What's worse in society, being an unattractive female or unattractive male?

I'm just asking this because of Ken012's smiliar threads reminds me how difficult it can be for unattractive females as well.

Personally I think being an unattractive female is worse in society. Men are too visual and women emphasize financial security and personality moreso. An unattractive male is more likely to be seen with a pretty female where it's rare to see an unattractive female with a handsome male.

What do you think?

I would say being without limbs or without sight or without hearing are probably worse, or having another form of disability that means you cannot do very much in life at all.

Most of us care about what people think...so I think its worse for women seeking a mate or power or other things than it is for males. But attractiveness fades over time so its better to not focus too much on it.

I think that looks cease to become important once you get to know a person. I know plenty of girls who would not be conventionally attractive, but have the confidence to sell themselves in the midst of many insecure pretty girls and they can certainly outdo them in the b/f stakes! Confidence makes its own attractiveness.

I would beg to differ on this one!

Actually it's rare to see either. I'd say couples are usually pretty evenly-matched in terms of looks - an no, I'm not about to start 'ranking' people's aesthetics against each other here, I'm just saying that 'good looking' people are seen with good looking people. In my view.

I'd also say that both men and women have it equally hard when it comes to being seen as 'unattractive'.

And it's Ken2012 .

I think that looks cease to become important once you get to know a person. I know plenty of girls who would not be conventionally attractive, but have the confidence to sell themselves in the midst of many insecure pretty girls and they can certainly outdo them in the b/f stakes! Confidence makes its own attractiveness.

 

I would beg to differ on this one!

Confidence is sexy, but it also has it's limits.

However, we are all also attracted to different things.

What I would tell you that I find very weird is that among may of my close friends the women we pictured, were not the women we ended up marrying. My buddy who likes thin blondes, ended up with a brunette. My buddy who likes olve-skinned women with hips, he got fair with a slender build. I've seen it happen time and again. The one you think you really do not want is the one to which you become attached.

However, as far as the original post is concerned, a woman who is less physically attractive would have ti worse than a man as equally unatteactive physically. Looks matter less for a guy, and in addition, some men will seek a woman for sex no matter what she looks like, only to leave as soon as the act is done. So, the woman attracts less men, and when she does attract, she needs to be wary.

I'm gonna say what I've said before when topics like this come up (and for some reason this will cause people to vehemently disagree with me):

Everyone has challenges in every area of life, including meeting/dating/mating.

Setting up a mindset that this group has it easier or that group has it harder serves no good, useful purpose.

Those you think have it "easier" may be dealing with things you hadn't even considered (and wouldn't want to deal with anyway). Those you think have it "harder" may be just fine with how things are for them.

There are more constructive ways of looking at it than trying to figure out who's got it "easier" or "harder." Like, "How can I overcome the unique set of challenges I face? What can I do differently/better?"

Really, it just boils down to that old question..."Is the glass half empty or is it half full?"

The only right answer to that is that the glass IS. What it looks like to you is only a reflection of your own thoughts. I've yet to have anyone tell me how hanging on to the thought, "It's harder for me because (fill in the blank with whatever self-percieved flaw you want to use today)" serves them in any useful, positive way.

if i must answer

an unattractive female, beacuse hordes of men look at facial features.......before they look on whats on the inside.

Hmmmmmmmm,

I'd have to say that EVERYONE is attractive to someone! And, as they say, beauty is only skin deep! So I don't think there is a "worse" scenario here!

I'm just asking this because of Ken012's smiliar threads reminds me how difficult it can be for unattractive females as well.

 

Personally I think being an unattractive female is worse in society. Men are too visual and women emphasize financial security and personality moreso. An unattractive male is more likely to be seen with a pretty female where it's rare to see an unattractive female with a handsome male.

 

What do you think?

Being beautiful and selfish on the outside and ugly on the inside - and that goes for both sexes.

I don't think it really matters for either if what you are talking about is getting jobs and promotions. It won't help you but in a way you might ve disadvantaged in competition with sexually attractive people. I have heard that some studies show that good looking people receive more job offers with better pay.

Unless you're hideously ugly I don't think it matters all that much it just won't help you.

I don't think it really matters for either if what you are talking about is getting jobs and promotions. It won't help you but in a way you might ve disadvantaged in competition with sexually attractive people. I have heard that some studies show that good looking people receive more job offers with better pay.

 

Unless you're hideously ugly I don't think it matters all that much it just won't help you.

He's not talking about jobs and promotions. I'm not disagreeing with you here, but it's irrelevant to the subject at hand.

He is talking about attracting members of the opposite sex. That is, who has it harder when it comes to (bad) looks.

I don't think so he specified the questions as "what is worse in society" and then he explained what his perceptions of how men and women define "attractive". It was an open ended type of question and I am answering it as it is written. Attraction and flirting pertain to much more in life than just having a sexual relationship. They are very basic social tools.

I'm not just speaking from bias here, but I think it's worse to be an unattractive female. What guy is going to approach an ugly girl? I didn't get much attention from guys until I was about 17 and changed the way I look. Before that I was mostly likely seen as disgusting and the type of girl that guys only joke about approaching to their buddies. I didn't consider having a bf a possibility, and honestly it probably wasn't.

Now I know it's tough for guys, but really, girls are less visual. If a guy makes me feel good it's not going to matter what he looks like. Well, as long as he looks human.

I think that it is worse being a physically unattractive female, because, in my experience, most men focus on looks primarily - only if you meet the "looks" requirement, will men then consider other factors like personality, intelligence, etc. If a woman doesn't meet the "looks" requirement, then she is rejected outright, no second chances.

I am definitely not beautiful (and don't really consider myself pretty, either) and although I have no problem getting a date, I rarely get a second date even if we have a good time, seem compatable and the guy tells me that he wants to see me again.

On the other hand, a lot of women, including myself, are not that picky when it comes to how men look. I don't go for the "model" type and don't mind if a guy has a few (or more) extra pounds on his frame. Personality/compability matter most to me.

I think being attractive is more important to a woman than it is to a man.

But there are always exceptions to every general rule. For example, one time after getting to know a girl as a friend who was not considered attractive by most guys, I came to find her to be very, very attractive once I actually got to know her.

Actually it's rare to see either. I'd say couples are usually pretty evenly-matched in terms of looks - an no, I'm not about to start 'ranking' people's aesthetics against each other here, I'm just saying that 'good looking' people are seen with good looking people. In my view.

If this is what you believe, then you have a skewed view of reality. I hardly ever see good looking guys with ugly girls. Ugly guys get the most attractive girls all the time.

I'd also say that both men and women have it equally hard when it comes to being seen as 'unattractive'.

Untrue. Men can use their brain, mouth, and body language to overpower the negative effect of being unattractive. Women can't do this and have to play with the hand their dealt.

If we are talking about average to slightly below average attractiveness, men have it much much worse IMO, so I disagree with most everyone in the thread.

Go on link removed, notice that the general attractiveness level of men is very much higher than the general attractiveness level of women. Even the mediocre and below women are getting 10 emails for every 1 the best-looking men get. Below a certain level of attractiveness, let's say 5/10 or below, a man will get absolutely no response from women... none, whereas a 5/10 woman will get much more attention, especially if she is not overweight, probably due to men being the traditional pursuers.

Also, Kevin James types aside (and he actually has quite a handsome face), it is much easier for an overweight woman to get male attention than for an overweight male to get female attention.

When watching couples, I often hear people, male and female, say "what's she doing with him?? she could do so much better," whereas I almost never hear, "what's he doing with her?? he could do so much better." And as much as people talk about good looking women dating less attractive men, the actuality is FAR more attractive men date less attractive women. Look at the wedding pictures in your local paper for a month to bear this out. You will RARELY see an attractive woman marrying an unattractive man, but will OFTEN see attractive men marrying unattractive women.

Now, if the question was which sex has a better chance of overcoming attractiveness issues via personality, men definitely have the upper hand.

EDIT: wanted to add that in every social circle of the many I've been involved with over the years, the women will continually desire the top 10% of the male pool REGARDLESS of whether the males are already pursued or even taken (ironically competition from other women increases the male's desirability), and will continue to seek upgrades until they believe they are doing the best they will do, whereas men will take what they can get and become comfortable, thus the cliche "women marry hoping to change their man and men marry hoping their woman doesn't change." It is so much harder being a less attractive man than a less attractive woman that the question is laughable.

If this is what you believe, then you have a skewed view of reality. I hardly ever see good looking guys with ugly girls. Ugly guys get the most attractive girls all the time.

I agree. I'm ugly as hell but I had 2 girlfriends 9+/10.

If this is what you believe, then you have a skewed view of reality. I hardly ever see good looking guys with ugly girls. Ugly guys get the most attractive girls all the time.

 

 

Untrue. Men can use their brain, mouth, and body language to overpower the negative effect of being unattractive. Women can't do this and have to play with the hand their dealt.

I've seen good looking guys with hot girls. And I think, "What the hell is HE doing with HER?" But admittably, it IS quite rare. I see it maybe every few hundred people at school. And yes, they are dating, because they be holdin' hands.

I agree with women having it tougher. They have to sit back, look pretty and expect for a man to approach them. That's not tough in itself, but if you're unattractive... then I imagine it must be really hard to take, when no one flirts with you, approaches you or bothers with you. I know how I feel and I'm a guy! Must be even worse for females, considering it is a fact that men go more for looks than women do.

I agree. I'm ugly as hell but I had 2 girlfriends 9+/10.

This gives me hope.

I'm no longer even sure if I really am unattractive at all anymore, but if I am, this is good, because it means even I have hope!

I'm not just speaking from bias here, but I think it's worse to be an unattractive female. What guy is going to approach an ugly girl? I didn't get much attention from guys until I was about 17 and changed the way I look. Before that I was mostly likely seen as disgusting and the type of girl that guys only joke about approaching to their buddies. I didn't consider having a bf a possibility, and honestly it probably wasn't.

 

Now I know it's tough for guys, but really, girls are less visual. If a guy makes me feel good it's not going to matter what he looks like. Well, as long as he looks human.

So true. Men are visual creatures first and foremost. We are lying if we say otherwise.

.

 

Go on link removed, notice that the general attractiveness level of men is very much higher than the general attractiveness level of women. Even the mediocre and below women are getting 10 emails for every 1 the best-looking men get. Below a certain level of attractiveness, let's say 5/10 or below, a man will get absolutely no response from women... none, whereas a 5/10 woman will get much more attention, especially if she is not overweight, probably due to men being the traditional pursuers.

I agree with you on this regarding online dating. Unless a guy is really good looking or very good with emails, the women have the upper hand in online dating regarding looks.

In real life though it is a whole different ball game.

Ahhhh......online dating....best way to smash an average to a little below average male's self-esteem! Yes, unless you are drop dead gorgeous or have an incredible career, you are doomed to failure.

So true poster!

I don't agree with this. That all comes down to the fact that most women simply don't take that active role. I don't initiate anything ever, neither do a lot of other women. So guys typically wouldn't receive as many emails on dating sites. It's not simply because he's an average looking man.

I hear the "Why is he dating her?" questions regarding a girl's looks all the time.

If a girl is shallow, she'd be keeping up with her man's appearance all the time. But I don't really care. I'm very picky when it comes to personality though, and for this reason the top 10% of the male pool you refer to probably wouldn't appeal to me. Average looking men are generally the best, in my opinion. But most men will refer to being with a girl who isn't that pretty as "settling." Most men (and you can see on this forum) feel entitled to a beautiful woman. But I've seen far less women determine a man's worth by his "hotness." Edit: Unless it's a group of 12 year olds.

This gives me hope.

 

I'm no longer even sure if I really am unattractive at all anymore, but if I am, this is good, because it means even I have hope!

 

I'm a guitar player. We're allowed to be ugly The uglyer, the better.