No self-confidence

misspiggyfire · 02-15-2008, 10:57 AM

Recently I have moved over 300 miles away to be with my partner and left my job and my family and friends. It has been 4 months and I still don't have a job, the thought of getting on scares the hell out of me. Even just making a simple phone call about a job sends me into tears. I have noticed even little stuff makes me panic like going to the local shop or even asking for a drink at the bar when I go out, I always make my partner do it. I use to be such a confident person and knew who I was but now I hate the person I am becoming moody and go off over the smallest thing. I need to get my confidence back and get myself out there to get a job and I was wondering if anyone has any advice or where I should even start in getting myself back to how I use to be.

Thanks in advance.

bulletproof · 02-15-2008, 11:11 AM

I have just moved 700 miles away, by myself, to a place where I don't know anyone. I have not found a job yet and it has been about a month and a half. I have nobody to support me financially, so I'm depending entirely on savings. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself or I don't want to apply to yet another job that might reject me, I have to stop and think: There are people that move to entirely different countries and have to deal with things like culture shock and learning different languages, with no option of just hopping in the car to go home for a visit. Some people have to move with their kids, which complicates things, or with no money saved. I have it pretty easy, all things considered. So do you. You are only 300 miles away from your home. Go for a visit if that will help you get it together, but after that, you have to force yourself to take the steps that will make you feel more comfortable there. Make a deal with yourself that you have to apply to one job a day, at least. Do it first thing in the day and then it's done. Things will get better but you have to work at it.

richmonder80 · 02-15-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misspiggyfire

Recently I have moved over 300 miles away to be with my partner and left my job and my family and friends. It has been 4 months and I still don't have a job, the thought of getting on scares the hell out of me. Even just making a simple phone call about a job sends me into tears. I have noticed even little stuff makes me panic like going to the local shop or even asking for a drink at the bar when I go out, I always make my partner do it. I use to be such a confident person and knew who I was but now I hate the person I am becoming moody and go off over the smallest thing. I need to get my confidence back and get myself out there to get a job and I was wondering if anyone has any advice or where I should even start in getting myself back to how I use to be.

Thanks in advance.

You better change your attitude because your partner is going to get sick of your insecurities and dump you. Why don't you get a part time job in the mean time? Do something at least to be around people and to interact.

tylercdurden2004 · 02-15-2008, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misspiggyfire

Recently I have moved over 300 miles away to be with my partner and left my job and my family and friends. It has been 4 months and I still don't have a job, the thought of getting on scares the hell out of me. Even just making a simple phone call about a job sends me into tears. I have noticed even little stuff makes me panic like going to the local shop or even asking for a drink at the bar when I go out, I always make my partner do it. I use to be such a confident person and knew who I was but now I hate the person I am becoming moody and go off over the smallest thing. I need to get my confidence back and get myself out there to get a job and I was wondering if anyone has any advice or where I should even start in getting myself back to how I use to be.

Thanks in advance.

Your partner is feeding into this. You are reaching to him because its easy. He obliges. But it doesnt really stretch you to change does it?

I have realized this very dynamic with one of my exes.

Why not sit done with him and make a pact together. To challenge yourself.

02-15-2008, 10:57 AM	#1
misspiggyfire Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 78	No self-confidence Recently I have moved over 300 miles away to be with my partner and left my job and my family and friends. It has been 4 months and I still don't have a job, the thought of getting on scares the hell out of me. Even just making a simple phone call about a job sends me into tears. I have noticed even little stuff makes me panic like going to the local shop or even asking for a drink at the bar when I go out, I always make my partner do it. I use to be such a confident person and knew who I was but now I hate the person I am becoming moody and go off over the smallest thing. I need to get my confidence back and get myself out there to get a job and I was wondering if anyone has any advice or where I should even start in getting myself back to how I use to be. Thanks in advance.

02-15-2008, 11:11 AM	#2
bulletproof Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,027	I have just moved 700 miles away, by myself, to a place where I don't know anyone. I have not found a job yet and it has been about a month and a half. I have nobody to support me financially, so I'm depending entirely on savings. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself or I don't want to apply to yet another job that might reject me, I have to stop and think: There are people that move to entirely different countries and have to deal with things like culture shock and learning different languages, with no option of just hopping in the car to go home for a visit. Some people have to move with their kids, which complicates things, or with no money saved. I have it pretty easy, all things considered. So do you. You are only 300 miles away from your home. Go for a visit if that will help you get it together, but after that, you have to force yourself to take the steps that will make you feel more comfortable there. Make a deal with yourself that you have to apply to one job a day, at least. Do it first thing in the day and then it's done. Things will get better but you have to work at it.