Does guy always have to pick up his date on the first few dates?
Curious about this question. If the two live in one of the cities in the world that has worse traffic jam (i.e., it takes about an hour to get to the girl's place though she lives not that far from his). On their first few dates, is it nescessary that guy pick girl up? Can they just meet at the chosen restaurant? What is the proper arrangement?
It's probably fine to meet there but make sure you get her home. Walk her to her cab and give the driver enough cash to cover the ride. Or take a cab with her, drop her off at her door, then cab it home. However, if she is going to take a bus or subway, insist on picking her up instead.
Another option could be to choose a place close to her home or office.
For the first date I'd probably pick her up. You don't want to give the impression on the very first date that something like picking her up for a date is too much of a hassle (even though it is). After that, if you plan to meet again, you can make a better plan of how to meet up. Definitely don't let her take the bus or subway alone at night.
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I used to always expect guys to pick me up for dates, but I've had some bad things happen in cars... now I won't let guys pick me up until we know each other really well. It really depends on the girl. If you just met the girl she might actually be more comfortable with meeting you somewhere. Either way, make sure she gets home safely.
Today, 01:35 AM
I'm comfortable meeting somewhere but it's nice when the man suggests a place that is more convenient for me than for him. And the man should make sure the woman gets home safely at night - finding her a taxi is fine. One time a man wanted me to meet him on a street corner and then we would choose a restaurant - he had asked me out for the date 10 days in advance and called me with that suggestion about two hours before the date. I was not impressed and told him to pick a restaurant (there are a dozen right in that area - 2-5 block radius) and call me back. he did within a half hour. He then teased me for my not wanting to meet him on a street corner at night. Two weeks later he called and asked if he could take me to the opera that Saturday night. I always wondered about that (i wasn't interested anyway, his lack of manners being only one factor).
Go by what you know of the woman. Everyone likes courtesy, but some have different ideas of what is 'proper' or not.
If it's a more traditional girl and she hasn't mentioned anything on her part; guess you are safer being the one to go the full five miles.
Then, later, you can slack like a mo fo and it won't matter. ha.
Seriously tho, just make sure she isn't inconvienced to see you. If you made the date, you are responsible for the bulk of the arrangements. Though that doesn't have to mean you must pick her up in a car. Just think of her as much as yourself.
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I don't think it is bad manners to suggest meeting at the restaurant, esp if you live in a large city where traffic is such a problem. However, as Batya pointed out, it would be nice if you chose a restaurant near her rather than the other way around. You don't want to make it difficult for her to get home or have to walk alone, esp at night. Keep that in mind when choosing a destination.
Wow, I must give an impression that I was a guy. I am actually a girl. I just browsed through stuff on the net and read your opinions. I am so glad that thing between the guy I referred to and I didn't work out.
- He never offered to pick me up.
- He never made sure I got home safely.
- He chose places that were convenient to him all the time.
- We usually went dutch on meals, movies, etc (though one time he paid half of my plane ticket on our vacation).
- He never called to follow-up after a date.
- He never called when he said he would (though he enjoyed the thrill of long distance, i.e., called a lot when we lived in different countries and loved to fly to meet each other somewhere around the world).
- He always had to run after our dates or took calls from friends during the dates and then had to run (yet, we had a few dates).
My goodness, I wish him all the best with his recent marriage!
Last edited by crapie; 10-22-2007 at 08:48 AM.
I would say from a female point of view unless i knew the person I would 1) not want them knowing where I lived 2) wouldn't get in a car with them - alll about safety.
I think it is fair to meet the girl at the place or outside for the first date perhaps second too as a level of trust has to be gained. Just make sure that she gets home safe by a text or call if she is getting a cab, bus, this to me speaks volumes about a mans character.
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i would meet up in a situation like that. where i am, i usually offer to pick them up.
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