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whats worse cheating or lying?


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ok...as to not take sides...heres a scenario..tell me what you think...

 

its a relationship of A and B...theyve been together for 2 years in a long distance relationship, its been fine until now, they see each other every so often, but enough, and they both really love each other. A cheated on B...(had intercourse with X) in the summer, and lets B know this a few weeks ago. B accepts it, of course B is angry and frustarted at the fact of what A did, but thinks they can get through it. B starts being a bit rude, B is angry with A, saying A is mean, and a hypocryte, and that A lies and its bad because A never told B what happened. few days pass, and things are rough, both probably feel like sh*t...THEN...B says "i think i needed to tell you this, but i cheated too in june" (kissing with Y)...A says its horrible what B did because now who is the hypocyte and liar?

 

so whos worse? i understand cheating wise, obviously A right? logical. but what about lying and keeping it in for longer? does comunication not matter? or is physical cheating worse than lying about cheating? im confused...

please dont relate this to boy or girl, or good or bad...just please tell me what you think.

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If my boyfriend/husband cheated on me and told me lets just say a day or so after he had, i would be more likely to forgive him then had i found out on my own. He may have waited a day or so but at least he was honest and i didn't find out any other way.

I wouldn't want either but to me it would be easier to forgive him for it, if he told me.

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Well the both of them cheated, on each other. The one that one cheated by kissing is way better then the one who had sexual relations with another person. They both kept it in. One finally confessed, which is good. Confessing your sins is better then keeping it in and finding out the hard way. Its better to cheat and just tell the person instead of cheating and lying about it. Its better to be with the person who is open about it rather then the one that just hides it.

In the end once a cheater may always be a cheater, to stay with that person its a bit of a gamble. The person cheated at one point or another during a relationship with someone, that person is vonerable to do it again. Now if the person chooses to do it or not then thats a different story. Its like a theif, and when employers ask "if someone was stealing from the store should he or she be fired?". The answer is yes, cause they were stealing for one reason or the other and they may do it again or they may stop but the company cannot take the risk. So its like the same principals for cheating.

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"if someone was stealing from the store should he or she be fired?". The answer is yes, cause they were stealing for one reason or the other and they may do it again or they may stop but the company cannot take the risk.

hmm i like this comparison about the store...THOUGH...dont you think (and this depends obviously ALOT on the person) that if the person stole, got in trouble for it, maybe even jail for days or whatever...depending on the crime...dont you think when they got out, or finished with the punishment, they would know not to do it again? SOME PUNISHMENTS r tough!

and in this case of cheating, they both (both=this is almost like if the manager stole right?) did it and understood it was wrong, got punishment, and i think they have both learned. so Although very hard to do, and maybe not always convinient, do you still think there is a chance? they ARE just people, with feelings, who do love each other...do u think there is still a posibility that there is something there?

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A and B both suck.

 

Didn't they both lie? Didn't they both cheat? Didn't they both tell the truth? I think the real issue isn't about what's worse, it's why they felt the need to cheat in the first place. If they want things to work out, then they need to address that part of their relationship. Probably need to work on the communication thing too, since they waited so long to tell the truth.

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I think A and B are playing a game of t i t for tat and they are both wrong. Neither have been honest or trustworthy. I would not say one is better than the other because neither are charecteristic of a loving and committed relationship.

 

I'd say A and B need to rethink what they are looking for because mistrust like this suggests neither was fulfilled in their relationship or either are just not very trustworthy people.

 

Both lied. One just lied AND slept with another person. It is interesting that A and B would be more concerned over who committed the deeper wrong than why those wrongs were committed in the first place.

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hmm i like this comparison about the store...THOUGH...dont you think (and this depends obviously ALOT on the person) that if the person stole, got in trouble for it, maybe even jail for days or whatever...depending on the crime...dont you think when they got out, or finished with the punishment, they would know not to do it again? SOME PUNISHMENTS r tough!

 

Its a very good comparison, its practically the same thing as cheating only a bit differnt. You are right, it does depend on the the person and why he or she did steal in the first place. I would hope that they would know not to do it again and not do it. But some people are easily influenced and get tempted tp do it again and again. Anyways it comes they would get fired from the job because the company cannot risk keeping that person on the job.

 

 

and in this case of cheating, they both (both=this is almost like if the manager stole right?) did it and understood it was wrong, got punishment, and i think they have both learned. so Although very hard to do, and maybe not always convinient, do you still think there is a chance? they ARE just people, with feelings, who do love each other...do u think there is still a posibility that there is something there?

 

 

Anything is possible. But the real question that needs to be asked before your question can be answered is "Why did they cheat on each other in the first place?". Once you have the answer to that question you can see if they still have feelings for each other and then you can come up with conclusion if they still have a chance with each other and if there is something left in the relationship or if something is missing.

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My husband cheated on me and lied right to MY FACE about it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again for 10 years.

 

He also had at LEAST 2 one night stands with woman who were complete strangers who he met via the Internet that he lied about for 2 and 3 years as well.

 

I found out this information MYSELF. ONLY in the face of THE TRUTH did he even begin to admitt it.

 

To be cheated on and lied to are both HORRIBLE betrayals.

 

To be DECEIVED for YEARS is just uncomprehendible. It is like living with a stranger.

 

To answer your question: IF my husband had come home after the FIRST affair and told me THE TRUTH and shown remorse, we could have worked it out. But THIS TYPE of deception that he has put me through?? I cannot even wrap my brain around it...the pain in unbearable. The DECEPTION hurts more than the fact that he had 3 affairs.

 

It's the complete BETRAYAL...the DECEPTION...how could be do this and then come home and "live" with me like nothing was wrong? How could he look me in the eye? How could he lay in bed next to me? Make love to me, KNOWING that he was exposing me to HIV (he did not wear a condom with his one night stands, who were woman he met off the Internet), how could he celebrate Holidays with me...live with me day in and day out, act so normal...Who is this man?

 

I would rather be cheated on than deceived. I NEVER saw this coming. I feel violated....I lived with a Stranger for 12 years. He knows me to my very soul...yet I knew NOTHING about the real him.......

 

Allie

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umm I think lying is worse.. lying leads to cheating too Besides I rather have someone tell me the truth about cheating and why etc. then maybe there is a chance because they were being honest about it.. instead of catching them in the act! You cant really have a good relationship if you have no trust...

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