Social Anxiety Disorder ?

whitefang · 01-19-2008, 04:00 PM

I have noticed that i feel very uncomfortable in social situations whether out with friends or work colleagues. I don't know the reason for this, i feel a little anti-social at times, although i try and go out and have fun, 9 times out of 10 im not. As a person i very much prefer my own company, i know this isn't good as socializing is important but an accident with my younger brother caused me to not socialize as much as i should have during my teens ...

Does this sound like a Social Anxiety Disorder of some sort ? im just getting very annoyed with myself at times over this, as i should be out having fun, drinking and socializing, at 23 it's just not right me being inside, afraid to some extent of enjoying myself.

Can anyone offer some advice on my issue, if possible ?

- whitefang

Raiden · 01-19-2008, 04:16 PM

I've lived with the same thing for years. I've been completely housebound before now. It come and goes, sometimes it's worse than others.

It's tough.

My advice to you, if anything, would be to speak to a counselor, therapist, psychiatrist or even your GP if you haven't already done so. After hearing you story, he/she can at least determine what the best course of action is.

whitefang · 01-19-2008, 04:40 PM

Thanks for the advice, i have spoken to my GP about it about 3 years ago but i found it hard opening up, but after a couple of sessions the person i was talking with was leaving and then i'd had to be put on another waiting list for this other person too see me and to be honest if had to wait again too see someone then there was no point.

I don't open up to anyone is the unfortunate thing, only because i have no-one really i can do that with, my best friends have all moved away and people i do know are more like friendly aquaintences or so i feel they are, opening up and relaxing seems to be a very hard thing for me to do. When people do ask me out to do something i always end up making lame excuses e.g. no money, no transport or not feeling good etc and i shouldnt really be doing this, but it's almost now become such a habit that some don't even ask me anyone.

This is really bringing me down, in work i can deal with that and the pressures of dealing with customers, probably because i wont see them again or if i do its a very brief encounter but anything outside of my comfort zone sends me into a "hermit-crab" type person, if that makes any sense.

Raiden · 01-19-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitefang

Thanks for the advice, i have spoken to my GP about it about 3 years ago but i found it hard opening up, but after a couple of sessions the person i was talking with was leaving and then i'd had to be put on another waiting list for this other person too see me and to be honest if had to wait again too see someone then there was no point.

I don't open up to anyone is the unfortunate thing, only because i have no-one really i can do that with, my best friends have all moved away and people i do know are more like friendly aquaintences or so i feel they are, opening up and relaxing seems to be a very hard thing for me to do. When people do ask me out to do something i always end up making lame excuses e.g. no money, no transport or not feeling good etc and i shouldnt really be doing this, but it's almost now become such a habit that some don't even ask me anyone.

This is really bringing me down, in work i can deal with that and the pressures of dealing with customers, probably because i wont see them again or if i do its a very brief encounter but anything outside of my comfort zone sends me into a "hermit-crab" type person, if that makes any sense.

Sometimes, talking about and lamenting over your problems makes you feel worse. Maybe that's what you're experiencing.

If that's the case, you need a mental diversion. Take up a new hobby, learn something new. It's important to keep your brain active, no doubt you know this.

Also, don't put pressure on yourself. The worst thing you can do is think to yourself "I should be doing this, I should be somewhere else, I should have more friends...." and so on.

It's good to hear that you're employed, by the way. At least you've got a regular source of income. Stay at it, and hang in there.

**greensleeves** · 01-19-2008, 04:57 PM

It's great that you enjoy your own company, alot of people can't stand to be alone, so this is a really good thing. But you also want more and really...you should want more. I tend to go through periods when I'm feeling anti-social as well and I sometimes have to literally force myself to get out there, but I'm alot older and a single parent with a couple of kids so in my case it might be sheer exhaustion...I don't know. But at 23, I don't think that it's a great way for you to be living. Raiden has given you good advice and it sounds like it's coming from someone who's been there. Therapy could be a big help...you don't give the details of your brother's accident, maybe the way you're feeling has something to do with that. Whether through cognitive therapy or medication it would be very wise for you to get a handle on this before it gets worse for you.

love4life · 01-19-2008, 05:00 PM

Balance is good. I'm more of an introvert and will often prefer my own company to someone else's. I've learned, though, to be more outgoing. It just depends on my mood if I CHOOSE to be outgoing or not.

itsallgrand · 01-19-2008, 05:12 PM

Regarding your post, you could have been me posting at that age. Even regarding the teen years, I too missed out on a lot of socializing experiences due to an accident with a younger brother.

Sort of odd seeing your post. Brings up a lot of memories. And at 23, it had yet to click in me that a lot of the things I was doing were worthy of change. Instead, I swung more to the extreme in my actions (anti-social for a while, relentlessly social without any healthy breaks). Etc.

Anyhow. I am a little bit older now and have gone through a lot of the things proposed here for you.

It would be really, really, really, did I mention REALLY ?

great for you to seek out a good GP - a doctor you can trust and rely upon and go to with your concerns.

The first thing is to find someone reliable who you feel you can talk to about your health. Taking care of yourself needs to become your top priority for now.

The GP, or whatever doctor equivalent in the UK, can be your hub.

You can then find a good therapist or psychiatrist or psychologist (whoever is best suited to your needs!) through your doctor - or simply have the two on a team for you. So it is good if you can find a doctor who is on board for be active in being in the loop with your therapist/whoever.

This is the start of a support team. And you will build on to it. With trusted family. With friends. With people who are important to you.

Nip it in the bud now. Please trust me on this. The world is waiting for you out there. And you will love it once you start.

It's nice to meet you, whitefang.

01-19-2008, 04:00 PM	#1
whitefang Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 695	Social Anxiety Disorder ? I have noticed that i feel very uncomfortable in social situations whether out with friends or work colleagues. I don't know the reason for this, i feel a little anti-social at times, although i try and go out and have fun, 9 times out of 10 im not. As a person i very much prefer my own company, i know this isn't good as socializing is important but an accident with my younger brother caused me to not socialize as much as i should have during my teens ... Does this sound like a Social Anxiety Disorder of some sort ? im just getting very annoyed with myself at times over this, as i should be out having fun, drinking and socializing, at 23 it's just not right me being inside, afraid to some extent of enjoying myself. Can anyone offer some advice on my issue, if possible ? - whitefang

01-19-2008, 05:00 PM	#6
love4life Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Arlington, VA Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 1,683	Balance is good. I'm more of an introvert and will often prefer my own company to someone else's. I've learned, though, to be more outgoing. It just depends on my mood if I CHOOSE to be outgoing or not. __________________ "Don't jump FROM something; jump TO something."

01-19-2008, 05:12 PM	#7
itsallgrand Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: following my grace... Gender: None Specified Posts: 6,783	Regarding your post, you could have been me posting at that age. Even regarding the teen years, I too missed out on a lot of socializing experiences due to an accident with a younger brother. Sort of odd seeing your post. Brings up a lot of memories. And at 23, it had yet to click in me that a lot of the things I was doing were worthy of change. Instead, I swung more to the extreme in my actions (anti-social for a while, relentlessly social without any healthy breaks). Etc. Anyhow. I am a little bit older now and have gone through a lot of the things proposed here for you. It would be really, really, really, did I mention REALLY ? great for you to seek out a good GP - a doctor you can trust and rely upon and go to with your concerns. The first thing is to find someone reliable who you feel you can talk to about your health. Taking care of yourself needs to become your top priority for now. The GP, or whatever doctor equivalent in the UK, can be your hub. You can then find a good therapist or psychiatrist or psychologist (whoever is best suited to your needs!) through your doctor - or simply have the two on a team for you. So it is good if you can find a doctor who is on board for be active in being in the loop with your therapist/whoever. This is the start of a support team. And you will build on to it. With trusted family. With friends. With people who are important to you. Nip it in the bud now. Please trust me on this. The world is waiting for you out there. And you will love it once you start. It's nice to meet you, whitefang. __________________ "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Mal Pancoast

01-19-2008, 04:16 PM	#2
Raiden Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,183	I've lived with the same thing for years. I've been completely housebound before now. It come and goes, sometimes it's worse than others. It's tough. My advice to you, if anything, would be to speak to a counselor, therapist, psychiatrist or even your GP if you haven't already done so. After hearing you story, he/she can at least determine what the best course of action is.

01-19-2008, 04:40 PM	#3
whitefang Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 695	Thanks for the advice, i have spoken to my GP about it about 3 years ago but i found it hard opening up, but after a couple of sessions the person i was talking with was leaving and then i'd had to be put on another waiting list for this other person too see me and to be honest if had to wait again too see someone then there was no point. I don't open up to anyone is the unfortunate thing, only because i have no-one really i can do that with, my best friends have all moved away and people i do know are more like friendly aquaintences or so i feel they are, opening up and relaxing seems to be a very hard thing for me to do. When people do ask me out to do something i always end up making lame excuses e.g. no money, no transport or not feeling good etc and i shouldnt really be doing this, but it's almost now become such a habit that some don't even ask me anyone. This is really bringing me down, in work i can deal with that and the pressures of dealing with customers, probably because i wont see them again or if i do its a very brief encounter but anything outside of my comfort zone sends me into a "hermit-crab" type person, if that makes any sense.

01-19-2008, 04:57 PM	#5
greensleeves Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 2,941	It's great that you enjoy your own company, alot of people can't stand to be alone, so this is a really good thing. But you also want more and really...you should want more. I tend to go through periods when I'm feeling anti-social as well and I sometimes have to literally force myself to get out there, but I'm alot older and a single parent with a couple of kids so in my case it might be sheer exhaustion...I don't know. But at 23, I don't think that it's a great way for you to be living. Raiden has given you good advice and it sounds like it's coming from someone who's been there. Therapy could be a big help...you don't give the details of your brother's accident, maybe the way you're feeling has something to do with that. Whether through cognitive therapy or medication it would be very wise for you to get a handle on this before it gets worse for you.