Why do people seem to hate me? I feel like such a loser

I'm 21 and don't have that many friends at all, I have basically no experience with girls. I'm pretty focused on school.

I went to visit my friend(he considers me his best friend, I'm his best man at his wedding) at his college last weekend and the whole experience just made me feel like such a loser.

We hung out with his fiance and her roommates. One of the girls 'liked' me from a previous time we hung out and then I was kind of too shy to do anything about it.

Well this time I tried talking to her, asking her questions, making jokes, sitting next to her at the restaurant and movies we went to. She didn't seem to have any interest in me at all.

My friends fiance seems to hate me as well, for no real reason, she kept teasing me about being my friends 'boyfriend' and when I didn't sit next to him at the movies asked me why I wasn't sitting with my boyfriend so we could cuddle. * * * ? She made a couple of more jokes like this throughout the night.

I also tried talking with the girl on messenger after. Hinting that I liked her and stuff but got no real reaction at all, seems just kind of cold towards me. She never initiates conversations online.

I think I'm such a nice person, pretty funny at times, very easy to talk to and stuff and not too bad looking. (I exercise 3-4 times per week). But why doesn't this girl like me? Why does my friends fiance seem to hate me?

I just don't understand sometimes why people seem to hate me...

I know it may seem like I'm making a big deal over this one experience but I'm not really because its a microcosm of my entire life, people just don't seem to like me, and I feel I don't know why because I'm a great person.

I'm on spring break now so I have some downtime from stressful school alone to think about my life and these things (funny, I'm doing this while most people are probably having a great time on a beach somewhere hahah). How I feel like my life is not what I want it to be in many ways but can't figure out where I am going wrong and it just frustrates the hell out of me.

Is it so wrong just to want a girlfriend for once in my life? It seems so easy for other people and I can't even manage to get a date. I wish I had more friends to set me up with their girl friends.

Sorry for the really long post, its just kind of stream of thought that I had to get out to someone, it feels a lot better just to say this stuff.

Hey bro. Sorry that the fiance was trash-talking. If both her and her friend were acting mean or cold, that could just be their personality. This wouldn't be the first time that someone's friend is marrying a ***** to everyone else but an angel to them.

"I think I'm such a nice person, pretty funny at times, very easy to talk to and stuff and not too bad looking. (I exercise 3-4 times per week). But why doesn't this girl like me? Why does my friends fiance seem to hate me?"

Don't let these girls determine your outlook on yourself. From what you said, you have a lot of self-confidence. That's absolutely the best thing going for you. Now just start branching out.

"I wish I had more friends to set me up with their girl friends."

If I were you, I wouldn't be too dead-set on hooking up with a friend of a friend. If it goes south, you could lose your friend. Just go to coffee shops, bookstores and start mingling.

Good luck.

I feel I don't know why because I'm a great person.

Do you believe this or are you just saying it? I got the feeling you don't actually think you're a great person. If you did, than you wouldn't be questioning yourself. Sorry to be so "blunt".

Did you feel differently about yourself the last time you saw them (less depressed, more outgoing, etc)?

Maybe you've changed since the last time you visited him.

Are you feeling gloomy about a lot of things? If so, than you could be depressed. I think you should talk to a counselor. It will really help you straighten out some of those thoughts you are having about yourself.

I'm where you are right now. I actually just started therapy and am taking anti-depressants.

I sometimes sit and wonder what happened? I used to be so outgoing and so full-of-life, now I always question myself and criticize myself. But since I've been on the medication I've gotten a lot better. It really helps.

Well, I think your pretty off to be honest. I felt really good about myself going in and while I was hanging out, I had a fun time overall, it was just these little things that got to me.

I'm not really questioning myself, because I know I am a great person, I just don't understand why people don't like me and can be so cold and mean.

I have a lot of great qualities. I'm honest, loyal, kind, compassionate, intelligent...

Do I have some weaknesses? Yeah of course. I have no relationship experience, I can be shy/quiet sometimes (I wasn't last weekend though).

If anything, I'm more outgoing than a I was last time. The first time I met that girl she thought I was "charming and cute" and I was just as much this time, except I talked to her more to show more interest. And I'm even in better shape and look much better than the last time she saw me.

I'm not hung up on this girl or anything, but its just a perfect example of my life, I just don't get where I am going wrong...

Maybe you came off TOO cocky this time--too confident?? Last time she was hitting on, when you seemed to by more shy, right? Maybe she is dating someone? Don't come down on yourself. You did fine. She's probably the one with the issue. Maybe she is involved with someone?

You have a good point, I would NEVER let my girlfriend talk to my best friend this way.

To be honest she doesn't treat him that great either, I don't feel comfortable saying anything to him about it though. It was the first girlfriend he ever had and hes marrying her. He is a great guy too, deep down I feel like he deserves a better girl but this is not for me to decide.

He also said that after they get married they are moving out of state accross the country (so I'll probably never see him again, when I asked him why he said because his fiance wants to). I mean, he will do anything she tells him to do. He will move away from me like its nothing, he just casually mentions it to me, his best friend of 10 years. It kind of sickens me actually. I kind of wish I wasn't the best man to the wedding.

You guys are right though. I'm gonna try to get my mind off these girls and things, try to meet other people and just be happy.

I gotta just get out and have some fun I think. My other friend and I are gonna go to a bar tonight, maybe it will get my mind off these things. I'm too good to worry about this kind of crap.

Thanks guys.

Heres what I think:

- Work hard to be a good person.

This way, if people reject you, its their fault, not yours because you're trying your best to be a good person.

You should also be with people who make you feel good about yourself. Sometimes those people dn't exist...those people are special things that come only rarely. Its life.

There are some GREAT insights on here.

Women DO look to their appointed "leader".

If you lack respect for yourself, that is what you'll get from the world.

In a way, the world is your mirror.

I know where you're coming from man, I was there in the past.

After a couple years of doing some serious Inner - Work,

I noticed something very interesting. When you are confident

and I mean a DEEP and UNWAVERING level of confidence, people

will be intimidated by you - both male and female.

So that's not your problem. If you're coming from a good place

like not wanting anything from people, you give out good energy,

and you just want to have fun and meet people - your life will

change. Opportunities will come from every angle my friend.

We all start with issues due to our culture.

You've started the journey, now if you stick to it through thick

and thin - you'll be AMAZED at what you're cable of.

You're already connected to what you desire in life, you

just have to believe and start with that 51% of faith in yourself.

You'll learn how to socialize, flirt with women, make tons of

real friends and access numerous opportunities.

It sounds like you're on the right track.

The greatest attitude you can have is this:

No matter what ANYONE thinks of me, this girl, that guy, those people

......I could care less. I live my life for me. Whatever the outcome is,

I still rock on in my life choosing to be the best man I know how. I

follow my heart fearlessly and am committed to sharing my uniqueness

with the world.

"What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

-Robert Schuller

I'm rootin for ya man.

Johnny

People are bad you should just focus on school and make more money than them.

People are bad you should just focus on school and make more money than them.

What really sucks is when you date a jerk and then he dumps you and then not only that ends up dating a model and making four times as much as you. Its my favorite.

What really sucks is when you date a jerk and then he dumps you and then not only that ends up dating a model and making four times as much as you. Its my favorite.

gawd I hope so would serve you right for rejecting the nice guy

no my point was more that the age of 21 should have a lot more to do with setting yourself up for you mid 20's and the rest of your life when you can have all the time remaining to worry about silly girls.

gawd I hope so would serve you right for rejecting the nice guy

 

no my point was more that the age of 21 should have a lot more to do with setting yourself up for you mid 20's and the rest of your life when you can have all the time remaining to worry about silly girls.

I know your point. I never rejected the nice guy. Dude, the bad guy had a nice guy costume.

I know your point. I never rejected the nice guy. Dude, the bad guy had a nice guy costume.

No he didn't you just saw him the way that you wanted to.

its alright, most girls I meet make me feel grossly inadequate