she was totally opposed to that.

I know she doesn't take any medicine for it at all, and you're right, I think it would help. She tries to self-medicate with weed, but I couldn't tell when she had or hadn't used it, unless she told me.

She's very prideful, and she's in a place where she believes she's perfect and everyone else is flawed.

Now I'm sure she doesn't truly believe that in her heart, but that's how she acts.

And it's so hard to communicate with her because she won't listen to what you're saying.

She likes to put people down a lot. I know it's due to her own insecurities, but it's hard to deal with after a while.

Anywho, I wish I could have helped her, but I didn't quite know how. I tried my best, but it just didn't work.

I really wish she'd get professional help for her ADHD, learn how to manage it.

I recently found out that her mother has it. But you can't tell with her mother. Her mother is just like any normal person.
Her comprehension is good and everything, it's amazing. And she listens well.

I had no idea her mother had it until someone else told me.

Her mother tries to help her a lot, but my old friend, really rebelled against her mother.

So now I see her mother was just trying to make things easier on her, because her mother experienced and mastered the symptoms of the disorder. But my old friend, she just refuses to take input from anyone.

That's something I've noticed above all else.

I've seen many people trying to give her input on things, and she just shuts them down.

When I tried to make her see their side of things, she said she didn't care about them.

It all seems to hopeless.

Anywho, I'd like to think that I'd be more prepared if I encountered someone else like her, but I don't think I would.
She isn't receiving any treatment for it, so I guess it's a lost cause.