Should I trust HER attorney to handle everything??

surfjon · 02-20-2008, 03:16 PM

Hi all,
Been posting here a while. It's getting down to the real thing now.
We've been split up 6 months now out of a 20 year marriage.

A few weeks ago she handed me a bunch of financial disclosure forms and stated that she had an attorney and that he "could handle everything" should we both agree on the divisions.

We both own a house, she owns a large business which she started with her family about 4 years ago. We both have our names on 5 acres of North Carolina land which we own with my dad and stepmom. We have life insurance policies and I have a 401k.

I have always paid all the mortgage/power/etc. She takes a very small salary and reinvests the profits in the business. She owns the business with her mom and sister as well. Her company pays for her car and our kids insurance.

My question is, my "gut feeling" is that I should at least have my own attorney to consult......... I shouldn't try to go thru this on my own should I??

She's getting a bit more adversarial as of late, dragging up things her oh-so wonderful family did to help us buy our house, pointing out how they've contributed to the kids savings accounts........which I truly appreciate, but her mom and grandfather are millionaires. I was busy paying the mortgages, power, etc.............nobody saved for me, my mom struggles to buy propane to heat her house and my dad gets off no monie unless I pay him back interest, my family has not helped, is that my fault??

Would I be a fool to let her attorney handle everything?? I want to be very fair, she deserves that but I mean, if it's HER attorney, he's not looking out for any of my interests is he??

Any advice is appreciated........................

metrogirl · 02-20-2008, 03:22 PM

I would definately consult with an attorney. She may have had her attorney write out a very crafty clever division that leaves you with little to nothing. You need to make sure that you are not hoodwinked and you get your fair share of the assets.

RayKay · 02-20-2008, 03:25 PM

No, no, no.

Always have your own attorney review everything. Even when making pre-nups where you are both supposed to be "happily" doing it and not have motive....you are supposed to have your own lawyer (and an ethical lawyer won't act for you both).

Hers will not be looking out for your interests, you don't have the legal knowledge to know what is going on, she has shown to be adversarial & I doubt her lawyer has considered the circumstances and what YOU put into it (particularly as they are only hearing HER side of the story).

No WAY would I agree to this would going over it with MY lawyer.

**BellaDonna** · 02-20-2008, 03:25 PM

Quote:

My question is, my "gut feeling" is that I should at least have my own attorney to consult......... I shouldn't try to go thru this on my own should I??

Follow your gut.

If I were you I would definitely get your own attorney. If you don't look out for yourself no one else will.

Timebandit · 02-20-2008, 03:26 PM

"Should I trust HER attorney to handle everything??"

No

DN · 02-20-2008, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RayKay

No, no, no.

Always have your own attorney review everything. Even when making pre-nups where you are both supposed to be "happily" doing it and not have motive....you are supposed to have your own lawyer (and an ethical lawyer won't act for you both).

Hers will not be looking out for your interests, you don't have the legal knowledge to know what is going on, she has shown to be adversarial & I doubt her lawyer has considered the circumstances and what YOU put into it (particularly as they are only hearing HER side of the story).

No WAY would I agree to this would going over it with MY lawyer.

I agree with this. Her lawyer is paid to look after her interests not yours.

owmart · 02-20-2008, 03:35 PM

One thing i found out about my stbx, she is an evil selfish and vindictive woman who only cares about what she wants. I would advise you to get your own attorney. Maybe i'm just bitter, but i wouldnt trust someone who would drag me though court for a divorce...

BeStrongBeHappy · 02-20-2008, 03:39 PM

Nope. If nothing else, get an attorney to review absolutely everything before you sign it.

Aday5578 · 02-20-2008, 03:43 PM

In my opinion, I would go with my gut BUT if you totally trust that she would not screw you then why not. In my divorce my ex-husband let my attorney handle everything and everything came out fine. I didnt screw him, it was not a bad break up. We split everything 50/50 BUT i did tell him if he wanted he could have sombody look over the paperwork. But in the end he said he trusted me..BUT we have total trust in one another...too bad the marriage didnt work but in the end we are still friends, the best of friends. Just couldnt be married.

russ978 · 02-20-2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfjon

Hi all,
Been posting here a while. It's getting down to the real thing now.
We've been split up 6 months now out of a 20 year marriage.
My question is, my "gut feeling" is that I should at least have my own attorney to consult......... I shouldn't try to go thru this on my own should I??

NEVER ENTER INTO AN IMPORTANT AGREEMENT WITHOUT HAVING YOUR OWN ATTORNEY REVIEW THE PAPERWORK.

Especially when buying a house and ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY if getting divorced.

Don't let her lawyer handle it. Get your own lawyer.

Get your own lawyer and don't let her lawyer handle it.

Don't try to save money by trying to interpret all the documents on your own.

Don't sign anything relating to your divorce without your attorney present.

Get your own lawyer.

There is no alternative that will lead you down a better path but all other paths will lead to a less than ideal settlement.

02-20-2008, 03:16 PM	#1
surfjon Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Palm Beach County, Fla. Gender: Male Posts: 560	Should I trust HER attorney to handle everything?? Hi all, Been posting here a while. It's getting down to the real thing now. We've been split up 6 months now out of a 20 year marriage. A few weeks ago she handed me a bunch of financial disclosure forms and stated that she had an attorney and that he "could handle everything" should we both agree on the divisions. We both own a house, she owns a large business which she started with her family about 4 years ago. We both have our names on 5 acres of North Carolina land which we own with my dad and stepmom. We have life insurance policies and I have a 401k. I have always paid all the mortgage/power/etc. She takes a very small salary and reinvests the profits in the business. She owns the business with her mom and sister as well. Her company pays for her car and our kids insurance. My question is, my "gut feeling" is that I should at least have my own attorney to consult......... I shouldn't try to go thru this on my own should I?? She's getting a bit more adversarial as of late, dragging up things her oh-so wonderful family did to help us buy our house, pointing out how they've contributed to the kids savings accounts........which I truly appreciate, but her mom and grandfather are millionaires. I was busy paying the mortgages, power, etc.............nobody saved for me, my mom struggles to buy propane to heat her house and my dad gets off no monie unless I pay him back interest, my family has not helped, is that my fault?? Would I be a fool to let her attorney handle everything?? I want to be very fair, she deserves that but I mean, if it's HER attorney, he's not looking out for any of my interests is he?? Any advice is appreciated........................ __________________ Shut up and play............. check out my music and let me know what you think!! www.myspace.com/jontgilbert

02-20-2008, 03:22 PM	#2
metrogirl Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SGV Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 4,688	I would definately consult with an attorney. She may have had her attorney write out a very crafty clever division that leaves you with little to nothing. You need to make sure that you are not hoodwinked and you get your fair share of the assets. __________________ Whether one believes in a religion or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. Dalai Lama Any hope I had for my Seahawks flew out the window when I heard Lofa Tatupu will be out for the rest of the season. (sighs) They call me Ghettro.......Well Scorpion Fury does anyway. LOL

02-20-2008, 03:25 PM	#3
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	No, no, no. Always have your own attorney review everything. Even when making pre-nups where you are both supposed to be "happily" doing it and not have motive....you are supposed to have your own lawyer (and an ethical lawyer won't act for you both). Hers will not be looking out for your interests, you don't have the legal knowledge to know what is going on, she has shown to be adversarial & I doubt her lawyer has considered the circumstances and what YOU put into it (particularly as they are only hearing HER side of the story). No WAY would I agree to this would going over it with MY lawyer. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

02-20-2008, 03:35 PM	#7
owmart Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Gender: Male Posts: 22	Hell No! One thing i found out about my stbx, she is an evil selfish and vindictive woman who only cares about what she wants. I would advise you to get your own attorney. Maybe i'm just bitter, but i wouldnt trust someone who would drag me though court for a divorce...

02-20-2008, 03:43 PM	#9
Aday5578 Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: The Big Easy Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 181	In my opinion, I would go with my gut BUT if you totally trust that she would not screw you then why not. In my divorce my ex-husband let my attorney handle everything and everything came out fine. I didnt screw him, it was not a bad break up. We split everything 50/50 BUT i did tell him if he wanted he could have sombody look over the paperwork. But in the end he said he trusted me..BUT we have total trust in one another...too bad the marriage didnt work but in the end we are still friends, the best of friends. Just couldnt be married. __________________ ~ Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly ~

02-20-2008, 03:26 PM	#5
Timebandit Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 1,120	"Should I trust HER attorney to handle everything??" No

02-20-2008, 03:39 PM	#8
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,413	Nope. If nothing else, get an attorney to review absolutely everything before you sign it.