Christian, single, and completely lost.

wmped · 10-07-2007, 02:15 PM

I grew up in rural county were everyone is pretty conservative. But with the onset of college and all, I've lately been trying to quantify my faith on a personal basis.

To make matters worse...it's that time of my life you know? Dating time? And nobody seems share similar beliefs. I'm not interested in any of those inter-varsity groups either since they sometimes appear...rather cultish. People running around with plastic smiles on their faces and not really even sure what they really believe.

So basically I'm stuck in the middle somewhere trying to find a personal faith and apart from "christian" society. Do I need to "lighten up"? Join the ranks of "jesus freaks" and plaster on a sugar coated exterior? I want my faith to be real, and more than just that. Any suggestions?

Lana0120 · 10-07-2007, 03:49 PM

Don't feel that you have to be one thing or the other. Just be yourself. If you keep an open mind and you're friendly to everyone, you'll meet people who are on your wavelength.

Haven · 10-07-2007, 03:49 PM

I'm not sure what you're asking.. but I do have friends who are religious (they attend church/services every Sunday or whatever) and still manage to have relationships and friends. Maybe you should use religion as a basis for how you live your life (stick to morals, etc), but don't make it your entire life (don't go around trying to convert people, etc).

Wimpy · 10-07-2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haven

use religion as a basis for how you live your life (stick to morals, etc), but don't make it your entire life (don't go around trying to convert people, etc).

Strictly speaking that's what religion should be all about shouldn't it? If you don't make it "your entire life" then somehow I think you've missed the point.

I think today too many people kind of have a "supermarket" faith or religion - i.e. they pick the bits they want but leave the bits that don't fit with their life or what they want.

However, if you actually look at the religion of the bible (which is, after all the main authority on the subject ...christian beliefs anyhow) then it teaches that religion should be the most important thing in your life and that preaching/teaching others is also fundamental. (E.g. Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 28:19,20).

However, I respect and acknowledge that everyone has their own opinion so am not criticising...just expressing another side.

As for the O/P I can understand how difficult it is - I have had similar issues in the past. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

Luke Skywalker · 10-07-2007, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wmped

I grew up in rural county were everyone is pretty conservative. But with the onset of college and all, I've lately been trying to quantify my faith on a personal basis.

To make matters worse...it's that time of my life you know? Dating time? And nobody seems share similar beliefs. I'm not interested in any of those inter-varsity groups either since they sometimes appear...rather cultish. People running around with plastic smiles on their faces and not really even sure what they really believe.

So basically I'm stuck in the middle somewhere trying to find a personal faith and apart from "christian" society. Do I need to "lighten up"? Join the ranks of "jesus freaks" and plaster on a sugar coated exterior? I want my faith to be real, and more than just that. Any suggestions?

So, you thinking the "Jesus freaks" do not know what they really believe? I think you should hang out with this group when they are having service and contribute to the worship. As a Christian you need to find people who can build and strengthen you in your faith and look for opportunities of just that - maybe you can even help them. I dont think the Christian life if meant to be entirely solitary and think group fellowship is important.

Haven · 10-07-2007, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wimpy

Strictly speaking that's what religion should be all about shouldn't it? If you don't make it "your entire life" then somehow I think you've missed the point.

I was just saying that I have many friends who are religious but don't spend 24/7 focusing on their religions. If you adhere 100% to your religion then you're going to miss out on a lot of things. Especially in college, where most people look down on "jesus freaks" or anyone who's overly religious. I go to a college that leans toward the conservative side, and even here most people are not very involved in religious activities.

Maybe you (the OP) should consider going to a religious college or something.

Leonhart · 10-07-2007, 11:43 PM

Don't be religious (as I'm sure you're not). Continue following Christ and let Him direct your paths. In other words, start trusting Him to open up doors and bring the RIGHT people into your path!

I'm not sure switching schools is a very good idea. I love Jesus with all my heart, but why the hell should *I* have to switch schools just because other people are afraid of God? That seems ridiculous to me. No, it says, "Be in the world, but not OF the world." So continue shining as a light that you are, and you'll be amazed at what God does through you and in you.

Don't EVER compromise in matters of faith. Say you find someone you like. Maybe things go along really well. Share your faith with her. Plant some seeds. You never know what could blossom from your good will!

If she doesn't take to it, then it's HER loss, my friend. Not yours. You can do better.

But as a fellow discipline in Christ myself, I can relate to your desire to find a godly christian mate. What could be better? I firmly believe that God answers prayers if you honestly BELIEVE He will, therefore, start praying and start expecting doors to open, because they will!

I have considered joining some form of christian society at my school. I may and see what happens. Do I expect it to solve all my problems? No. But it could be a group of fellow believers to share my time with rather than feel all alone in a godless, secular school full of rebellion and reproach. We'll see how it goes.

Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll · 10-08-2007, 09:23 AM

what does you being christian have too do with anything? you still have too go out and search just like devil worshipers do. there is no christian society unless your in the church or something, interact with people, keep your fatih and go meet women and date, they aint up too your faith drop em and keep looking.........

i could be sitting here praising a stone satan i still have too go out and look for dates....and if they ddint praise a stone satan drop em and look for someoen else who does

how do you find them?

you look and keep loooking

Blessedchild · 10-09-2007, 11:21 PM

I kind of understand what you mean. I'm christian too. Not only that, I'm feminist, and interested in social issues. So my dating pool is considerably small. I hardly ever run into someone who is on the same wavelength in both aspects of my identity. He's either christian and non-egalitarian (then I have to convert him), or he's egalitarian and not christian.

So I'm not in the position to give advice. But I will say, hang in there. Its tough being different and wanting intimacy (even just the intimacy of friendship) yet the ppl around you are interested in other things. I visited the intervarsity group oncampus and noticed the "plastic smile" thing as well. I realised then and there that that wasn't what I was looking for in fellowship. I want people who are real about their struggles, who are willing to be challenged in their thinking. That's hard to find among the christians I meet. But I do have some really good female friends who are on my wavelength. I've just found it difficult to meet any cute single interested christian feminist guys.

wmped · 10-11-2007, 01:11 PM

Wow! So many posts! Sorry if I got a theological discussion going on here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wimpy

Strictly speaking that's what religion should be all about shouldn't it? If you don't make it "your entire life" then somehow I think you've missed the point.

That's true. I do often think about that particular thing which is why I run into this dilemma. Am I to expect God to just make me meet someone? Isn't that kinda testing him? Everyone down here is some sort of Super-Quasi Agnostic. Relativism reigns! I feel like I'm drowning in all the hypocrisy around me. I know I need to deal with the "log" in my eye first but yet it really bugs me.

PS: I have a really close female friend from high school. Simply put, she had a bad childhood and now dislikes religion in any form (calming it's caused wars, etc). We talk about lots of deep stuff all the time including my faith (I'm very open and she respects it). So it just kinda compounds how I've been feeling lately since I guess I've always had a sort of low level attraction for her.

10-07-2007, 02:15 PM	#1
wmped Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 74	Christian, single, and completely lost. I grew up in rural county were everyone is pretty conservative. But with the onset of college and all, I've lately been trying to quantify my faith on a personal basis. To make matters worse...it's that time of my life you know? Dating time? And nobody seems share similar beliefs. I'm not interested in any of those inter-varsity groups either since they sometimes appear...rather cultish. People running around with plastic smiles on their faces and not really even sure what they really believe. So basically I'm stuck in the middle somewhere trying to find a personal faith and apart from "christian" society. Do I need to "lighten up"? Join the ranks of "jesus freaks" and plaster on a sugar coated exterior? I want my faith to be real, and more than just that. Any suggestions? __________________ "Arm yourself because no one else here will save you."

10-07-2007, 03:49 PM	#2
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	Don't feel that you have to be one thing or the other. Just be yourself. If you keep an open mind and you're friendly to everyone, you'll meet people who are on your wavelength.

10-07-2007, 03:49 PM	#3
Haven Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 973	I'm not sure what you're asking.. but I do have friends who are religious (they attend church/services every Sunday or whatever) and still manage to have relationships and friends. Maybe you should use religion as a basis for how you live your life (stick to morals, etc), but don't make it your entire life (don't go around trying to convert people, etc).

10-07-2007, 11:43 PM	#7
Leonhart Offline Join Date: Feb 2007 Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,411	Don't be religious (as I'm sure you're not). Continue following Christ and let Him direct your paths. In other words, start trusting Him to open up doors and bring the RIGHT people into your path! I'm not sure switching schools is a very good idea. I love Jesus with all my heart, but why the hell should I have to switch schools just because other people are afraid of God? That seems ridiculous to me. No, it says, "Be in the world, but not OF the world." So continue shining as a light that you are, and you'll be amazed at what God does through you and in you. Don't EVER compromise in matters of faith. Say you find someone you like. Maybe things go along really well. Share your faith with her. Plant some seeds. You never know what could blossom from your good will! If she doesn't take to it, then it's HER loss, my friend. Not yours. You can do better. But as a fellow discipline in Christ myself, I can relate to your desire to find a godly christian mate. What could be better? I firmly believe that God answers prayers if you honestly BELIEVE He will, therefore, start praying and start expecting doors to open, because they will! I have considered joining some form of christian society at my school. I may and see what happens. Do I expect it to solve all my problems? No. But it could be a group of fellow believers to share my time with rather than feel all alone in a godless, secular school full of rebellion and reproach. We'll see how it goes.

10-08-2007, 09:23 AM	#8
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Offline Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ...Super Bowl 43... Gender: Male Posts: 3,075	what does you being christian have too do with anything? you still have too go out and search just like devil worshipers do. there is no christian society unless your in the church or something, interact with people, keep your fatih and go meet women and date, they aint up too your faith drop em and keep looking......... i could be sitting here praising a stone satan i still have too go out and look for dates....and if they ddint praise a stone satan drop em and look for someoen else who does how do you find them? you look and keep loooking

10-09-2007, 11:21 PM	#9
Blessedchild Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: South of the sahara Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 20	I kind of understand what you mean. I'm christian too. Not only that, I'm feminist, and interested in social issues. So my dating pool is considerably small. I hardly ever run into someone who is on the same wavelength in both aspects of my identity. He's either christian and non-egalitarian (then I have to convert him), or he's egalitarian and not christian. So I'm not in the position to give advice. But I will say, hang in there. Its tough being different and wanting intimacy (even just the intimacy of friendship) yet the ppl around you are interested in other things. I visited the intervarsity group oncampus and noticed the "plastic smile" thing as well. I realised then and there that that wasn't what I was looking for in fellowship. I want people who are real about their struggles, who are willing to be challenged in their thinking. That's hard to find among the christians I meet. But I do have some really good female friends who are on my wavelength. I've just found it difficult to meet any cute single interested christian feminist guys.