still recovering from abuse??

I am starting to feel like there is no point trying to fight this

I've talked to people in their late fifties who are still trying to overcome emotional damage from childhood sexual abuse

I don't want to be an old man still affected by things that happened when i was a child

People have all sorts of help, spend lots of time fighting this, but in the end it doesn't matter what you do or what you say, it is always there

there must be some way to neatly compartementalise this into a quiet corner of your brain, any tips?

Not entirely. Unfortunately, when we are abused, it affects all our relationships throughout our whole life. The only thing i can tell you is for you to get help, try and cope with it the best way you possibly can and try not to think about it. Good luck.

Therapy...perhaps.

I have sexually abused when I was 8.

Now I have overcome it. I really don't care.. it doesn't bother me anymore. What's in the past is in the past. The thought of the past quite scares me. I must always think of the present and create a light plan of the future.

I've been avoiding this thread, i read the replies, but something was telling me inside that i might lose myself by returning to this thread.

I agree Gizmo, there will always be something left there that lurks, but i think i have developed some strength and direction over the past couple of days of consideration (as stupid as that sounds) that will allow me to deal with this in the right way

"try not to think about it"- good advice, but i think that's one of the things i was trying to avoid, if you tell someone not to think about rabbits then all you can think about is rabbits, but actually that is the thing that has most boldly been in my mind over the past couple of days and is maybe why i havent replied to you guys yet.

I think therapy will have its day, but that for me is a last resort

"Now i have overcome it. I really don't care.."

another phrase i've been avoiding, i ask myself should i care then? and there are so many people out there who don't care, who aren't affected, and that makes me feel weak, because i do care, but i understand when you say you don't care, that you have integrated it, that you can deal with it now, and that's good.

I think i can deal with it now, or at least partly, because i've let it settle, black and white in my mind, i understand my feelings and the situation of things with the exactness of a pin-point (i've been approaching this from many different ways over the past month). I understand these things now, understand their affects, so in a way i could say i don't care, because i can describe it all now, exactly, i find it hard to describe the liberation of that. The liberation of accepting things, taking away the guilt and shame and weakness and purging the recurrence of memory, knowing none of it was my fault and actually accepting as much as everyone keeps saying that i was just a child. I actually havent had any bad dreams for the past couple of nights, in fact i've had some amusing ones.

I havent been such a good student lately- but i can feel that has corrected itself in the pit of my stomach- i actually think i'm almost back on track- my boss actually revived a nickname (unknowingly) that i used to have at one point- smiler- now that made my day lol

lets hope my brief neglect of my studies and homework hasn't ruined me, wish me luck for my exam on Monday!

dragon111 there is a site just for abuse survivors.

Their stories are shocking and tragic as is yours. Perhaps talking with others about it with similar experiences will help you.

You were never at fault. You were a child.

Firstly, I'd l have to say I'm sorry for what you went thru.Secondly, I agree with Gizmo --there's always gonna be that "baggage" there. Horrible I know. Yes people can overcome most of it, but I personally donnot believe you can totally get rid of "it". Your childhood always effects you and the experiences are hard to shake off.