do depression/eating disorders..etc effect relationships?

backagain · 11-18-2007, 02:29 PM

do these personal issues effect a relationship?

do they make gf/bf fall out of love easier? more frequent?

do they look at the relationship differently? when its good? when its bad?

anything?

renaissancewoman101 · 11-18-2007, 02:44 PM

Personally, I think if one is depressed, it puts a damper on the "relationship", and eventually a guy will be turned off from it and see YOU as a downer and someone NOT to be with. From my experiences, it's better NOT to let the guy see that you are depressed since it will drive them away sooner or later.

Jeffie · 11-18-2007, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101

Personally, I think if one is depressed, it puts a damper on the "relationship", and eventually a guy will be turned off from it and see YOU as a downer and someone NOT to be with. From my experiences, it's better NOT to let the guy see that you are depressed since it will drive them away sooner or later.

I am going to choose to disagree. Obviously it depends highly on the guy, and stage of the relationship... but why not confide in the guy? Instead of trying to hide some serious issues from him?

Personally I would much rather have a girl I like, and care for. Be comfortable enough to come to me to help her through some tough times. Obviously not pull her through it, but a boost never hurt anyone.

backagain · 11-18-2007, 02:51 PM

well guys think in terms of the effect of depression on falling out of love easier...or easier to be swayed, or easier to fall in love with another guy...or easier to change heart over night......easier to lie, keep secrets....etc etc

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-18-2007, 02:52 PM

Yes, these personal issues can indeed affect a relationship. However, I disagree with renaissancewoman in the sense that if someone is going through a depression etc, to "hide" it from the other person is not going to work in the long run because sooner or later it will come out since it is part of who the person is at that point in time. What is most important is to deal with the depression etc so that the person going through it can move forwards to a brighter future. Depression and other issues will not just turn away a significant other, but people in general, if the person dealing with it does nothing to work on the problems.

RayKay · 11-18-2007, 03:06 PM

Absolutely. I have battled with both of these in my past, and I can say that as a result of how much they absorb your life and your personality, you cannot be a healthy partner.

I never lied, cheated but I can say I was often "numb".

However, you should not HIDE these serious issues from a partner. I would say if you really are depressed or have an illness, this becomes impossible anyway as it leaches into everything. Be open about it and most importantly - get help. Don't expect your partner to fix you.

Lana0120 · 11-18-2007, 03:16 PM

I've known of people in a relationship with someone with an eating disorder. It puts a major strain on those relationships.

backagain · 11-18-2007, 03:17 PM

can u guys go into a little bit of details?? like what kind of strain? was there a pattern? etc

Lana0120 · 11-18-2007, 03:26 PM

Like one partner getting angry and frustrated with the other and finding the relationship was more about helping the other person through the illness than having a good, fulfilling relationship. I know of two couples (who split up, don't know if it was because of the eating disorder or not) who were in this situation.

backagain · 11-18-2007, 03:29 PM

do ladies/gentlemen suffering depression tend to fall out of love easier? do they tend to be more easily swayed by friends/even other guys?

11-18-2007, 02:29 PM	#1
backagain Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 306	do depression/eating disorders..etc effect relationships? do these personal issues effect a relationship? do they make gf/bf fall out of love easier? more frequent? do they look at the relationship differently? when its good? when its bad? anything?

11-18-2007, 03:06 PM	#6
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	Absolutely. I have battled with both of these in my past, and I can say that as a result of how much they absorb your life and your personality, you cannot be a healthy partner. I never lied, cheated but I can say I was often "numb". However, you should not HIDE these serious issues from a partner. I would say if you really are depressed or have an illness, this becomes impossible anyway as it leaches into everything. Be open about it and most importantly - get help. Don't expect your partner to fix you. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

11-18-2007, 02:44 PM	#2
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,565	Personally, I think if one is depressed, it puts a damper on the "relationship", and eventually a guy will be turned off from it and see YOU as a downer and someone NOT to be with. From my experiences, it's better NOT to let the guy see that you are depressed since it will drive them away sooner or later.

11-18-2007, 02:51 PM	#4
backagain Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 306	well guys think in terms of the effect of depression on falling out of love easier...or easier to be swayed, or easier to fall in love with another guy...or easier to change heart over night......easier to lie, keep secrets....etc etc

11-18-2007, 02:52 PM	#5
Crazyaboutdogs Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,631	Yes, these personal issues can indeed affect a relationship. However, I disagree with renaissancewoman in the sense that if someone is going through a depression etc, to "hide" it from the other person is not going to work in the long run because sooner or later it will come out since it is part of who the person is at that point in time. What is most important is to deal with the depression etc so that the person going through it can move forwards to a brighter future. Depression and other issues will not just turn away a significant other, but people in general, if the person dealing with it does nothing to work on the problems.

11-18-2007, 03:16 PM	#7
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	I've known of people in a relationship with someone with an eating disorder. It puts a major strain on those relationships.

11-18-2007, 03:17 PM	#8
backagain Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 306	can u guys go into a little bit of details?? like what kind of strain? was there a pattern? etc

11-18-2007, 03:26 PM	#9
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	Like one partner getting angry and frustrated with the other and finding the relationship was more about helping the other person through the illness than having a good, fulfilling relationship. I know of two couples (who split up, don't know if it was because of the eating disorder or not) who were in this situation.

11-18-2007, 03:29 PM	#10
backagain Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 306	do ladies/gentlemen suffering depression tend to fall out of love easier? do they tend to be more easily swayed by friends/even other guys?