GF gas ssues with smoking marijuana. :( opinions?

canyonrunner · 03-24-2008, 04:02 AM

My girlfriend has a huge problem with the fact that I enjoy smoking marijuana on occasion. I don't consider myself to be a stoner or a pothead by any means. When i smoke it is always in small amounts, in the safety of my own home, and with cannabis from a state regulated medical marijuana dispensary. I only smoke after all of my other responsibilities are completely fulfilled. I go to college and have a 3.6 GPA and work several part time jobs. I have no criminal record and everyone I know would describe me as a very caring and nice person. When I smoke it is always on my own time and never in her presence. I make sure never to smell of smoke and am very hygienic about it. I even bought a vaporizer which extracts the active ingredient (THC) of the marijuana without burning the herb which means no smoke enters my lungs meaning there is no risk of lung related problems. I looked online for known long term negative effects of THC when taken in small amounts and couldn't find anything that was proven with a medical study. Also for those who don't know, it is a fact that it is physically impossible to overdose on marijuana. To date there have been no recorded deaths as a result of marijuana overdose. What I am getting at is that I cant understand why this is such a huge issue for her. Whenever I try to sit down and talk with her about the issue she gets mad and wont listen to me and we end up in a fight.

My question to you is...

1. Why does she have such a huge problem with the behavior given my stated situation?

2. Do you think I am justified in wanting to exercise my own habits in this situation?

Or

3. Is she simply over reacting, or am I?

Thanks

brahman · 03-24-2008, 04:34 AM

In a none opinionated world, neither of you are over reaching. You have your likes ad dislikes ad she has her likes and dislikes. You need to realize that nobody will tell you that you are right, more people will side with her. It doesn't sound like you two are right for each other. It's a harsh opinion I know, but you need to be with someone who accepts you for you. And something as big as an issue as pot is enough to break up over. Either that or change, but to expect her to change just won't happen.

Timebandit · 03-24-2008, 04:58 AM

1.
Some people just have negative associations with drug use. Some people have bad experiences themselves or with people they know because of drugs. Some just become scared because of what they hear and read in the press etc.

2.
Justified? It's more like: what do you get out of it vs. what do you risk by keep doing it (including your relationship)

3.
You just have differet opinions. When she gets mad when you talk to her it's probably because you are trying to tell her your version of the truth. Try to give her some time uninterrrupted to tell you about her concerns regarding your pot use.

I am not qualified to speak about the effects of THC. But even if you seem to deal with your pot use in a safe and sane fashion you are actually using drugs. I wonder why it is so important to you that you are wlling to risk your relationship because of something you only do ocasionally and only in small doses.

I think the first step is to find out why it is such a concern to her. And for that you need to stop arguing your case, but actually listen to her.

agent · 03-24-2008, 08:21 AM

Drug use, any non-medical drug use, is just distasteful to some people. Just as dinking or smoking cigarettes are distateful to some people.

She's entitled to not like it, and you're entitled to smoke it if you want to (law not withstanding.)

Talk to your gf about her reasons. Ask and don't turn it into a platform for justifying your reasons or trying to make her feel wrong. Most likely however, you're just going to have to agree to disagree about it.

Batya33 · 03-24-2008, 08:30 AM

I wouldn't date anyone who still smoked pot even on occasion, and as soon as I found out about it (for whatever reason, those who did used to tell me within the first date or so) I wouldn't go out again. If the person smoked in college, or a little after college then perhaps, fine (I am in my early 40s, and I've felt exactly the same way since I was in my mid 20s). My reasons have to do with health, compatible values, morals, ethics, bad experiences, wanting a family, etc. I've never tried it, never plan to - I don't think anyone else should do what I do, it's just that I choose not to date those who do. Depending on the extent of illegal drug use, I might have no problem being friends/friendly with the person - a few of my friends still smoke on occasion.

The issue I see here is that you are judging her for her views and values - as someone else wrote, you both are entitled to your opinions. It would be a little odd if her issues came up months after she knew, but that can happen - maybe she did have a bad experience.

livinginsbi · 03-24-2008, 10:26 AM

It would be interesting to hear her version of the story. My ex would go to great lengths to defend his pot smoking. But at the end of the day, the fact was the pot was more important in his life than I was - and the relationship wasn't worth the effort anymore. What's more important - her or the pot - it's your decision.

JeckyllNHyde · 03-24-2008, 10:52 AM

LOL! OHhhhh boy! I seriously thought reading the titel first you gf had GAS issues smoking marijuana.

1. Ok well my bf is just like you. Or used to be anyways. He used to smoke on occasion and is in no way a stoner. He has a full time job and is extremely responsible. Doesn't lay around smoking pot all day.
I have a problem with it, simply b/c I don't see a need to do it and to me, someone who smokes pot can get lung cancer even if he does you an extractor or what you are using. I have never heard of that btw. Maybe it works, who knows. But I would need to see proof.
I dunno, as a gf I just see it as unnecessary for a bf to do. But oh well... I let it go if he does decide to take it up as a once in a while thing.
Also I would hate if someone else found out my bf used and associated me with him.

2. Yeah, everyone is justified to do as they please as long as they aren't harming themselves or others (I think).

3. Even though I have been like her at some points and made an issue of my bf smoking it once in a while, I have to say it's more her trying to be controlling/bossy. But at the same time also the other factors I mentioned in 1.
Give her some mary J and tell her to chill. (j/k)

Oh and I like very much what livingsbi said. If pot smoking was more important then the relationship, I would find that a veryyyy big problem and walk away basicly.

canyonrunner · 03-24-2008, 12:14 PM

Thank you all for your insightful opinions.

Isabellawolla · 03-24-2008, 12:48 PM

The way you put it sounds very reasonable and logical, of course with your 3.6 I'm sure this wasn't a mistake. She may have underlying issues with drugs, or the fact that you are enjoying them. From how you've put it, she seems to be overreacting, but this is just you're side of the story. Have you asked her about it in depth? Maybe scoot her our way, or recommend that you would like to delve further into this issue with other online forums.
--I happen to dislike any recreational drug use, no matter how often. If you really do want to keep her and it's not hard to quit pot, try it out for a month or two and see if anything changes. Anything productive you could be doing with that time? Learn a new language perhaps?

gatorclaws · 03-24-2008, 06:48 PM

This is a fundamental thing that some people just won't accept. I have friends who smoke pot and it doesn't really bother me, but I wouldn't date someone who does. That's just how I feel.

03-24-2008, 04:02 AM	#1
canyonrunner Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 14	Girlfriend has issues with smoking marijuana. :-( opinions? My girlfriend has a huge problem with the fact that I enjoy smoking marijuana on occasion. I don't consider myself to be a stoner or a pothead by any means. When i smoke it is always in small amounts, in the safety of my own home, and with cannabis from a state regulated medical marijuana dispensary. I only smoke after all of my other responsibilities are completely fulfilled. I go to college and have a 3.6 GPA and work several part time jobs. I have no criminal record and everyone I know would describe me as a very caring and nice person. When I smoke it is always on my own time and never in her presence. I make sure never to smell of smoke and am very hygienic about it. I even bought a vaporizer which extracts the active ingredient (THC) of the marijuana without burning the herb which means no smoke enters my lungs meaning there is no risk of lung related problems. I looked online for known long term negative effects of THC when taken in small amounts and couldn't find anything that was proven with a medical study. Also for those who don't know, it is a fact that it is physically impossible to overdose on marijuana. To date there have been no recorded deaths as a result of marijuana overdose. What I am getting at is that I cant understand why this is such a huge issue for her. Whenever I try to sit down and talk with her about the issue she gets mad and wont listen to me and we end up in a fight. My question to you is... 1. Why does she have such a huge problem with the behavior given my stated situation? 2. Do you think I am justified in wanting to exercise my own habits in this situation? Or 3. Is she simply over reacting, or am I? Thanks Last edited by canyonrunner; 03-24-2008 at 04:16 AM.

03-24-2008, 04:34 AM	#2
brahman Offline Silver Member Join Date: May 2005 Age: 24 Posts: 626	In a none opinionated world, neither of you are over reaching. You have your likes ad dislikes ad she has her likes and dislikes. You need to realize that nobody will tell you that you are right, more people will side with her. It doesn't sound like you two are right for each other. It's a harsh opinion I know, but you need to be with someone who accepts you for you. And something as big as an issue as pot is enough to break up over. Either that or change, but to expect her to change just won't happen. __________________ just a guy trying to get by

03-24-2008, 08:21 AM	#4
agent Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 3,891	Drug use, any non-medical drug use, is just distasteful to some people. Just as dinking or smoking cigarettes are distateful to some people. She's entitled to not like it, and you're entitled to smoke it if you want to (law not withstanding.) Talk to your gf about her reasons. Ask and don't turn it into a platform for justifying your reasons or trying to make her feel wrong. Most likely however, you're just going to have to agree to disagree about it. __________________ "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too." - Anais Nin "Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy." -Octave Mirbeau "Don't be sad, don't be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief; your time for joy will come, believe me." -Aleksandr Pushkin

03-24-2008, 10:52 AM	#7
JeckyllNHyde Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 5,194	LOL! OHhhhh boy! I seriously thought reading the titel first you gf had GAS issues smoking marijuana. 1. Ok well my bf is just like you. Or used to be anyways. He used to smoke on occasion and is in no way a stoner. He has a full time job and is extremely responsible. Doesn't lay around smoking pot all day. I have a problem with it, simply b/c I don't see a need to do it and to me, someone who smokes pot can get lung cancer even if he does you an extractor or what you are using. I have never heard of that btw. Maybe it works, who knows. But I would need to see proof. I dunno, as a gf I just see it as unnecessary for a bf to do. But oh well... I let it go if he does decide to take it up as a once in a while thing. Also I would hate if someone else found out my bf used and associated me with him. 2. Yeah, everyone is justified to do as they please as long as they aren't harming themselves or others (I think). 3. Even though I have been like her at some points and made an issue of my bf smoking it once in a while, I have to say it's more her trying to be controlling/bossy. But at the same time also the other factors I mentioned in 1. Give her some mary J and tell her to chill. (j/k) Oh and I like very much what livingsbi said. If pot smoking was more important then the relationship, I would find that a veryyyy big problem and walk away basicly. __________________ You're just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off of you...

03-24-2008, 04:58 AM	#3
Timebandit Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 1,120	1. Some people just have negative associations with drug use. Some people have bad experiences themselves or with people they know because of drugs. Some just become scared because of what they hear and read in the press etc. 2. Justified? It's more like: what do you get out of it vs. what do you risk by keep doing it (including your relationship) 3. You just have differet opinions. When she gets mad when you talk to her it's probably because you are trying to tell her your version of the truth. Try to give her some time uninterrrupted to tell you about her concerns regarding your pot use. I am not qualified to speak about the effects of THC. But even if you seem to deal with your pot use in a safe and sane fashion you are actually using drugs. I wonder why it is so important to you that you are wlling to risk your relationship because of something you only do ocasionally and only in small doses. I think the first step is to find out why it is such a concern to her. And for that you need to stop arguing your case, but actually listen to her.

03-24-2008, 08:30 AM	#5
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,059	I wouldn't date anyone who still smoked pot even on occasion, and as soon as I found out about it (for whatever reason, those who did used to tell me within the first date or so) I wouldn't go out again. If the person smoked in college, or a little after college then perhaps, fine (I am in my early 40s, and I've felt exactly the same way since I was in my mid 20s). My reasons have to do with health, compatible values, morals, ethics, bad experiences, wanting a family, etc. I've never tried it, never plan to - I don't think anyone else should do what I do, it's just that I choose not to date those who do. Depending on the extent of illegal drug use, I might have no problem being friends/friendly with the person - a few of my friends still smoke on occasion. The issue I see here is that you are judging her for her views and values - as someone else wrote, you both are entitled to your opinions. It would be a little odd if her issues came up months after she knew, but that can happen - maybe she did have a bad experience.

03-24-2008, 10:26 AM	#6
livinginsbi Online Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: oHIo Gender: Female Age: 47 Posts: 1,306	It would be interesting to hear her version of the story. My ex would go to great lengths to defend his pot smoking. But at the end of the day, the fact was the pot was more important in his life than I was - and the relationship wasn't worth the effort anymore. What's more important - her or the pot - it's your decision.

03-24-2008, 12:14 PM	#8
canyonrunner Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 14	Thank you all for your insightful opinions.

03-24-2008, 12:48 PM	#9
Isabellawolla Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Santa Monica Gender: Female Posts: 4	The way you put it sounds very reasonable and logical, of course with your 3.6 I'm sure this wasn't a mistake. She may have underlying issues with drugs, or the fact that you are enjoying them. From how you've put it, she seems to be overreacting, but this is just you're side of the story. Have you asked her about it in depth? Maybe scoot her our way, or recommend that you would like to delve further into this issue with other online forums. --I happen to dislike any recreational drug use, no matter how often. If you really do want to keep her and it's not hard to quit pot, try it out for a month or two and see if anything changes. Anything productive you could be doing with that time? Learn a new language perhaps?

03-24-2008, 06:48 PM	#10
gatorclaws Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 293	This is a fundamental thing that some people just won't accept. I have friends who smoke pot and it doesn't really bother me, but I wouldn't date someone who does. That's just how I feel.