People tell me I am fat

[WildlySofisticated]

Ok, I am not fat.

I am 5 feet tall 100 lbs. When you are this small every extra 1/2 inch of skin shows. This person that lives in my building tells me that I look like I have gained weight. I have been anorexic as a teen, and I almost was again 2 years ago when I tried the raw food diet for a few months. I am still suffering the effects.

Anyway I feel horrible about myself on most days, that is really not what I need to hear. I wish I had come up with some rude comeback.
I don't want to fall into starving myself again, but I think well meaning people like this just might drive me down this road.

[kuiks8]

Here's the thing: you can't let what other people say or do dictate how you feel about yourself. You need to learn to be strong enough in who you are as a person to deflect other peoples comments. I am still learning this lesson myself. It is one of the hardest ones to learn but you will be so much better off if/when you learn it!
don't let someone else's stupid insensitivity send you down a path that is so incredibly harmful to yourself.
You obviously have amazing strength if you made it out once, don't tempt fate!!!

Know in yourself that you are beautiful and than nothing anyone else says can affect you.

[JadedStar]

Sounds like ONE guy has said this yet your title reads "people" tell you that you are fat. One guy's opinion is but one of many. Don't worry about what he thinks.

[I'mThatGirl]

WS - I can relate and understand....

When you have bulimic or anorexic or just a compulsion about your weight, any little thing someone says can really hurt and push you back into it.

Find a way to be happy with where you are at with your weight. The people that make those comments are probably just used to you being pencil thin scrawny. I doubt they mean that you look heavy or fat.

I used to be terrible about eating etc. I finally decided I didn't want to be so thin especially at almost 30. I started eating right and I'm ooohhhhh about 12 pounds heavier than I am comfortable with. But I keep telling myself that it looks better. I definitely look healthier and I'm getting used to it. It used to bug me when people would say "you look so much healthier at this weight..." I liked the "you are so thin - you are too thin!"

I hope that you can stay on top of this and remember what is best for you!

[JadedStar]

When you have bulimic or anorexic or just a compulsion about your weight, any little thing someone says can really hurt and push you back into it.

This is true, but it is also why it is even more important to get therapy and work on self esteem building because no one else can be responsible for building someone up. There are crass and rude people in the world and you have to learn how to not fall apart when you encounter one.

[Emernate]

Tell him you decided to gain a pound for each IQ point he drops.

[greywolf]

It's just one guy. He's probably a big loser too. Don't worry about him. My family is from a culture where being told you are fat used to be a compliment. Now it's an insult but they still say it to people. For example, there was this one guy that I had only met twice. On the second time meeting him, he told me I had gained weight.
Culture or not... I don't like it. So I them in a kind but rude way (hahahahaha) that this is the US and they can't say things like that here.
Sorry, I guess I made this about me. My point is, people can just be dumb. Don't worry about it.

[I'mThatGirl]

Originally Posted by JadedStar

This is true, but it is also why it is even more important to get therapy and work on self esteem building because no one else can be responsible for building someone up. There are crass and rude people in the world and you have to learn how to not fall apart when you encounter one.

Agree 100%

[WildlySofisticated]

You are all so kind and right too.

I spoke about it to my boyfriend, and sure enough he told me that I look amazing the way I am and he will not be happy to see me lose a pound.
I do honestly like the way I look. I look fit, not skin and bones.

Yet for some reason this mans comment still bugs me.
I really should have told him off. What right does he have to comment on my body.

[GypsyMuse]

Originally Posted by WildlySofisticated

Ok, I am not fat.

I am 5 feet tall 100 lbs. When you are this small every extra 1/2 inch of skin shows. This person that lives in my building tells me that I look like I have gained weight.

I think you are probably misinterpreting the comment.

Seriously.

The person didn't say you were fat he or she said you looked like you had gained weight.

I'm very fine-boned and slender, so every ounce shows on me too and if I gain even a tiny bit, my friends tell me I look like I've gained weight. They are NOT telling me I look fat. What they are actually saying is they think I look a little better with a little extra meat on me. A lot of people don't like the way very thin people look. It's just a personal preference.

Be careful not to read too much into people's comments.

Some people say that simply as an ice-breaker.

Some people even say that as a compliment, meaning, "I think you look a better when you are not too thin."

Most of them DO NOT mean, "I think you're looking fat." That's your intepretation. I suspect you're projecting that meaning into it because at 100 pounds you're obviously not fat.