UGH :( Christmas Eve is Tomorrow

that.girl · 12-23-2007, 11:57 AM

I loathe christmas eve. . .and have for many years now. Please don't get me wrong, I love setting out the cookies with the kids and then sneaking back to eat them, and placing some bells from the reindeer by the fireplace, and writing a thank you note from santa. . .but before all that happens, I have to be berated by my dad's side of the family. My aunt is a real something foul. She always tells my little sister (who is 10 and small for her age) "gee you sure are getting fat. What have you been eating?" and on thanksgiving she told her "Im not getting you a christmas present because you dont visit enough" and samantha (my lil sis) always comes home crying. Well I have been boycotting the holidays with that side of the family since my aunt came down. I usually go long enough to spend some time with my elderly grandma
(87), but I get out of there in enough time to prevent cussing my aunt out. Well this year has gone too far, Samantha cried for HOURS when she came home from thanksgiving and apparently this was largely due to my aunt talking bad about my mother. I am going tomorrow to keep an eye on Samantha and because she refuses to stand up for herself, I will do it for her. My father would NEVER say anything to his sister about her behavior because he's a panty-wearing wimp. . .I have to do everything around here. I wish there wasn't a Christmas Eve. . .

**annie24** · 12-23-2007, 12:03 PM

have you talked to your aunt about the hurtful things she is saying? they are not helpful at all. besides, many children simply hit a growth spurt, then the weight gets evenly distributed. and talk to samantha and tell her that her aunt is just behaving like a witch.

cc2006 · 12-23-2007, 12:40 PM

You definitely wanna' talk to your sister and let her know that some people in life are just .. well .. jerks (family not immune to being so) and she needs to learn to ignore and/or avoid your Aunt.

It is hard ... I'm not a huge fan of the Holidays either, and part of it is family-related. Some family members are just never going to 'play nice'.

You're a good sister to be concerned though ... I've known girls that had experiences like that at a young age and then grew up to obsess over it, developing eating disorders (my ex being one of them) or it effecting their moods. Kids are fragile, emotionally, and it isn't right to be made that upset.

I mean .. crap .. look at you! You despise a day that should be happy and a fun family day because of it. Is that fair? Ten years from now you could end up still disliking the Holidays because of this ... it could taint it for you .. for years to come.

Anyway ... I think you may need to be tactful and not confront your Aunt negatively. You can try speaking to her nicely about it ... maybe she just doesn't know it is actually upsetting your sister?

It can be awkward ... and some family won't alter their behavior. I have family members that no matter how much they're pulled aside and told "Look, could you please stop being so negative toward _____, it is upsetting him/her" and they'll still keep it up. Those people just need to be ignored and avoided. .. but maybe you'll get lucky and she'll have some kinda' epiphany and stop being so ... mean.

that.girl · 12-23-2007, 02:05 PM

I have talked to my aunt about her behavior (tactfully) and usually she seems intimidated by me because no one else speaks up to her. I have been known to show some sarcasm now and then but usually its just in conversation. Beleive me, I have told Samantha many times that some people are just like that, and I have informed my father that when our grandmother passes, we will no longer be going. It isn't fair to anyone emotionally to go through that and to top it off, Samantha's birthday is Christmas Eve. . .today my dad came to pick her up and she was crying her eyes out before she got out the door. Poor baby...She has to go, and I have explained to her that we just have to go for Grandma. . .O and last year samantha did a little painting for my aunt and when she opened it, she said *loudly* "look at this peice of junk, what am I supposed to do with this?" and for her birthday, Samantha painted her a piggy bank and my aunt commented "if its empty what good is it?" I sometimes just want to slap her. . .but I grit my teeth and come here to complain instead lol

bulletproof · 12-24-2007, 01:14 AM

Are there a lot of people attending this xmas eve event? If I were you I would go and try to set an example for Samantha by being polite, keeping it together, and avoiding your aunt as much as possible. Leave the room if she's in it. Avoid conversation with her apart from pleasantries. Talk to Samantha and the other people there exclusively. She doesn't have to mean anything to you or upset you.

buckdawg · 12-24-2007, 01:18 AM

that.girl,
too bad your dad doesn't have the stones you do and your sister is very lucky to have you around. your aunt seems like a very bitter person and that's sad.

12-23-2007, 11:57 AM	#1
that.girl Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Eastern NC Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 130	UGH :( Christmas Eve is Tomorrow I loathe christmas eve. . .and have for many years now. Please don't get me wrong, I love setting out the cookies with the kids and then sneaking back to eat them, and placing some bells from the reindeer by the fireplace, and writing a thank you note from santa. . .but before all that happens, I have to be berated by my dad's side of the family. My aunt is a real something foul. She always tells my little sister (who is 10 and small for her age) "gee you sure are getting fat. What have you been eating?" and on thanksgiving she told her "Im not getting you a christmas present because you dont visit enough" and samantha (my lil sis) always comes home crying. Well I have been boycotting the holidays with that side of the family since my aunt came down. I usually go long enough to spend some time with my elderly grandma (87), but I get out of there in enough time to prevent cussing my aunt out. Well this year has gone too far, Samantha cried for HOURS when she came home from thanksgiving and apparently this was largely due to my aunt talking bad about my mother. I am going tomorrow to keep an eye on Samantha and because she refuses to stand up for herself, I will do it for her. My father would NEVER say anything to his sister about her behavior because he's a panty-wearing wimp. . .I have to do everything around here. I wish there wasn't a Christmas Eve. . . __________________ Being convinced, I seek not to convince. E.A. Poe It is not worth an intelligent (wo)man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

12-23-2007, 02:05 PM	#4
that.girl Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Eastern NC Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 130	I have talked to my aunt about her behavior (tactfully) and usually she seems intimidated by me because no one else speaks up to her. I have been known to show some sarcasm now and then but usually its just in conversation. Beleive me, I have told Samantha many times that some people are just like that, and I have informed my father that when our grandmother passes, we will no longer be going. It isn't fair to anyone emotionally to go through that and to top it off, Samantha's birthday is Christmas Eve. . .today my dad came to pick her up and she was crying her eyes out before she got out the door. Poor baby...She has to go, and I have explained to her that we just have to go for Grandma. . .O and last year samantha did a little painting for my aunt and when she opened it, she said loudly "look at this peice of junk, what am I supposed to do with this?" and for her birthday, Samantha painted her a piggy bank and my aunt commented "if its empty what good is it?" I sometimes just want to slap her. . .but I grit my teeth and come here to complain instead lol __________________ Being convinced, I seek not to convince. E.A. Poe It is not worth an intelligent (wo)man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

12-24-2007, 01:18 AM	#6
buckdawg Offline Gold Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Central Ohio Gender: Male Age: 37 Posts: 928	that.girl, too bad your dad doesn't have the stones you do and your sister is very lucky to have you around. your aunt seems like a very bitter person and that's sad. __________________ To be desperate is to discover strength. We die of comfort and by conflict live.

12-23-2007, 12:03 PM	#2
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,812	have you talked to your aunt about the hurtful things she is saying? they are not helpful at all. besides, many children simply hit a growth spurt, then the weight gets evenly distributed. and talk to samantha and tell her that her aunt is just behaving like a witch.

12-23-2007, 12:40 PM	#3
cc2006 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 262	You definitely wanna' talk to your sister and let her know that some people in life are just .. well .. jerks (family not immune to being so) and she needs to learn to ignore and/or avoid your Aunt. It is hard ... I'm not a huge fan of the Holidays either, and part of it is family-related. Some family members are just never going to 'play nice'. You're a good sister to be concerned though ... I've known girls that had experiences like that at a young age and then grew up to obsess over it, developing eating disorders (my ex being one of them) or it effecting their moods. Kids are fragile, emotionally, and it isn't right to be made that upset. I mean .. crap .. look at you! You despise a day that should be happy and a fun family day because of it. Is that fair? Ten years from now you could end up still disliking the Holidays because of this ... it could taint it for you .. for years to come. Anyway ... I think you may need to be tactful and not confront your Aunt negatively. You can try speaking to her nicely about it ... maybe she just doesn't know it is actually upsetting your sister? It can be awkward ... and some family won't alter their behavior. I have family members that no matter how much they're pulled aside and told "Look, could you please stop being so negative toward _____, it is upsetting him/her" and they'll still keep it up. Those people just need to be ignored and avoided. .. but maybe you'll get lucky and she'll have some kinda' epiphany and stop being so ... mean.

12-24-2007, 01:14 AM	#5
bulletproof Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,027	Are there a lot of people attending this xmas eve event? If I were you I would go and try to set an example for Samantha by being polite, keeping it together, and avoiding your aunt as much as possible. Leave the room if she's in it. Avoid conversation with her apart from pleasantries. Talk to Samantha and the other people there exclusively. She doesn't have to mean anything to you or upset you.