location affecting mental health

narcoleptic · 11-23-2007, 07:17 PM

After trying for 7 years t live in westchester. I cant drive. Im a city girl him a country boy its our second marriage each , we are in our fifties. I suffer from narcolepsy, brain annurysm. The past 7 years its beenone sickness after another. Now this week i had a mental meltdown. The isolation living upstate as compared to my living in queens has finally gotten to me mentally. When I asked for more time. I sort of felt the past several months he has grown distant, just fed up. He feels we should just split. What does a country boy and city girl do. He wont relocate, though its only 40 miles away. and he drives. I tried it for 7 years, gave up family, lifestyle, everything but mentally can no longer take it. any advice

TakingtheBlame · 11-23-2007, 07:39 PM

I feel your pain, to an extent. I was raised in Brooklyn and went to college/work in Manhattan, so when I went to grad school on Long Island I didn't have a car and it was hell. I had never been so depressed in my life, but I didn't have the money to buy a car and figured I wouldn't buy one since I'd move back to the City as soon as I graduated...long story short, I couldn't take it anymore after about a year and a half so I scraped together some money and got a car.

I am amazed that your husband is being so unsupportive...didn't he realize that there might be problems before you two got married if you couldn't drive due to your health conditions? You're both mature people, so I'd imagine if he went ahead and made the commitment to you he will overcome his frustration and work with you on this issue. What's your situation as far as being close to a railroad station? Trains generally stop in most of the more popular Westchester towns and the Metro North goes into the City, if you wanted to work in the City or just hang out once in awhile. You can always take a car service to the train station if it isn't within walking distance. Also, I have friends on Long Island who have bikes and seem happy with them as their main mode of transportation. It IS possible to navigate the suburb without a car...maybe a bit difficult, but ultimately I think you can find a way to make it work, both the relationship and the location.

Entropy Smith · 11-23-2007, 10:14 PM

Score one for Queens! Yea ,who wants to live upstate around trees when you can hear traffic, garbage trucks, kids yellinig, and construction going on all day. Just kidding...

...Queens I have found, is a frightening place to people who aren't raised here.

narcoleptic · 11-24-2007, 04:58 AM

I travelled by train for 7 years but he never made it easier for me. Now travelling physically is very hard. Cant ride bikes due to exercise triggers narcolepsy. This week wounded up in psych unit due to the lonliness in croton i felt like i ws in solitary confinelment. where do i go from here marriage wise. This marriage was always one sided he wont move down here at least as of last month it was out of the question. did it take a breakdown to wake him up and do i really want him to be unhappy down here. but i loved him and did it for 7 years with all my obstacles. Is it so wrong to want him to try now.

narcoleptic · 11-24-2007, 07:39 AM

After 7 years of my second marriage living in westchester. Im a city girl, the isolation has landed me in the psych unit for a day. I suffer from narcolepsy, a sleeping disorder , had brain anurysm, cant drive, and tried to make it but now its affecting me mentally. He wont relocate to queens. I dont want him to be unhappy yet feel i gave up my entire life and tried to make it work for 7 years, but i guess what hurts most is that he wont do it for me. What do a country boy and city girl who love each other do. Is not my mental health more important .

ilovepoemsalot · 11-24-2007, 08:14 AM

I live in an area that makes me feel really unhappy too. Been here for nearly 10 years, it's only now where I feel like I'm able to deal with trying to move away from here and to somewhere where I'd feel happy living there.

brando · 11-24-2007, 08:48 AM

I can understand that where you live can affect you. But just remeber that where ever you go there you are. People , places and things do not change us, it must come from within.

shes2smart · 11-24-2007, 09:42 AM

narcoleptic -

I have merged your two threads since they are essentially asking the same question

11-23-2007, 07:17 PM	#1
narcoleptic Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 12	is it over After trying for 7 years t live in westchester. I cant drive. Im a city girl him a country boy its our second marriage each , we are in our fifties. I suffer from narcolepsy, brain annurysm. The past 7 years its beenone sickness after another. Now this week i had a mental meltdown. The isolation living upstate as compared to my living in queens has finally gotten to me mentally. When I asked for more time. I sort of felt the past several months he has grown distant, just fed up. He feels we should just split. What does a country boy and city girl do. He wont relocate, though its only 40 miles away. and he drives. I tried it for 7 years, gave up family, lifestyle, everything but mentally can no longer take it. any advice

11-24-2007, 04:58 AM	#4
narcoleptic Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 12	location affecting mental health I travelled by train for 7 years but he never made it easier for me. Now travelling physically is very hard. Cant ride bikes due to exercise triggers narcolepsy. This week wounded up in psych unit due to the lonliness in croton i felt like i ws in solitary confinelment. where do i go from here marriage wise. This marriage was always one sided he wont move down here at least as of last month it was out of the question. did it take a breakdown to wake him up and do i really want him to be unhappy down here. but i loved him and did it for 7 years with all my obstacles. Is it so wrong to want him to try now.

11-24-2007, 07:39 AM	#5
narcoleptic Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 12	location affecting mental health After 7 years of my second marriage living in westchester. Im a city girl, the isolation has landed me in the psych unit for a day. I suffer from narcolepsy, a sleeping disorder , had brain anurysm, cant drive, and tried to make it but now its affecting me mentally. He wont relocate to queens. I dont want him to be unhappy yet feel i gave up my entire life and tried to make it work for 7 years, but i guess what hurts most is that he wont do it for me. What do a country boy and city girl who love each other do. Is not my mental health more important .

11-24-2007, 08:48 AM	#7
brando Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: South Of No North Gender: Male Age: 40 Posts: 1,623	I can understand that where you live can affect you. But just remeber that where ever you go there you are. People , places and things do not change us, it must come from within. __________________ Forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who tresspass against us. - The Lord's Prayer

11-24-2007, 09:42 AM	#8
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,139	narcoleptic - I have merged your two threads since they are essentially asking the same question __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

11-23-2007, 07:39 PM	#2
TakingtheBlame Offline Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 66	I feel your pain, to an extent. I was raised in Brooklyn and went to college/work in Manhattan, so when I went to grad school on Long Island I didn't have a car and it was hell. I had never been so depressed in my life, but I didn't have the money to buy a car and figured I wouldn't buy one since I'd move back to the City as soon as I graduated...long story short, I couldn't take it anymore after about a year and a half so I scraped together some money and got a car. I am amazed that your husband is being so unsupportive...didn't he realize that there might be problems before you two got married if you couldn't drive due to your health conditions? You're both mature people, so I'd imagine if he went ahead and made the commitment to you he will overcome his frustration and work with you on this issue. What's your situation as far as being close to a railroad station? Trains generally stop in most of the more popular Westchester towns and the Metro North goes into the City, if you wanted to work in the City or just hang out once in awhile. You can always take a car service to the train station if it isn't within walking distance. Also, I have friends on Long Island who have bikes and seem happy with them as their main mode of transportation. It IS possible to navigate the suburb without a car...maybe a bit difficult, but ultimately I think you can find a way to make it work, both the relationship and the location.

11-23-2007, 10:14 PM	#3
Entropy Smith Offline Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: New Yawk Gender: Male Posts: 925	Score one for Queens! Yea ,who wants to live upstate around trees when you can hear traffic, garbage trucks, kids yellinig, and construction going on all day. Just kidding... ...Queens I have found, is a frightening place to people who aren't raised here.

11-24-2007, 08:14 AM	#6
ilovepoemsalot Offline Join Date: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 914	I live in an area that makes me feel really unhappy too. Been here for nearly 10 years, it's only now where I feel like I'm able to deal with trying to move away from here and to somewhere where I'd feel happy living there.