I am 25 and my boyfriend/fiance is 27. We have been together for 2 years now. My culture is different in that there are a lot of arranged marriages and "dating" is frowned upon. Marriage topics are to be thorougly discussed with parents on both side with agreement.
Initially after a year into the relationship I asked my boyfriend what his intentions were pertaining to this whole marriage issue. He said intially met my family to start the marriage talks but then later decided that he wasn't ready. This forced us to end our relationship. Couple of months later he said to me that he wanted to try again and that he was sorry. He asked me not to pressure him and he would let me know in several months but that at this point he was comitted. I went overseas for one month. While I was gone he daily called and emailed and told me he missed and loved me and to come back soon. When I came back my friends told me that during my time away he expressed to them that he wanted to marry me and that he was sure. He also took me to look at rings.
Again I told him if he wasnt ready then let me know so that we didnt get the families involved. But he assured me he was ready. Then the families get involved and they don't like it one bit. My family is pressuring to have the marriage this year but his family just not wanting it for him. Lately in the last couple of months he playfully whines that he doesnt want to get married that he is scared of marriage. Last weeking he wrote to me "I want to build a perfect family with you..." But then we got into an argument on Friday about the wedding dates and I in my anger said lets break it off if we can't agree. Suprisingly he said okay because he said he wasn't ready. He was supposed to give me a firm answer yesterday but hasn't as of yet. he sent me a text saying "my heart just sinks thinking about it..." and then at the same time he says he doesn't want emotional blackmail or deadlines...he needs time to think...as an overall personality my bf is usually confused and can't make decisions easily. He also lost his jobs several months ago and has had problems finding one since. And I didn't mind supporting him until he found one. He also told all our common friends last week that we were getting married this year....why would he do that if he wasn't ready??....I don't understand the turn around all of a sudden. I love him a lot and I'm afraid I can't wait long as our family situation makes it more difficult.
What do I do? When I try to talk to him he shuts down...he says he wants to be left alone to think....how long do I give him?? I think hes making a wrong decision and that hes caving to the pressure....