Never Impressed. Why?

robinhood · 12-12-2007, 05:37 PM

This is probably the longest message I have posted or will ever have posted in my life, mainly because I've kept in for so long. I'm 17, but it feels so long that I have to put up with my parents. Back in primary school, I sat exams that the average 1st/2nd year from secondary school would sit and still managed to get full marks, mainly in maths. Everything I didn't like (art, r.e., p.e. etc) I was still fairly decent at them i.e. achieving average grades.

Okay, they said that was primary school. They have an amazing point there, primary school was simple. I shouldn't be complacent because I was the best at my primary school. Now to high school. It couldn't have been better. I was never popular in school so I looked forward to going out with my friends into town or staying at home. As I progressed through the years, I found myself less attached to my family. I'm from Scotland so we did Highers in 5th year. I did what I loved back in primary school--sciences. I picked the 3 sciences, maths and english (compulsory).

To be honest, I only ever had to study for the latter subject. On one occasion, I asked my english teacher whether it was even possible for me to get an A in his subject, and he said yes, but I didn't believe him. Anyway, exams came and all of them went well apart from english. I got the results back sometime in June and discovered that I got 5As. Later on, I received a letter from the headmaster congratulating me because I was one of the few who achieved 5 A-band-1's.

There are 2 types of As. An A-band-2 is 70% to 84% in the exam whereas the band 1 is 85% and above. I was shocked at first but it wasn't that surprising. I'm not boasting or anything but high school was still a bit too simple. My dad just said well done. Even now, when I mention it to him, he just puts it off and says it's easy. I know of a friend who achieved 4Cs and his dad got him a dog and gave him money for every pass. It's ridiculous. There's more to come, sorry if it is so long. If you've read till now, please read on, I need someone to share my feelings with.

I virtually found out that my chemistry & maths exams were 98%, and my biology & physics were >90%, english I'm not too sure, but it was similar. I know that secondary school is simple in the face of adults but still, I thought I deserved some attention and encouragement. 6th came and I picked 3 Advanced Highers and 1 Higher (AH maths, chemistry, biology; crash higher computing), the maximum at my school. I even got a girlfriend during it because I was annoyed at my parents. I felt like failing all my exams and not apply for medicine at university.

I was being a bad person, I didn't even like her, I didn't tell my parents because they would literally go mad at me. But I still felt like failing so they wouldn't think it was automatic that I achieved maximum grades. My prelims came and I got AABB, the 2Bs being in biology and chemistry, that really struck me. I was embarrassed with these grades but my parents started saying how they knew it would happen. "the 5th year grades are going to your head" they would say.

I eventually broke up with my girlfriend and I had 5 months to make up for my mistakes. I entered the exams and passed them all with 4As, not all of them A-band-1s but I was happy enough because I met the medical school's condition and I was going to study medicine. Surprisingly, I wasn't even that happy. My dad just said that I wasn't great because I didn't get 4 A-band-1s but of course, he didn't realise I had a girlfriend who I met 5 times every week.

I wasn't stupid enough to tell my parents anyway...so that's nearly the end of my rant. I've got a younger brother who doesn't work and can't achieve decent grades. I hope he succeeds and so do my parents but it's different...my parents do not expect as much from him. He can get an A and my dad doesn't question whether it's an A-band-1 or what. If he gets a B then my parents might say something along the lines of "it's ok, try harder next time."

I don't even work that much and I still achieve maximum grades, I don't see why it won't impress them enough. I play chess at a very high level, I captained the team that won the Scottish Championships, me being on the top board. I play a lot of badminton and snooker, twice a week for both, and again to a high standard. I'm bilingual and in my GCSE language exam in 6th year, I was the only one that got 100%. I'm quite good looking, attracting quite a few girls, 5 girls have asked me out in the past 4 months.

I don't see why all these things don't seem to make a difference. This has been on my shoulders for years. I'm really tired, I'm now studying medicine and all they can say is "if you make it through medical school and become a brain surgeon, then you'll be successful". They don't force me to study, I love medicine but I don't understand why they don't realise that I am a bit special.

Oops, it was a really long message, sorry!!! please reply, what are my parents thinking?

Lana0120 · 12-12-2007, 06:45 PM

I think that they know you're brainy and they EXPECT you to do well, so it doesn't come as a surprise. It sounds like complacency on their part. However, when you don't do as well, it does come as a surprise, because they've been so used to the high standards, so you get the criticism. It doesn't mean that they don't realise that you're special - they just don't think you need the praise because you're going to do well anyway. It's a dumb attitude, but some parents are like that.

Also, if your brother isn't doing as well, they may be conscious of his feelings about your success and may feel that he needs the attention more than you do. At the end of the day though, what your parents think is irrelevant. I am sure they are proud of you even though they don't show it and they probably brag about you behind your back.

robinhood · 12-14-2007, 07:05 AM

But...but is that it?! It feels like they'll never be impressed, and I'm so far from succeeding.

Lana0120 · 12-14-2007, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by realyze

What you do, do for yourself.

Exactly. What you do should not be about impressing your parents or getting them to show visible signs of being impressed. Just do it for yourself, not for anybody else. Craving approval in this manner is only going to cause you great unhappiness.

12-12-2007, 05:37 PM	#1
robinhood Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Scotland Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 254	Never Impressed. Why? This is probably the longest message I have posted or will ever have posted in my life, mainly because I've kept in for so long. I'm 17, but it feels so long that I have to put up with my parents. Back in primary school, I sat exams that the average 1st/2nd year from secondary school would sit and still managed to get full marks, mainly in maths. Everything I didn't like (art, r.e., p.e. etc) I was still fairly decent at them i.e. achieving average grades. Okay, they said that was primary school. They have an amazing point there, primary school was simple. I shouldn't be complacent because I was the best at my primary school. Now to high school. It couldn't have been better. I was never popular in school so I looked forward to going out with my friends into town or staying at home. As I progressed through the years, I found myself less attached to my family. I'm from Scotland so we did Highers in 5th year. I did what I loved back in primary school--sciences. I picked the 3 sciences, maths and english (compulsory). To be honest, I only ever had to study for the latter subject. On one occasion, I asked my english teacher whether it was even possible for me to get an A in his subject, and he said yes, but I didn't believe him. Anyway, exams came and all of them went well apart from english. I got the results back sometime in June and discovered that I got 5As. Later on, I received a letter from the headmaster congratulating me because I was one of the few who achieved 5 A-band-1's. There are 2 types of As. An A-band-2 is 70% to 84% in the exam whereas the band 1 is 85% and above. I was shocked at first but it wasn't that surprising. I'm not boasting or anything but high school was still a bit too simple. My dad just said well done. Even now, when I mention it to him, he just puts it off and says it's easy. I know of a friend who achieved 4Cs and his dad got him a dog and gave him money for every pass. It's ridiculous. There's more to come, sorry if it is so long. If you've read till now, please read on, I need someone to share my feelings with. I virtually found out that my chemistry & maths exams were 98%, and my biology & physics were >90%, english I'm not too sure, but it was similar. I know that secondary school is simple in the face of adults but still, I thought I deserved some attention and encouragement. 6th came and I picked 3 Advanced Highers and 1 Higher (AH maths, chemistry, biology; crash higher computing), the maximum at my school. I even got a girlfriend during it because I was annoyed at my parents. I felt like failing all my exams and not apply for medicine at university. I was being a bad person, I didn't even like her, I didn't tell my parents because they would literally go mad at me. But I still felt like failing so they wouldn't think it was automatic that I achieved maximum grades. My prelims came and I got AABB, the 2Bs being in biology and chemistry, that really struck me. I was embarrassed with these grades but my parents started saying how they knew it would happen. "the 5th year grades are going to your head" they would say. I eventually broke up with my girlfriend and I had 5 months to make up for my mistakes. I entered the exams and passed them all with 4As, not all of them A-band-1s but I was happy enough because I met the medical school's condition and I was going to study medicine. Surprisingly, I wasn't even that happy. My dad just said that I wasn't great because I didn't get 4 A-band-1s but of course, he didn't realise I had a girlfriend who I met 5 times every week. I wasn't stupid enough to tell my parents anyway...so that's nearly the end of my rant. I've got a younger brother who doesn't work and can't achieve decent grades. I hope he succeeds and so do my parents but it's different...my parents do not expect as much from him. He can get an A and my dad doesn't question whether it's an A-band-1 or what. If he gets a B then my parents might say something along the lines of "it's ok, try harder next time." I don't even work that much and I still achieve maximum grades, I don't see why it won't impress them enough. I play chess at a very high level, I captained the team that won the Scottish Championships, me being on the top board. I play a lot of badminton and snooker, twice a week for both, and again to a high standard. I'm bilingual and in my GCSE language exam in 6th year, I was the only one that got 100%. I'm quite good looking, attracting quite a few girls, 5 girls have asked me out in the past 4 months. I don't see why all these things don't seem to make a difference. This has been on my shoulders for years. I'm really tired, I'm now studying medicine and all they can say is "if you make it through medical school and become a brain surgeon, then you'll be successful". They don't force me to study, I love medicine but I don't understand why they don't realise that I am a bit special. Oops, it was a really long message, sorry!!! please reply, what are my parents thinking?

12-12-2007, 06:45 PM	#2
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	I think that they know you're brainy and they EXPECT you to do well, so it doesn't come as a surprise. It sounds like complacency on their part. However, when you don't do as well, it does come as a surprise, because they've been so used to the high standards, so you get the criticism. It doesn't mean that they don't realise that you're special - they just don't think you need the praise because you're going to do well anyway. It's a dumb attitude, but some parents are like that. Also, if your brother isn't doing as well, they may be conscious of his feelings about your success and may feel that he needs the attention more than you do. At the end of the day though, what your parents think is irrelevant. I am sure they are proud of you even though they don't show it and they probably brag about you behind your back.

12-14-2007, 07:05 AM	#3
robinhood Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Scotland Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 254	But...but is that it?! It feels like they'll never be impressed, and I'm so far from succeeding.