This may sound petty, but its really left me hurting.
I have two friends who I consider close friends, one in particular I thought we were extremely close.
We had a night out aranged for last night. I had really been looking forward to it as we hadn't had a good proper night out together in a few weeks. On thursday she told me that they probably weren't going out now as they couldn't afford it. Last night about 7:30pm I text both of them to ask if things were definately still off. Niether of them replied. About 9:30pm I was a bit annoyed, but also a but suspicious that niether of them had replied, so I sent a slightly sarcastic, but jokey message "I take it thats a yes then". About 15 minutes she replied and said "sarahs mate drove, we've only come up for one or two to meet Steve (my housemate) and matt (one of my best mates)"
I was hurt so I sent back "ok cheers. Im here in the local having a drink on my own, thanks for letting me know!" to which she sent an arsey reply of "not a problem". I felt bad for snapping and said "sorry I didn't mean to snap but you told me you werent going up town and I text you early to ask and neither of you answered" - to which she simply replied "it was a last minute thing".
I feel hurt that they didn't think to invite me up after they had told me they werent going and i text them to check. Part of me thinks well at least she was honest she admitted they had gone in the end, but I also wonder if she only replied because they had bumped into my housemate and knew I would find out anyway.
I don't expect to go out with them everytime, but this also happened a couple of weeks ago. We were supposed to be going to the greyhound races for her birthday night out. About 2 in the afternoon she text and said "not out tonight" when i asked why she said noones got any money, that she was out having a drink and she would text me in a bit to let me know what was happening. Well she didnt and it turned out that they were all down the local pub from about 2:00 til 9:00 and they again didnt think to ask.
She made out that they only went out as somebody drove them, but I spoke to my housemate and he says that they were meeting the person who drove up there later on, so it was another lie.
The thing that gets me is this person is and has said we are really good friends.She has said in the past that I am the only person she really trusts, and I used to feel the same. I have been there for her through so much.
I stuck by her when her dad nearly died, when she was having boyfriend issues, when she had two big fallouts with her other best mate (the other person i was supposed to be out with). Whenver she has been down or unhappy I have been there for her, have cheered her up and made her feel better about herself.
And what gets me is only a couple of months ago she was moaning to me about the times the girl she was out with has gone out and not invited her, saying that it hurt her and that she would always invite me if she was going out. It hurt that she didn't even apologies and when I had origninally text, yeah maybe i was sarcastic but I wasn't being malicious i was just hurt, she tried to explain but she didn't once say sorry. If she had just been honest and said yeah we went but we wanted it to be just us girls I would have understood. But to me "it was a last minute thing" is no excuse. Id already asked and it takes two minutes to text someone. Shes never been the best person to talk things through and I just have this feeling now she is going to be arsey and ignore me.
I don't know whether to just pretend nothing has happened, tell them how I feel (which will probably end up in her just ignoring me or getting funny with me, or just to forget them ignore them and if they still consider me a friend let them come to me and make the effort. I just thought I could trust them particularly her. The other girl has just come online on msn and gone straight back off again. Not sure how to handle this, they mean alot to me but I don't want to be used.
i've had such good times with them in the past it's hard to think of breaking things off with them. I have other friends but they have all settled down and rarely socialise. I felt really close to her you know, we often chat for hours, she says I am one of the only people she can open up to, and i'm the same with her. I sometimes feel that as long as they both have each other to go out with that they probably don't care, and I'm just their back-up. What makes it worse is I was feeling down this week, she could tell and asked me why and I explained that i'm just feeling kinda lonely lately, ive been single for a while and that sometimes if my friends dont go out I spend the whole weekend on my own and wont see a soul. For her not to think and do this after me telling her that only days ago makes me think wow! I give so much to her but get very little back when it really counts.
Now another thing is, I don't know whether to give her the benefit of the doubt. I know her well and I know she is not the best person at talking things through. She would just go quiet and ignore things until they blow over. I just wish I knew whether or not she felt bad about it, felt any guilt. The way she answered with "not a prob" last night would suggest not, but from the other things she has said to me in the past I would be really shocked if she really didn't care. She probably won't apologise and she will just go quiet and not talk to me for a while. If I knew she felt bad or guilty I could forgive her, but at the same time why should I have to put up with that? I was quick to apologise to her last night for snapping at her and explained that it was just because I was hurt. But she didn't say any more. A simple heartfelt sorry would do, until the next time then I would definately know her true colours.