Helping a cheater??

ghost69 · 02-01-2008, 05:18 PM

my buddy wants me to go out and be his wingman this weekend. he's a good looking guy, i've seen some of the girls he's gotten with too. not bad.

but he contacted me and wants me to go out. i really had no plans but to work out and watch the super bowl. pretty basic weekend.

anyways, he met this girl somewhere. i said wow, she sounds great. i said what about *snowball*, thought you were getting back together? he said we are but this chick is hot. don't worry i'm going to give him crap about this and explain how i feel about it. i absolutely hate this to be honest. but this is on his head right? not mine? it's just like if two bros were going out for some drinks and met some girls and he cheated. i'm really not contributing.

i'm just really bummed by his behavior. i didn't think he was like this. i don't know his current gf for crap, met her once. she seems really nice. but isn't this jerky? dam im mad at him right now.

**lady00** · 02-01-2008, 05:21 PM

Yep, it's jerky. But I'm of the opinion that if a friend doesn't ask for my advice, I won't give it, when it comes to relationships. It can ruin a friendship. It stinks, but you're not responsible for his behavior. He's an adult and since you're not his parent, you're not in a position to give him moral guidance on this once. Unless you're encouraging him to cheat or pushing some girl at him then you're not doing anything wrong...and unless he solicits your advice, it's probably a good idea not to give it. However, if he asks, then no problem...let him know tactfully that you don't think it's right. Just my 2 cents.

Kiwi_Sweet · 02-01-2008, 05:27 PM

Go out and enjoy yourself. Let him worry about his own mess. He has to lay in it, not you.=)

ghost69 · 02-01-2008, 05:27 PM

that's the thing. i don't condone this at all. the other thing he said is to pump him up to make him look good. like tell her how cool he is and such. i'm like ehhhh. i don't think i'm going to do that. i will go since she is supposedly gonna bring a friend. i hope he isn't mad when i leave with both of them though. lol

i understand this is something he needs to work on. i don't want to put him down or make him feel bad, i've know this guy forever. but you know, sometimes you can't really get into too deep with a friend unless they ask. just sucks. i guess i have to chalk it up as 'F'.

DN · 02-01-2008, 05:28 PM

Anyone who aids a criminal commit a crime, even by ignoring it, is a party to the crime. See 'misprision of a felony'. Rarely used now but still on the books.

Same principle here. Ethically and morally, you would be wrong to help him cheat.

Dako · 02-01-2008, 05:28 PM

Why do you ask?
Second thoughts?

If I were you, I'd feign interest in that beautiful snowball and grin.

JeckyllNHyde · 02-01-2008, 05:30 PM

wow ghost. from your posts seems like this stuff wouldn't bother you one bit (since you admitted to being a "player" in your younger days). but it's cool to see it does a bit.

i agree. he is a jerk. why try and get back with someone and then cheat or go with another chik b/c she is simple "hot"? then just be single and make no commitments!
i would say how i feel but guys like these, they don't learn until they find a girl who screws them over and does the same to them. then they want to label her all kinds of "not nice" names lol.

ghost69 · 02-01-2008, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

Anyone who aids a criminal commit a crime, even by ignoring it, is a party to the crime. See 'misprision of a felony'. Rarely used now but still on the books.

Same principle here. Ethically and morally, you would be wrong to help him cheat.

that's a bit extreme don't you think?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dako

Why do you ask?
Second thoughts?

no, i'm going. i just hate whats going on.

DN · 02-01-2008, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghost69

that's a bit extreme don't you think?

Well, I am not saying you are commiting a felony.

However, the principle is the same. You obviously don't approve of what he is planning but are planning to help him do it.

But it's your conscience.

Kiwi_Sweet · 02-01-2008, 05:33 PM

Go out...Just because you are out with him, doesn't mean that you are helping him commit a "crime"...lol

Go out and have fun!!

Let him worry about his own life...

If you go lecturing him about what he needs to do, then it could push him away.

Trust me I'm sure he already knows what's ethically right and wrong. He's just choosing to be a butt. In the end, he'll be single anyway...

02-01-2008, 05:18 PM	#1
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,424	Helping a cheater?? my buddy wants me to go out and be his wingman this weekend. he's a good looking guy, i've seen some of the girls he's gotten with too. not bad. but he contacted me and wants me to go out. i really had no plans but to work out and watch the super bowl. pretty basic weekend. anyways, he met this girl somewhere. i said wow, she sounds great. i said what about snowball, thought you were getting back together? he said we are but this chick is hot. don't worry i'm going to give him crap about this and explain how i feel about it. i absolutely hate this to be honest. but this is on his head right? not mine? it's just like if two bros were going out for some drinks and met some girls and he cheated. i'm really not contributing. i'm just really bummed by his behavior. i didn't think he was like this. i don't know his current gf for crap, met her once. she seems really nice. but isn't this jerky? dam im mad at him right now. __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

02-01-2008, 05:21 PM	#2
lady00 Online Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 7,869	Yep, it's jerky. But I'm of the opinion that if a friend doesn't ask for my advice, I won't give it, when it comes to relationships. It can ruin a friendship. It stinks, but you're not responsible for his behavior. He's an adult and since you're not his parent, you're not in a position to give him moral guidance on this once. Unless you're encouraging him to cheat or pushing some girl at him then you're not doing anything wrong...and unless he solicits your advice, it's probably a good idea not to give it. However, if he asks, then no problem...let him know tactfully that you don't think it's right. Just my 2 cents. Last edited by lady00; 02-01-2008 at 05:23 PM.

02-01-2008, 05:27 PM	#4
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,424	that's the thing. i don't condone this at all. the other thing he said is to pump him up to make him look good. like tell her how cool he is and such. i'm like ehhhh. i don't think i'm going to do that. i will go since she is supposedly gonna bring a friend. i hope he isn't mad when i leave with both of them though. lol i understand this is something he needs to work on. i don't want to put him down or make him feel bad, i've know this guy forever. but you know, sometimes you can't really get into too deep with a friend unless they ask. just sucks. i guess i have to chalk it up as 'F'. __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

02-01-2008, 05:28 PM	#5
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	Anyone who aids a criminal commit a crime, even by ignoring it, is a party to the crime. See 'misprision of a felony'. Rarely used now but still on the books. Same principle here. Ethically and morally, you would be wrong to help him cheat. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

02-01-2008, 05:28 PM	#6
Dako Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 9,113	Why do you ask? Second thoughts? If I were you, I'd feign interest in that beautiful snowball and grin. Last edited by Dako; 02-01-2008 at 05:30 PM.

02-01-2008, 05:27 PM	#3
Kiwi_Sweet Offline Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 989	Go out and enjoy yourself. Let him worry about his own mess. He has to lay in it, not you.=)

02-01-2008, 05:30 PM	#7
JeckyllNHyde Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 5,194	wow ghost. from your posts seems like this stuff wouldn't bother you one bit (since you admitted to being a "player" in your younger days). but it's cool to see it does a bit. i agree. he is a jerk. why try and get back with someone and then cheat or go with another chik b/c she is simple "hot"? then just be single and make no commitments! i would say how i feel but guys like these, they don't learn until they find a girl who screws them over and does the same to them. then they want to label her all kinds of "not nice" names lol. __________________ You're just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off of you...

02-01-2008, 05:33 PM	#10
Kiwi_Sweet Offline Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 989	Go out...Just because you are out with him, doesn't mean that you are helping him commit a "crime"...lol Go out and have fun!! Let him worry about his own life... If you go lecturing him about what he needs to do, then it could push him away. Trust me I'm sure he already knows what's ethically right and wrong. He's just choosing to be a butt. In the end, he'll be single anyway...