Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    120
    Gender
    Female

    Exclamation whats worse cheating or lying?

    ok...as to not take sides...heres a scenario..tell me what you think...

    its a relationship of A and B...theyve been together for 2 years in a long distance relationship, its been fine until now, they see each other every so often, but enough, and they both really love each other. A cheated on B...(had intercourse with X) in the summer, and lets B know this a few weeks ago. B accepts it, of course B is angry and frustarted at the fact of what A did, but thinks they can get through it. B starts being a bit rude, B is angry with A, saying A is mean, and a hypocryte, and that A lies and its bad because A never told B what happened. few days pass, and things are rough, both probably feel like sh*t...THEN...B says "i think i needed to tell you this, but i cheated too in june" (kissing with Y)...A says its horrible what B did because now who is the hypocyte and liar?

    so whos worse? i understand cheating wise, obviously A right? logical. but what about lying and keeping it in for longer? does comunication not matter? or is physical cheating worse than lying about cheating? im confused...
    please dont relate this to boy or girl, or good or bad...just please tell me what you think.
    why think of yesterdays when all we have are tomorrows and todays

  2. #2
    Platinum Member HappyAsALark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    The Burg
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,001
    Gender
    Female
    To be honest, I would rather be with someone that cheats that tells me about it, than with someone who lies to me constantly. I mean, really, I wouldn't be with either, but if I HAD to choose, I would choose the honest cheater.
    I like to duct tape jumbo bags of potato chips to the bottoms on my shoes and stomp around like I am Godzilla.

    Formerly/Formally(dako says tomato, i say tomatoe) itsmylife99

  3. #3
    Gold Member IronLion85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,490
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by PersonalMe View Post
    ok...as to not take sides...heres a scenario..tell me what you think...

    its a relationship of A and B...theyve been together for 2 years in a long distance relationship, its been fine until now, they see each other every so often, but enough, and they both really love each other. A cheated on B...(had intercourse with X) in the summer, and lets B know this a few weeks ago. B accepts it, of course B is angry and frustarted at the fact of what A did, but thinks they can get through it. B starts being a bit rude, B is angry with A, saying A is mean, and a hypocryte, and that A lies and its bad because A never told B what happened. few days pass, and things are rough, both probably feel like sh*t...THEN...B says "i think i needed to tell you this, but i cheated too in june" (kissing with Y)...A says its horrible what B did because now who is the hypocyte and liar?

    so whos worse? i understand cheating wise, obviously A right? logical. but what about lying and keeping it in for longer? does comunication not matter? or is physical cheating worse than lying about cheating? im confused...
    please dont relate this to boy or girl, or good or bad...just please tell me what you think.
    I think it's less of a big deal to keep kissing someone a secret than having intercourse and coming clean with it. I think any kind of cheating is horrible, obviously, but there's differences in severity. A kiss is pretty minor compared to sex...
    "Whenever I meet a beauty, I escape or hide in a corner. Not that I think they are intimidating, but they attract horrible people. Some guys really do their utmost to make these beautiful women believe how good they are..." - Thom Yorke

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    91
    Gender
    Female
    If my boyfriend/husband cheated on me and told me lets just say a day or so after he had, i would be more likely to forgive him then had i found out on my own. He may have waited a day or so but at least he was honest and i didn't find out any other way.
    I wouldn't want either but to me it would be easier to forgive him for it, if he told me.

  5. #5
    Gold Member glegend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Age
    24
    Posts
    2,656
    Gender
    Male
    Well the both of them cheated, on each other. The one that one cheated by kissing is way better then the one who had sexual relations with another person. They both kept it in. One finally confessed, which is good. Confessing your sins is better then keeping it in and finding out the hard way. Its better to cheat and just tell the person instead of cheating and lying about it. Its better to be with the person who is open about it rather then the one that just hides it.
    In the end once a cheater may always be a cheater, to stay with that person its a bit of a gamble. The person cheated at one point or another during a relationship with someone, that person is vonerable to do it again. Now if the person chooses to do it or not then thats a different story. Its like a theif, and when employers ask "if someone was stealing from the store should he or she be fired?". The answer is yes, cause they were stealing for one reason or the other and they may do it again or they may stop but the company cannot take the risk. So its like the same principals for cheating.
    The car doesn't make the driver, the driver makes the car

    It's not the ride, it's the rider.

  6. #6
    Silver Member MissTee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    357
    They're as bad as eachother.

    I would feel betrayed either way.
    Some village somewhere is missing it's idiot...

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    120
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by glegend View Post
    "if someone was stealing from the store should he or she be fired?". The answer is yes, cause they were stealing for one reason or the other and they may do it again or they may stop but the company cannot take the risk.
    hmm i like this comparison about the store...THOUGH...dont you think (and this depends obviously ALOT on the person) that if the person stole, got in trouble for it, maybe even jail for days or whatever...depending on the crime...dont you think when they got out, or finished with the punishment, they would know not to do it again? SOME PUNISHMENTS r tough!
    and in this case of cheating, they both (both=this is almost like if the manager stole right?) did it and understood it was wrong, got punishment, and i think they have both learned. so Although very hard to do, and maybe not always convinient, do you still think there is a chance? they ARE just people, with feelings, who do love each other...do u think there is still a posibility that there is something there?
    why think of yesterdays when all we have are tomorrows and todays

  8. #8
    Gold Member Weeblie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    land of eternal sunshine
    Age
    33
    Posts
    990
    Gender
    Female
    A and B both suck.

    Didn't they both lie? Didn't they both cheat? Didn't they both tell the truth? I think the real issue isn't about what's worse, it's why they felt the need to cheat in the first place. If they want things to work out, then they need to address that part of their relationship. Probably need to work on the communication thing too, since they waited so long to tell the truth.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member littlestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    30
    Posts
    3,514
    Gender
    Female
    Cheating involves lying and betrayl, there isnt such a thing as honest cheating. They are as worse as each other.
    Cheating on someone and telling them you did it, doesnt make it any better than cheating on someone and lying about it or not telling them about it.
    If you do nothing, nothing is going to happen, if you do something, something might happen, The Future is yours, do something about it!

  10. #10
    JadedStar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    On a star far, far away...
    Posts
    16,154
    I think A and B are playing a game of t i t for tat and they are both wrong. Neither have been honest or trustworthy. I would not say one is better than the other because neither are charecteristic of a loving and committed relationship.

    I'd say A and B need to rethink what they are looking for because mistrust like this suggests neither was fulfilled in their relationship or either are just not very trustworthy people.

    Both lied. One just lied AND slept with another person. It is interesting that A and B would be more concerned over who committed the deeper wrong than why those wrongs were committed in the first place.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
CallChat
$3/minute
Feeling pain, anger, humiliation, guilt? Let me help you as you go through the emotions of infidelity. I'll listen and lend support.
Online
CallChat
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Call Now and Feel Better. Compassionate, caring, sound advice. "I felt so much better after talking to Robert" "Very wise and helpful."
Online
Chat
$2.75/minute
Licensed Counselor and Therapist. 28 yrs working with individuals/ families. 8yrs online. Fast typist. Empathic insight. Effective tools.
Online
CallChat
$2.75/minute
Infidelity is not a one-size fits all phenomenon. If your partner is engaging in sex with someone else or you are, that fact alone is not sufficient to explain it's meaning.
Online
Chat
$1.75/minute
Infidelity is one of the worst betrayals a person can go through. I am here to help you get through this difficult time.