Mom has cancer....

sarah9596 · 11-04-2007, 09:33 AM

My mom has cancer and did a bout of radiation - 35 sessions - they wanted to do chemo as well but before her treatment started she suffered a small heart attack so they would not do chemo because it is hard on the heart.

So she finished the radiation a few months back but she thinks she has found another lump in her neck and she is down to 89 lbs - I feel so helpless - what can I possibly say to her to give her hope - she just says it's in god's hands now because she is too weak to do any more radiation... has anyone any ideas?

Pocket Rocket · 11-04-2007, 12:45 PM

Do little things for your mom to help her out, sometimes actions speak louder than words. Ask her what you can do to be a good daughter and friend to her right now. Make her dinner, send her some inspirational quotes, stories or leave some funny/sweet notes lying around the house to make her smile, really listen when she's feeling down, sit quietly with her sometimes or talk and laugh about the happy memories. If she says she's scared tell her it's okay, give her a hug, tell her you love her and that you'll be there whenever she needs you. You will be doing so much for her, there are no 'right' words to say, so say anything you think she may want to hear (be honest though, not negative). I hope this helps!

sarah9596 · 11-04-2007, 09:25 PM

Thank you pocket - I am trying - she lives about a 45 min drive away - I was just there today actually - she is down to 89 pounds and although she is not seeming very sad - she is feeling as though she knows there is not much time left for her.

I really appreciate your kinds words...... and it does help

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-04-2007, 09:35 PM

Sarah, at a certain point, many terminally ill patients reach acceptance of what is to come. It sounds like your mother has accepted it. Pocket Rocket has some very good suggestions. Also don't forget to take care of yourself. You might want to check out support groups for families dealing with cancer patients or terminally ill patients. Some hospitals offer programs to help the families.

Atticus90 · 11-05-2007, 03:53 AM

I guess I can't say I know how you feel,
but I wish the best of luck with you and your mother.

Just try to spend a lot of time with her. As much as you can.

sarah9596 · 11-06-2007, 08:51 PM

You are all very kind to reply - It's weird - I know my family is here for me but wonder if sometimes I may wear them down a bit... they don't know what to say when I just burst into tears from what they feel is nowhere - but I just can't control it sometimes - just so much to somedays carry the happy smiley person everyone thinks I am - so thank you all - I really appreciate the kind replies

**arwen** · 11-07-2007, 03:24 AM

Hey sarah,

I am terribly sorry for your mom's situation- and the kind of stress and sadness the disease can put on a family. You don't have to be happy and smiling all the time. This is hard on your mom and hard on everyone that loves her- to see her go through this. I am sure that you bring her a lot of joy simply because you are her daughter.

Arwen

11-04-2007, 09:33 AM	#1
sarah9596 Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Gender: Female Posts: 8	Mom has cancer.... My mom has cancer and did a bout of radiation - 35 sessions - they wanted to do chemo as well but before her treatment started she suffered a small heart attack so they would not do chemo because it is hard on the heart. So she finished the radiation a few months back but she thinks she has found another lump in her neck and she is down to 89 lbs - I feel so helpless - what can I possibly say to her to give her hope - she just says it's in god's hands now because she is too weak to do any more radiation... has anyone any ideas?

11-04-2007, 12:45 PM	#2
Pocket Rocket Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Who knows?! Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 1,084	Do little things for your mom to help her out, sometimes actions speak louder than words. Ask her what you can do to be a good daughter and friend to her right now. Make her dinner, send her some inspirational quotes, stories or leave some funny/sweet notes lying around the house to make her smile, really listen when she's feeling down, sit quietly with her sometimes or talk and laugh about the happy memories. If she says she's scared tell her it's okay, give her a hug, tell her you love her and that you'll be there whenever she needs you. You will be doing so much for her, there are no 'right' words to say, so say anything you think she may want to hear (be honest though, not negative). I hope this helps! __________________ "Happiness is not a destination, it is a method of life"

11-04-2007, 09:25 PM	#3
sarah9596 Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Gender: Female Posts: 8	Thank you pocket - I am trying - she lives about a 45 min drive away - I was just there today actually - she is down to 89 pounds and although she is not seeming very sad - she is feeling as though she knows there is not much time left for her. I really appreciate your kinds words...... and it does help __________________ Remember... someone else is having a worse day

11-05-2007, 03:53 AM	#5
Atticus90 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: North Carolina Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 1,194	I guess I can't say I know how you feel, but I wish the best of luck with you and your mother. Just try to spend a lot of time with her. As much as you can. __________________ When in battle, show no mercy, for you shall receive none"

11-06-2007, 08:51 PM	#6
sarah9596 Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Gender: Female Posts: 8	You are all very kind to reply - It's weird - I know my family is here for me but wonder if sometimes I may wear them down a bit... they don't know what to say when I just burst into tears from what they feel is nowhere - but I just can't control it sometimes - just so much to somedays carry the happy smiley person everyone thinks I am - so thank you all - I really appreciate the kind replies __________________ Remember... someone else is having a worse day

11-04-2007, 09:35 PM	#4
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	Sarah, at a certain point, many terminally ill patients reach acceptance of what is to come. It sounds like your mother has accepted it. Pocket Rocket has some very good suggestions. Also don't forget to take care of yourself. You might want to check out support groups for families dealing with cancer patients or terminally ill patients. Some hospitals offer programs to help the families.

11-07-2007, 03:24 AM	#7
arwen Online Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 5,396	Hey sarah, I am terribly sorry for your mom's situation- and the kind of stress and sadness the disease can put on a family. You don't have to be happy and smiling all the time. This is hard on your mom and hard on everyone that loves her- to see her go through this. I am sure that you bring her a lot of joy simply because you are her daughter. Arwen __________________ You always* have a choice.* 11 February 2010: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]* is due!* Please see the forum rules for posting on enotalone.com