Regrets...

Lily04 · 09-13-2007, 02:47 PM

Hey, not really sure which forum to post this in necessarily... but I am embarking on a new school year, and feel more confident about this year than previous years... like I know the mistakes I made in the past and am working to fix them. The problem is that I've made many emotional mistakes in the past, and it's still difficult for me to let go... i.e. i'm not necessarily referring to the guy I was recently dating either...............i mean things ended OK between us, despite me being a biit pissed at his email response to me. But more... in general. Because I was such a screwup in school, it ruined a lot of professional relationships, friendships and more romantic relationships. I'm not sure I can ask people for references in jobs or in life, pretty much........it's sort of hard for me to make genuine, real connections between people, although usually they are with academics/grad students as we tend to have similar personalities/goals in some respects. But seriously, I would say the last 2-3 years have been an emotional rollercoaster, which almost ended in me failing some classes!! Luckily I didn't, but the politics surrounding it made me develop a reputation with some people in my Department, and now I'm not even sure if profs are talking about me or what... i.e. 2 years ago I took a course with a prof. and she told me that another prof. told her about me when he saw her syllabus...

I guess some people say it's better to be known than not (or however the saying goes), but.... I feel like a politician let's say, who had a great reputation starting out, popular, etc......but then spiralled downhill. I would say Bill Clinton is maybe analogous, although despite his unfortunate scandal with Lewinsky he still sort of picked himself up...... I'm trying to do that but it's so hard because I feel like I've already been branded as a failure and such........................

I just want to be able to move forward and forget the past, I guess... knowing I made mistakes and screwed up a lot. I wish I could repair them but I think it's best to let things go and in some cases are probably irreversible....

CrazyKing · 09-13-2007, 02:55 PM

Quit that obsession with all the relationship things - people ruin too much chances when they're always concentrated on relationships and all that...

Lily04 · 09-13-2007, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyKing

Quit that obsession with all the relationship things - people ruin too much chances when they're always concentrated on relationships and all that...

Good point Crazy...lol. But... i'm not just talking about ruining relationships but friendships and professional relationships.... i've probably ruined more than I fostered.

Lana0120 · 09-13-2007, 03:02 PM

If you nearly failed classes and did badly academically, it's never too late to change. If you work your hardest and put in real effort, then no matter what went on in the past, your current professors/lecturers will respect you for your efforts now. Start like it's day one.

Ash · 09-13-2007, 03:58 PM

Only person that will brand you as a failure at this point is yourself, and you're not going to do that because you're completely capable of great things, right?

Learn from the past but don't like it drag you down. There are a whole bunch of people who almost failed but didn't. What separates them from those who did and do fail is that they care about what happens. You care, so you won't fail.

Lily04 · 09-13-2007, 04:44 PM

Thanks so much guys.. you're both right. I never quite thought of it that way... but it's true... I'll start on a fresh foot now, turn over a new leaf... (or however the saying goes lol...) alright.

astatine · 09-16-2007, 05:29 PM

I have had issues with shyness and depression all through college. I have blown a few chances, missed out on relationships, lost friends, and even taken an extra year to graduate. I deeply regret my college experience. The few simple things I could have done to make it very enjoyable seem so obvious to me now, making me feel even worse that I made the mistakes to begin with. It certainly is possible that some people you have met in the last 3-4 years may look at you as a failue. But it is your choice to decide how the people you will meet in the next 40 will view you. Those won't be the best four years of my life...I won't let them be.

Lily04 · 09-17-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astatine

I have had issues with shyness and depression all through college. I have blown a few chances, missed out on relationships, lost friends, and even taken an extra year to graduate. I deeply regret my college experience. The few simple things I could have done to make it very enjoyable seem so obvious to me now, making me feel even worse that I made the mistakes to begin with. It certainly is possible that some people you have met in the last 3-4 years may look at you as a failue. But it is your choice to decide how the people you will meet in the next 40 will view you. Those won't be the best four years of my life...I won't let them be.

very good point... thanks so much.

Lana0120 · 09-18-2007, 04:43 AM

Good luck, Just remember that you can turn over a new leaf academically, start over, and when your lecturers realise you are working hard their opinion of you (if they have one - some of them may not know you or about your rep anyway, hopefully), will change. A lot of people don't believe something until they see it with their own eyes anyway. Just go out there and do yourself proud.

09-13-2007, 02:47 PM	#1
Lily04 Offline Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,875	Regrets... Hey, not really sure which forum to post this in necessarily... but I am embarking on a new school year, and feel more confident about this year than previous years... like I know the mistakes I made in the past and am working to fix them. The problem is that I've made many emotional mistakes in the past, and it's still difficult for me to let go... i.e. i'm not necessarily referring to the guy I was recently dating either...............i mean things ended OK between us, despite me being a biit pissed at his email response to me. But more... in general. Because I was such a screwup in school, it ruined a lot of professional relationships, friendships and more romantic relationships. I'm not sure I can ask people for references in jobs or in life, pretty much........it's sort of hard for me to make genuine, real connections between people, although usually they are with academics/grad students as we tend to have similar personalities/goals in some respects. But seriously, I would say the last 2-3 years have been an emotional rollercoaster, which almost ended in me failing some classes!! Luckily I didn't, but the politics surrounding it made me develop a reputation with some people in my Department, and now I'm not even sure if profs are talking about me or what... i.e. 2 years ago I took a course with a prof. and she told me that another prof. told her about me when he saw her syllabus... I guess some people say it's better to be known than not (or however the saying goes), but.... I feel like a politician let's say, who had a great reputation starting out, popular, etc......but then spiralled downhill. I would say Bill Clinton is maybe analogous, although despite his unfortunate scandal with Lewinsky he still sort of picked himself up...... I'm trying to do that but it's so hard because I feel like I've already been branded as a failure and such........................ I just want to be able to move forward and forget the past, I guess... knowing I made mistakes and screwed up a lot. I wish I could repair them but I think it's best to let things go and in some cases are probably irreversible....

09-13-2007, 02:55 PM	#2
CrazyKing Offline Silver Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Parties, parties, parties... Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,040	Quit that obsession with all the relationship things - people ruin too much chances when they're always concentrated on relationships and all that... __________________ The most beautiful song I've ever heard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c98iGXIeia4 :)

09-13-2007, 03:58 PM	#5
Ash Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Age: 46 Posts: 1,868	Only person that will brand you as a failure at this point is yourself, and you're not going to do that because you're completely capable of great things, right? Learn from the past but don't like it drag you down. There are a whole bunch of people who almost failed but didn't. What separates them from those who did and do fail is that they care about what happens. You care, so you won't fail. __________________ Wisdom can come with youth ... my friends here prove it everyday.

09-13-2007, 03:02 PM	#4
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	If you nearly failed classes and did badly academically, it's never too late to change. If you work your hardest and put in real effort, then no matter what went on in the past, your current professors/lecturers will respect you for your efforts now. Start like it's day one.

09-13-2007, 04:44 PM	#6
Lily04 Offline Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,875	Thanks so much guys.. you're both right. I never quite thought of it that way... but it's true... I'll start on a fresh foot now, turn over a new leaf... (or however the saying goes lol...) alright.

09-16-2007, 05:29 PM	#7
astatine Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 67	I have had issues with shyness and depression all through college. I have blown a few chances, missed out on relationships, lost friends, and even taken an extra year to graduate. I deeply regret my college experience. The few simple things I could have done to make it very enjoyable seem so obvious to me now, making me feel even worse that I made the mistakes to begin with. It certainly is possible that some people you have met in the last 3-4 years may look at you as a failue. But it is your choice to decide how the people you will meet in the next 40 will view you. Those won't be the best four years of my life...I won't let them be.

09-18-2007, 04:43 AM	#9
Lana0120 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 3,467	Good luck, Just remember that you can turn over a new leaf academically, start over, and when your lecturers realise you are working hard their opinion of you (if they have one - some of them may not know you or about your rep anyway, hopefully), will change. A lot of people don't believe something until they see it with their own eyes anyway. Just go out there and do yourself proud.