Depressed...Inadequate...Moody...Stressed...Im reaching my breaking point with life!

I don't even know where to begin...I'm making myself sick with stress over here and I feel a panic attack coming on...I JUST WANT TO DIE, SERIOUSLY.

I guess im still bothered by last night...Well while I was over my girlfriends house I was playing my game(World of Warcraft) and people in my guild were talking about penis sizes and that how if anyone under 6 inches walked to them they'd totally not be satisifed. I mean I know its just people over the internet talking but I read it and felt kind of embarrassed about my size.

So later on in the night my girlfriend was grabbing at my penis and iunno I guess I didn't feel comfortable and when she looked up she asked if I was enjoying it probably because the look on my face and I told her what was bothering me.

She says i'm fine, but I feel like shes just obligated to say that because she's dating me(just as my ex did and then the second we broke up she ran around telling everyone I was 3 inches, which I am far from).

Then she was getting mad because I kept saying I was small and I hate it and that I just wanna put it in a box forever.

And then I said a comment something along the lines of that i'm probably the smallest guy shes ever came accross. And her silence just confirmed it for me. But then she said what'd you say. And i'm like forget it...I don't even want to know. Then she kept insisting to ask me what I said so I said, "I said I bet i'm the smallest guy you've ever met...but forget it I don't even want to know." And she didn't say anything...So does this mean I am the smallest shes came accross? If I wasn't, wouldn't she have said "No you're not, i've had smaller guys," even if I didn't really want to know. Or even if I was the smallest don't you think she would have lied and said I wasnt just to make me feel better as thats the answer I was obviously looking for? I mean its not like that lie could ever come back and bite her in the ass because im not going to talk to all the peoples shes done stuff with and ask them their penis size.

She then said "I always tell you you're fine and that I think it's big." Then I said irrationally "Well how come you never really want to have sex, its always me initiating it, and you very rarely initiate it...I bet if I was bigger you'd always want it." Then she got all offended and said "If thats what you really think you're just messed up, we don't have to have sex everynight." And then I kind of just shut up about it after that and stayed silent and pissed off.

I also mentioned that I should get surgery to make it bigger and she said if you ever did that I wouldnt be around you anymore. So maybe she is fine with it. I just think 5.5 inches is just small and child-like. I just wish I was like 8 inches and, not to be graphic, able stuff my girlfriend full of penis.

She then kept saying "You can just go home if you're gonna be a grump the rest of the night."

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO COMPARE MYSELF WITH PEOPLE SHE'S DONE IT WITH BEFORE ME? I JUST FEEL LIKE SINCE IM THE 7TH PENIS SHE'S SEEN THAT IF IM THE SMALLEST WELL THEN MAN I MUST BE REALLY SMALL OUTTA 7 PEOPLE.

I just can't stand living anymore. My family has never loved me...The friends I once had all bailed out on me because I don't "party" anymore and the ones who didn't care about partying all bailed out on me 8 months prior when I got a girlfriend, who is the only thing I have in my life now and all we do is see eachother and we've been fighting a lot more lately because of it and she thinks we're coming to an end because of our constant bickering.

I hate my body, I hate my penis, I hate the moods I get in, I'm currently wearing a holter monitor to see if the palpitations i've been having everyday for the past year are bad or if theyre normal palpitations and everyday im plagued with the constant worrying of dying. My life is literally falling down all around me and I feel suffocated in its debris. I feel the only salvation is to just end it all. Because i'm never going to be content with this sh*tty life.

you seriously need too get a grip on yourself. i would add more but this is basically just i dont know, you need too get a grip and slam back into reality

have you sent them a photo of your penis? do they know? your penis is your penis, stop worrying about the size. only reason you feel suffocated is beacuse you allow yourself too compare too others. and why your comparing your penis too someone whos is 8 inches makes me think. at the end of the day your banging your girl they arent

you're 20. i've been there before. it's rough. if you're up to it talking to a professional is never a bad idea. this girl sounds like she's worth hanging on to so it might be in your best interest to get head squared away before she leaves.

most importantly. you've go to realize that right now you are handling the situations the only way you know how. while it may not be the most constructive, it's not your fault. a professional can help you sort things out and help your mind think clearer.

i too spent most of my 20's loathing myself and life in general. hated it. know what? that's a decade i'll never get back because i was too busy feeling sorry for myself. don't make the same mistake. there's a better world out there you just gotta work for it.

Your girlfriend is right, you're fine.

Penis size doesn't matter, its what you do with it that does.

And shes right again with the sex thing.

You need to stop thinkin about other peoples sizes.

Most people are around 5" anyway. so i wouldn't worry (i read that in a version of the karmasutra)

It's not the size that matters, just about any girl will tell you that and it's the honest truth. How you use it is what matters. Don't be down on yourself. I am sure it's all good. Keep your head up and I hope for the best for ya and that heart stuff. ((hugs))

1) Don't talk negatively about yourself to the opposite sex, especially your GF. Don't talk about how you are too short, fat, out of shape, hairy or hairless, too skinny, etc etc. This ESPECIALLY goes for your 'package.'

Weakness is bad. Your penis isn't turning your GF off, but your attitude sure as heck is.

Your equipment may be standard issue and that is not a bad thing. There are guys out there who would be envious of you because:

A) You have an average penis because for every 8"-9" monster out there - there is a guy who is only 3" on a good day and 2) you have a girlfriend.. and one that really likes you that you are only going to push away with this penis obsession. That other girl who told everyone that you were 3" is worthless, perhaps you should have made up something about her... but you're probably a good guy and saw that as being beneath you. Don't let that past GF ruin your future relationships.

2) Remember that most people exaggerate about everything - especially those faceless folks on these here internets! People, in general, do not make as much $$ as they say, love their life as much as they say - - - this is especially true for guys in their teens and twenties --- such as the number of sex partners and the size of their 'boys.'

Yes, you see porn actors with tree stumps, but these are anomalies of nature.

3) You hate your penis, but you can't change it. Sure, you can save up and have surgery and lengthen it a little, but there are complications and my understanding is that what you gain in length - you give up in sturdiness. Everything has a trade off.

You hate your body. Do your palpitations limit you physically with regards to lifting weights / running / etc?