Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    125

    Boyfriend doesn't think I'm sexy

    Ok, so I have this problem. My boyfriend tells me that he finds me attractive but he'll never say he thinks I'm sexy. He'll make comments like "you're very beautiful" or "you're the most beautiful girl in the world to me", which is very sweet and makes me feel good. BUT, when I asked him if he thought I was sexy, he stayed silent. Now my boyfriend is very honest in that he'll never tell you something he doesn't think is true. That's one thing I really appreciate about him. So I know if he didn't answer, it probably means no. He sometimes makes comments about other (thin) women like "wow" or something like that, but never says my body is attractive to him. Now I'm an overweight girl and am working on loosing some weight (diet and exercise) but I'm still have about 25 lb left to lose before I reach my goal weight. I know he isn't really attracted to overweight girls, but he loves me and doesn't pay attention to that because he says he loves the entire me, not just parts. I don't know how I can make myself more attractive to him? He told me I should change my hairstyle and my clothing. He didn't say anything about my body because he knows it will upset me as in the past he's made some comments and that caused a fight because I didn't think it was appropriate of him to say that to me. Please, any suggestions?
    Last edited by Angel_325; 06-05-2008 at 12:58 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Desert
    Posts
    33,119
    Gender
    Male
    you have a good guy then. keep at your fitness and make him say yes soon. for now, if you don't like the answer, or non-answer, don't ask.
    Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too.
    Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69
    If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69
    The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69
    'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch
    you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69


    NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

  3. #3
    Member honeybee52's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    87
    Why are you making problems when there aren't any? This is your issue, not his. Be grateful that he gives you sincere compliments and that he loves you so much. Don't go looking for trouble because, if you do, you just might find it.

  4. #4
    Silver Member MD Geist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Socal
    Age
    28
    Posts
    2,608
    Gender
    Male
    If I was in his shoes id say something like that when you know the "time is right" when perhaps things become more inmate rather than it being so random. Atleast he's says your beautiful not many guys I know say that to their g/f's.
    Formerly known as Madoc

  5. #5
    Gold Member knightingale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    29
    Posts
    792
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Angel_325 View Post
    Ok, so I have this problem. My boyfriend tells me that he finds me attractive but he'll never say he thinks I'm sexy. He'll make comments like "you're very beautiful" or "you're the most beautiful girl in the world to me", which is very sweet and makes me feel good.
    I don't see what the the problem is . . .

    Being told you're "sexy" is nice, sure, but it's not like he completely disregards you or acts repulsed by you. He loves everything about you and thinks you're beautiful. Typically, men are more quick to tell a girl they are "hot" or "sexy" than they are to say "beautiful" , "gorgeous" or "pretty". You should be happy that he uses these words on you! He reserves them just for you, because he loves you. However . . .

    You shouldn't be changing yourself for him, anyway. Anything you do should be for yourself. Keep losing weight and getting fit if that's what YOU want. If you like the haircut he suggested, then go for it. If you don't, then don't. I wanted short hair this summer, wound up chopping off about five inches, and it turns out that my boyfriend loves short hair. But it was something I wanted first. Now I'm thinking of growing it back out, and he doesn't care either way as long as I'm happy with it. He'll still think I'm beautiful. That's how it should be with your boyfriend.

    There's nothing you can do to MAKE him give you compliments. The root of the problem is you aren't happy with yourself. Do whatever you have to do to be happy with who you are, and if he happens to like the results then so be it.

  6. #6
    Gold Member lillie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,489
    Gender
    Female
    What kind of clothes do you wear if you dont mind me asking? Some women,men included get a little too laid back about their attire when in a long term relationship. Iv lost count of the men who have told me they wished their g/f wore higher heels,stockings,skirts etc,well they are men!!lol

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    125
    Quote Originally Posted by lillie View Post
    What kind of clothes do you wear if you dont mind me asking? Some women,men included get a little too laid back about their attire when in a long term relationship. Iv lost count of the men who have told me they wished their g/f wore higher heels,stockings,skirts etc,well they are men!!lol
    I don't wear really sexy clothing because I'm still trying to lose weight. My attrie is usually a nice sexy top and a pair of long business pants or a skirt. I don't wear short skirts a lot. I also don't wear hight heels a lot either because I'm not very good at wearing high heels.

  8. #8
    Gold Member lillie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,489
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Angel_325 View Post
    I don't wear really sexy clothing because I'm still trying to lose weight. My attrie is usually a nice sexy top and a pair of long business pants or a skirt. I don't wear short skirts a lot. I also don't wear hight heels a lot either because I'm not very good at wearing high heels.
    Haha yes heel look good but they can be a pain!!!

    Well you sound like you dress smart,nothing wrong with that. But take it from me men really do like heels,skirts,stockings & blouses,oh & not forgetting all the sexy underwear!lol Im comfortable with dressing up socially & privately but some people aren't i know..

    When your reach your target use it as an excuse to go shopping & up the anti re feminine & sexy style Only if you are comfortable with it though..Im sure he will like your new image

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    157
    Gender
    Female
    my boyfriend is much taller than me, but when I wear high heels, it seems like he doesnt like it, he is like you want to wear that again??!!!

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    217
    THis is your own personal confidence issue, don;t make it into your relationship issue. He is a good guy.
    I think you should not pressure him to make you free good about your own mage issue.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
CallChat
$3/minute
Caring professional willing to listen and help whether you're having relationship issues with parents/children/or other loved ones. Contact me now!
Online
CallChat
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Intervention specialist and counselor who helps couples and families live well and love better.
Online
Call
$4.99/minute
ALL forms of relationship issues addressed. Marriage, Divorce, LGBT, BDSM, Alternative Lifestyle, Online Dating and Relationships, Co-Dependence, Sex Addiction
Online
Chat
$2.05/minute
Experienced therapist very skilled with couples and relationship issues. You are not alone. Let me help you navigate your obstacles.
Online
Call
$2.75/minute
Licensed Professional Counselor. 30yrs working with couples & families to empower individuals and their relationships. Exploring the opportunities for joy and contentment.