I don't know if i'm attracted to her or not

Jason1080 · 04-10-2008, 08:47 AM

I have a girl that has had a huge crush on me for the past 6 months or so and I havent been interested till about a month ago: I rejected her, but we were back to being friends in no time.
She is so nice to me and all, but the real problem lies in whether i like her or not, she is trying so hard to win my heart. I have moments when i feel amorous, some moments i just feel like i want to stay away from her. We are pretty good friends at the moment, what do you guys think I should do?

MushroomGod · 04-10-2008, 10:10 AM

You know I've gone back and forth with questions like these. Funny thing is when she has you she might loss interest. She probably won't tho I'm just throwing that in there. I say go for it and see if something can develop. If they don't after a month be honest with her that you don't think its going to work out.

tangi39 · 04-10-2008, 10:22 AM

You can't learn to be attracted to someone- You either are or aren't. And I don't think that's shallow- I just think that's honest. If you don't feel attracted to her at ALL- I don't think you can have a romantic relationship- You can love someone you are friends with and having loving feelings- but that doesn't mean you are romantically or sexually compatible. At this point- I think you guys are better off as good friends.

Snoopy24 · 04-10-2008, 10:32 AM

If you are close friends with her and you aren't sure about your feelings, I think you should stay friends.

At least for right now. It seems like she really likes you and if you bring it to the next level, and then "realize" you don't want to be with her you will really hurt her and most likely ruin your friendship.

Maybe your feelings will grow stronger in time. But if/when that day comes that you KNOW you like her..keep it as a friendship

Snoopy24 · 04-10-2008, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tangi39

You can't learn to be attracted to someone- You either are or aren't. And I don't think that's shallow- I just think that's honest. If you don't feel attracted to her at ALL- I don't think you can have a romantic relationship- You can love someone you are friends with and having loving feelings- but that doesn't mean you are romantically or sexually compatible. At this point- I think you guys are better off as good friends.

This isn't true.

I can't even ell you how many guys I "initially" thought were unattractive. But when I got to know them, I was more and more physically attracted to them.

And the other way. really good looking people that have a bad attitude look a lot uglier to me.

ghost69 · 04-10-2008, 10:39 AM

is it one of those girls that looks hot and cute one day and just ehhh the next? initially, if you didn't have that physical attraction, this is probably going to bug you if you do date.

Sunshine311 · 04-10-2008, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tangi39

You can't learn to be attracted to someone- You either are or aren't. And I don't think that's shallow- I just think that's honest. If you don't feel attracted to her at ALL- I don't think you can have a romantic relationship- You can love someone you are friends with and having loving feelings- but that doesn't mean you are romantically or sexually compatible. At this point- I think you guys are better off as good friends.

NOT TRUE AT ALL!! I can remember one guy in particular - when i first met him I thought he was ugly! But as I hung around him and started spending time with him, I became more and more attracted to him. He was so confident, and funny, and sweet, and charming. Pretty soon I couldn't wait to see him, and my whole body tingled when he'd just touch my arm!!

And, as Snoopy said, it works the other way too. I'll see a guy and think he is so gorgeous, just to spend time with him and realize he's an idiot and cringe at his touch.

So yes, attraction can come the more you spend time with someone.

Bubalu · 04-10-2008, 11:35 AM

I do think in some cases you can grow to become attracted to somebody you initially weren't attracted to. But I also think you would know if you were; if you're doubting and asking questions as to whether you're attracted to her or not then you probably aren't. I think you're just fond of her as a friend. You shouldn't feel bad and want to like somebody just because he/she is trying to win your heart.

KAT MOMMY · 04-10-2008, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine311

NOT TRUE AT ALL!! I can remember one guy in particular - when i first met him I thought he was ugly! But as I hung around him and started spending time with him, I became more and more attracted to him. He was so confident, and funny, and sweet, and charming. Pretty soon I couldn't wait to see him, and my whole body tingled when he'd just touch my arm!!

And, as Snoopy said, it works the other way too. I'll see a guy and think he is so gorgeous, just to spend time with him and realize he's an idiot and cringe at his touch.

So yes, attraction can come the more you spend time with someone.

I've had the same experience in the past but the thing about it is the guy was ugly to me to begin with and even during it he was still ugly but I allowed myself to see him as a person despite his looks. i think that is true for females but not for guys. Sex for them is physical and once they have feelings it's mental and physical so if a guy isn't initally attracted to you from the beginning he probably isn't going to change that at all-no matter how nice you are or how good your BJ's are---WOW (did I say that)

Besides if you have to ask yourself if it's a go then really it's not

Good Luck

04-10-2008, 08:47 AM	#1
Jason1080 Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 104	I don't know if i'm attracted to her or not I have a girl that has had a huge crush on me for the past 6 months or so and I havent been interested till about a month ago: I rejected her, but we were back to being friends in no time. She is so nice to me and all, but the real problem lies in whether i like her or not, she is trying so hard to win my heart. I have moments when i feel amorous, some moments i just feel like i want to stay away from her. We are pretty good friends at the moment, what do you guys think I should do?

04-10-2008, 10:10 AM	#2
MushroomGod Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 785	You know I've gone back and forth with questions like these. Funny thing is when she has you she might loss interest. She probably won't tho I'm just throwing that in there. I say go for it and see if something can develop. If they don't after a month be honest with her that you don't think its going to work out. __________________ Kisses aren't contracts baby and these days neither are words...

04-10-2008, 10:39 AM	#6
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,424	is it one of those girls that looks hot and cute one day and just ehhh the next? initially, if you didn't have that physical attraction, this is probably going to bug you if you do date. __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

04-10-2008, 10:22 AM	#3
tangi39 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 925	You can't learn to be attracted to someone- You either are or aren't. And I don't think that's shallow- I just think that's honest. If you don't feel attracted to her at ALL- I don't think you can have a romantic relationship- You can love someone you are friends with and having loving feelings- but that doesn't mean you are romantically or sexually compatible. At this point- I think you guys are better off as good friends.

04-10-2008, 10:32 AM	#4
Snoopy24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: New York Gender: Female Posts: 1,621	If you are close friends with her and you aren't sure about your feelings, I think you should stay friends. At least for right now. It seems like she really likes you and if you bring it to the next level, and then "realize" you don't want to be with her you will really hurt her and most likely ruin your friendship. Maybe your feelings will grow stronger in time. But if/when that day comes that you KNOW you like her..keep it as a friendship

04-10-2008, 11:35 AM	#8
Bubalu Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 1,258	I do think in some cases you can grow to become attracted to somebody you initially weren't attracted to. But I also think you would know if you were; if you're doubting and asking questions as to whether you're attracted to her or not then you probably aren't. I think you're just fond of her as a friend. You shouldn't feel bad and want to like somebody just because he/she is trying to win your heart.