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When a guy says your amazing but " does not want a relationship?"


GetMeBack

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Hey everyone..

 

A question to all you guys out there...

 

Have you ever really liked a woman....but just did not want a relationship?

 

I have read numerous books...including the " He is not that into you " one which I think just about every woman has read now..

 

And it simply states that if a man mentions this..." He is just not that into you"

 

I have put this accross to a guy who is quite close to me at the moment and in his words..." its a load of crock" is that so ...or is just excuse men come out with to get easy sex with no strings attached...

 

I would just like to know your experiences with using that one liner " I just dont want a relationship right now " Was you being genuine? e.t.c e.t.c

 

 

GetMeBack

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sometimes yes, sometimes no.

 

I have said it to kind of let a girl down without hurting her feelings. I have learned that it is much better to just be BLUNT. I dont beat around the bush anymore.. in fact... I hate "bushes" lol.... do a landing strip, shave or a nice trim.... oh.. back to the subject... sorry

 

I have said it and meant it before to... If I really like a girl but its too early in the "dating" process to become BF/GF... I will use that line when they ask me to make it official... What it means to me when I say it in these situations is "I really like you SO FAR, dont F things up by changing" lol. JK but yeah... there is still potential in becoming official with someone I say this too. I use that line a lot.

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getmeback

 

i am experiencing a similar situation. have been seeing a guy on and off who has told me he's not ready for a relationship right now. i keep telling him that although i dont need him to use the "r" word, i still need to know where i stand.

 

i am backing off now (completely), i actually do trust that he needs to be alone to sort his head out and hopefully realise that he is missing out on something great!

 

if you can handle just being causal with him, then do it. I personally thought i could - but i cant. you want to be a with a guy who just wants to be with you!

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getmeback

 

i am experiencing a similar situation. have been seeing a guy on and off who has told me he's not ready for a relationship right now. i keep telling him that although i dont need him to use the "r" word, i still need to know where i stand.

 

i am backing off now (completely), i actually do trust that he needs to be alone to sort his head out and hopefully realise that he is missing out on something great!

 

if you can handle just being causal with him, then do it. I personally thought i could - but i cant. you want to be a with a guy who just wants to be with you!

 

Wow, you sound just like me...yes I know I dont think I can either.. I mean if your so amazing...why would they risk losing you to someone else if they " dont a relationship " the logic is not right there...you cant be that amazing in "their" eyes if thats the case..I think I am going to just disappear..sigh..

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Personally, I've had that line used on me by a guy, and while at the time I believed it, now I see it as a huge crock of crap. He just didn't want to be with me -- well, or with ANYONE, other than his ex. Well, he has her back now, so hopefully he won't be using that tired excuse on anyone else.

 

(Yes, I'm a little bitter. But I'll get over it).

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Oh god...jeckyll that sucks..This guy I am involved with is strange to say the least...he calls me and seems to genuinely care about me..but then " not want a relationship" He broke up with his ex in october and he said the relationship lasted 18 months and it was the longest relationship he ever had..He is 24. I cant be bothered to be honest..something is just not right..Also he says he would never want her back and he dont miss her...but she texts and calls him and also he talks to a lot of girls on facebook, constantly superpoking them and stuff, really lame in my opinion lol.

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To be honest, most guys I ended up being in a relationship with "I wasn't ready for a relationship at the time" ..but when you like someone so much, as much as you're not ready or "don't want anything serious" it all changes when you meet the right person.

 

And also I have met guys I liked..but not enough to start a relationship with, and said the same thing.

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Personally, I've had that line used on me by a guy, and while at the time I believed it, now I see it as a huge crock of crap. He just didn't want to be with me -- well, or with ANYONE, other than his ex. Well, he has her back now, so hopefully he won't be using that tired excuse on anyone else.

 

(Yes, I'm a little bitter. But I'll get over it).

 

lol...god it just seems there is a general consensus forming here......hmmm.

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the only thing that can happen when you hear that is try and move further with him still and become his gf. this will only hurt yourself.

 

-or-

 

you can hang out with him, have fun, maybe sex, whatever, and be contempt with the situation and not expect anything further.

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I was dating this overweight midget before... she was cute and fun to toss upon my shoulders... but the fact that she was....... oh wait.... thats a BS story.

 

I really think that a guy can really mean it when he says it. I have only abused that line once. I have said that line to every girl I have become official with. I just use it when its too early in the relationship to become official with her. I eventually end up dating them. No worries... like the famous quote..

 

"life is like a box of BS... you never know how happy your puppy is until the tail wags" or something like that... ok thats another BS statement made by me... I am hyper AH!!!! FRIDAY! WOOT WOOT!

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I was dating this overweight midget before... she was cute and fun to toss upon my shoulders... but the fact that she was....... oh wait.... thats a BS story.

 

I really think that a guy can really mean it when he says it. I have only aboused that line once. I have said that line to every girl I have become official with. I just use it when its too early in the relationship to become official with her. I eventually end up dating them. No worries... like the famous quote..

 

"life is like a box of BS... you never know how happy your puppy is until the tail wags" or something like that... ok thats another BS statement made by me... I am hyper AH!!!! FRIDAY! WOOT WOOT!

 

so tell me the story about the overweight midget i am intrigued....

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Getmeback -- I think there are SOME (very RARE) cases in which a guy really is "into" a woman but *can't* (or maybe shouldn't) be in a relationship, but often, I think, it's a case of him saying "You're great, you're wonderful, BUT...I'm not interested in a relationship with you." It's just a case of the person thinking you're not right for him or her -- it is NO reflection on you or who you are as a person. Maybe he likes someone else better. Maybe he's "keeping his options open." Maybe he's not over his ex (as mine wasn't) -- whatever the reason, it's probably not going to happen with him. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you and appreciate your good qualities -- he simply doesn't think the two of you would be a good "match."

 

In my case, the guy went on and on about how great I am, even pursued me at times, and even when I told him specifically that I was in no hurry for a serious relationship, he backed away from me. As it turns out, he was pining away for his ex the whole time; well, now he has her back. I hope he's happy, because if he isn't...well...I don't know what to say. This is what he wanted, so he darn well better be happy!

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Yes I completely agree brown eyed...Do you think I should just disappear now....What did you do? I am only going to set myself up for disappointment, if I carry on pissing around with this man. Its too early in the game for me to be hurt...so maybe I should quit while Im ahead?

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so tell me the story about the overweight midget i am intrigued....

 

 

 

Well there I was, minding my own business laying in the snow on a hot summers day. Tinkerbell flew accross my path and covered me with fairy dust. I was pissed and proceeded to chase her, To my surprise I ended up in never never land.

 

Long story short I drank with peter pan, tied him up and gave him to good ol James Hook. He was later filleted and served as our main coarse and my gift form good ol Capt. Hook was his overweight midget sister. We laughed, sang danced and then I flew home never to see her again. I am now dating a supermodel named Helga.

 

Intrigued still? LOL

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I did really like him and I would of liked things to develop further but I dont sleep around so its a relationship or nothing for me really. I dont do fwb or whatever it is...But I have always been really weary with men that have lots of girls as "friends " ..something is just not right about it...

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Well there I was, minding my own business laying in the snow on a hot summers day. Tinkerbell flew accross my path and covered me with fairy dust. I was pissed and proceeded to chase her, To my surprise I ended up in never never land.

 

Long story short I drank with peter pan, tied him up and gave him to good ol James Hook. He was later filleted and served as our main coarse and my gift form good ol Capt. Hook was his overweight midget sister. We laughed, sang danced and then I flew home never to see her again. I am now dating a supermodel named Helga.

 

Intrigued still? LOL

 

Yeah your rocking my world.

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So funny you say that, cause that was the case with this guy.

He and the ex broke up. That's the reason I posted on ENA since July but now I'm way over it. But yep... I think he also went back to his ex even though he complained about her so much. Deep down he was also pining away over her, while complaining to me... (unknowingly) his stand in relationship psychologist.

 

Oh dont you just love it when you get promoted to therapist.....

 

Damn I wish I could have references for every guy I have offered my counselling skills too..

 

Id have a phd by now..

 

Dr GetMeBack...

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If you're looking for an actual relationship, yeah, I'd say quit while you're ahead. Depending on how long you've known him, you might just disappear. If you feel badly about doing that, you might just tell him something along the lines of "You're a great guy, but I'm looking to date someone who is interested in more than just something casual, and you've made it clear that you're not." If he changes his mind at some point, he can contact you.

 

I understand men being reluctant to say "Yes, I want a serious relationship" early on, because you need to get to know someone a bit before entertaining thoughts of anything serious, but in my experience, and in the experiences of MANY of my female friends and family members, when a guy announces early on "I'm not looking for a relationship" or "I'm not ready for a relationship," it means that he's looking for something casual, OR he's not sure he wants to pursue anything with you, but he doesn't want to come right out and say "I'm only looking for a hookup" or "You're a good person, but I don't see anything happening between us."

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Here is another line that girls seem to not like

 

Go up to a girl at a bar and say "hey, I noticed you are sitting here all alone cause I have been watching you allllll night, are you walking to your car all by yourself later?"

 

I don't know why but it creeps them out. Sigh...

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