husband let 3 yr old son hold real gun

bewilderment · 12-14-2007, 03:06 PM

I have written before about my husband and our problems as far as pretty much not agreeing on anything in our marraige, but I have just about had it with him when he purposely shows me a picture of our 3 year old son pointing a real gun.

"That looks like a real gun!" I said. Then, he tells me that it is not real and that my Dad took the picture. I said it looks real, therefore it is an immoral picture and to thow it out. He then says, "Why would I ever throw out a picture of my son?" I said, "Because we have a million other beautiful pictures of him not holding a weapon."

I called my father and he was completely embarrassed and apologetic that he took the picture and that it was in bad taste. Then, I asked him, "Is the gun real?" And he said, "Yes, I am so sorry."

I am mortified that my own father disrespected me by doing this behind my back and disgusted that my husband allowed it, showed it to me (almost laughing at me, knowing it bothers/hurts me), then lied to me that it was a toy gun.

Am I in the right to feel this way???? I can't believe I married this man.

jsx730 · 12-14-2007, 03:25 PM

Assuming the gun was not loaded, not all people are raised in a way that considers guns to be a bad thing.

As for the lying, he shouldn't have, but he may have been surprised by your reaction and lied about it to try and minimize the situation.

sddeaston · 12-14-2007, 03:26 PM

My first gun was given to me at 6 months, for christmas. I didn't shoot it until I was about three or so. It was a .22, but still very real.

Its not really that big of a deal, in my opinion, but different people were raised in different manors.

If he knew you would be so against it, I can see it being an issue. However, if I was your H in this situation, I would just not have shown you the picture. Would not change whether or not the picture would exist, though.

jsx730 · 12-14-2007, 03:29 PM

The way I look at it, if you Husband would have made a big deal about the gun, your son would be more likely to develop a curiosity about it, and look for it later on down the road when no one is around.

By giving it (unloaded I hope =X ) to yoru son, letting him play with it and see that it's really no big deal, he'll be less likely to go looking for it behind your back.

EQD · 12-14-2007, 03:32 PM

yeah i have to say that if the gun wasnt loaded then it wasnt a big deal.. BUT, that is only if they normally keep guns away and locked up at all times!
Until the child is old enough to learn gun responsibility he shouldnt ever be able to access a gun by himself (guns in corners of rooms or in closets that he can get to) BAD IDEAS.
My dad taught us about guns and gun safety when i was 10. Today i am a great markswoman and i have yet to accidentaly shoot myself.

Its the kids that don't know about guns are the ones that get hurt.

**Hope75** · 12-14-2007, 03:37 PM

Not the brightest idea.

Does your husband know how strongly you feel about guns?

Do you have guns in your house?

Gath · 12-14-2007, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bewilderment

I have written before about my husband and our problems as far as pretty much not agreeing on anything in our marraige, but I have just about had it with him when he purposely shows me a picture of our 3 year old son pointing a real gun.

"That looks like a real gun!" I said. Then, he tells me that it is not real and that my Dad took the picture. I said it looks real, therefore it is an immoral picture and to thow it out. He then says, "Why would I ever throw out a picture of my son?" I said, "Because we have a million other beautiful pictures of him not holding a weapon."

I called my father and he was completely embarrassed and apologetic that he took the picture and that it was in bad taste. Then, I asked him, "Is the gun real?" And he said, "Yes, I am so sorry."

I am mortified that my own father disrespected me by doing this behind my back and disgusted that my husband allowed it, showed it to me (almost laughing at me, knowing it bothers/hurts me), then lied to me that it was a toy gun.

Am I in the right to feel this way???? I can't believe I married this man.

On the one hand, I agree that they shouldn't do something that would make you feel this bad.

On the other hand, I feel that teaching children the truth about guns should be done as soon as they're old enough to comprehend it. Education is the only way to keep a child safe when there are guns in the house. i don't care where you lock it up or how, at some point, your children will get a hold of that gun. The only way to make sure they're safe is to know that they understand the dangers of a weapon, and are fully competent in its use.

My father started me with guns when I was 4. I've never shot anyone, and I never considered a real weapon to be a toy. My Father felt safe in the knowedge that not only could he keep weapons in the house for our protection, but he could tell me where to find them and know that I wasn't going to accidentally shoot one of my friends someday.

You're right to be unhappy that they disrepected your wishes, but I cannot stress enough the importance of educating your children about guns (which in this modern world they can find anywhere, hell we found a machete in our driveway once).

BeStrongBeHappy · 12-14-2007, 03:49 PM

for some people, guns are part of their lifestyle, but it is a bit irresponsible to let a very young child play with a real gun.

children under a certain age just do not understand the concept of death and serious injury, and it is common for kids to get into guns and injure their playmates if not themselves. it is not always a case of an accidiental shooting either, it is a case of the kid not really grasping death or the danger of the gun. how many kids are told don't touch that, and they still do? it is naive to think a child this young may NOT get into trouble if they get their hands on a gun or the means to load it with bullets when an adult is not present.

so i can understand your concern.

i do hope that you have a LOCKING gun cabinet with the key totally inaccessible to the child.

Gath · 12-14-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeStrongBeHappy

i do hope that you have a LOCKING gun cabinet with the key totally inaccessible to the child.

I gotta say, I don't think "tottally inaccessible to the child" is a realistic possibility. some of them are pretty damn sneaky lil rug rats. . .

Clementine orange · 12-14-2007, 03:59 PM

Whatever happened to 3 year olds playing with Barney dolls or giant lego or something.

Am I the only person who thinks there is something very wrong here?

Statistics: Phoenix, Arizona, 2004 - 77 accidental gun deaths for kids and teens.

I'd better log out before I go into a rant.

12-14-2007, 03:06 PM	#1
bewilderment Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 106	husband let 3 yr old son hold real gun I have written before about my husband and our problems as far as pretty much not agreeing on anything in our marraige, but I have just about had it with him when he purposely shows me a picture of our 3 year old son pointing a real gun. "That looks like a real gun!" I said. Then, he tells me that it is not real and that my Dad took the picture. I said it looks real, therefore it is an immoral picture and to thow it out. He then says, "Why would I ever throw out a picture of my son?" I said, "Because we have a million other beautiful pictures of him not holding a weapon." I called my father and he was completely embarrassed and apologetic that he took the picture and that it was in bad taste. Then, I asked him, "Is the gun real?" And he said, "Yes, I am so sorry." I am mortified that my own father disrespected me by doing this behind my back and disgusted that my husband allowed it, showed it to me (almost laughing at me, knowing it bothers/hurts me), then lied to me that it was a toy gun. Am I in the right to feel this way???? I can't believe I married this man.

12-14-2007, 03:32 PM	#5
EQD Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 5,979	yeah i have to say that if the gun wasnt loaded then it wasnt a big deal.. BUT, that is only if they normally keep guns away and locked up at all times! Until the child is old enough to learn gun responsibility he shouldnt ever be able to access a gun by himself (guns in corners of rooms or in closets that he can get to) BAD IDEAS. My dad taught us about guns and gun safety when i was 10. Today i am a great markswoman and i have yet to accidentaly shoot myself. Its the kids that don't know about guns are the ones that get hurt. __________________ http://sumitsays.com/2009/05/29/in-your-headlights/

12-14-2007, 03:37 PM	#6
Hope75 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: kitteh ville Gender: Female Age: 33 Posts: 12,512	Not the brightest idea. Does your husband know how strongly you feel about guns? Do you have guns in your house? __________________ Muffin cats need love too. Please refer to the forum rules before posting: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php Mama to a beautiful baby girl born 6-25-09. :)

12-14-2007, 03:25 PM	#2
jsx730 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 686	Assuming the gun was not loaded, not all people are raised in a way that considers guns to be a bad thing. As for the lying, he shouldn't have, but he may have been surprised by your reaction and lied about it to try and minimize the situation.

12-14-2007, 03:26 PM	#3
sddeaston Offline Join Date: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 412	My first gun was given to me at 6 months, for christmas. I didn't shoot it until I was about three or so. It was a .22, but still very real. Its not really that big of a deal, in my opinion, but different people were raised in different manors. If he knew you would be so against it, I can see it being an issue. However, if I was your H in this situation, I would just not have shown you the picture. Would not change whether or not the picture would exist, though.

12-14-2007, 03:29 PM	#4
jsx730 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 686	The way I look at it, if you Husband would have made a big deal about the gun, your son would be more likely to develop a curiosity about it, and look for it later on down the road when no one is around. By giving it (unloaded I hope =X ) to yoru son, letting him play with it and see that it's really no big deal, he'll be less likely to go looking for it behind your back.

12-14-2007, 03:49 PM	#8
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,417	for some people, guns are part of their lifestyle, but it is a bit irresponsible to let a very young child play with a real gun. children under a certain age just do not understand the concept of death and serious injury, and it is common for kids to get into guns and injure their playmates if not themselves. it is not always a case of an accidiental shooting either, it is a case of the kid not really grasping death or the danger of the gun. how many kids are told don't touch that, and they still do? it is naive to think a child this young may NOT get into trouble if they get their hands on a gun or the means to load it with bullets when an adult is not present. so i can understand your concern. i do hope that you have a LOCKING gun cabinet with the key totally inaccessible to the child.

12-14-2007, 03:59 PM	#10
Clementine orange Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: La Belle Province Gender: Male Posts: 3,665	Whatever happened to 3 year olds playing with Barney dolls or giant lego or something. Am I the only person who thinks there is something very wrong here? Statistics: Phoenix, Arizona, 2004 - 77 accidental gun deaths for kids and teens. I'd better log out before I go into a rant.