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  1. #1
    Member phishy_go_swim's Avatar
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    Three sum sex in long term relationships?

    Alright I do not like the idea of My boyfriend and I having a three sum with another girl.I just could never get turned on by that and in truth watching the person who I love more than anything with another girl would break my heart and make me sick. I won't do it. But he likes the idea of being with me and another girl and I just don't get it.Especially considering that I have asked him if he would like to see another guy having sex with me and how that would make him feel and he got upset in the same manner that I have when he has presented the issue.I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member musicguy's Avatar
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    if you don't want to have a 3-sum, then don't do it. If he gets upset if you wanted to have a 3sum with 2 guys and you're upset if he wants a 3sum with 2 girls, then this fantasy of his isn't gonna go anywhere.

  3. #3

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    haha its almost as if he wants to cheat, or hes just not pleased enough in bed that he really wants this. that sucks.

    everyone has their own opinions but i believe a girl giving into this has no respect for herself. the guy has no respect for his relationship or significant other. FANTASY OR NOT. you can have a three some in a not so serious relationship if its that much of a fantasy bullsh-t if theres a difference of being in love with one person. if your truely in love than you just wouldn't see another girl in the picture.

    you look young in your picture and gorgeous, dont give into his stupidness. for most guys i hear its a turn off for a girl to have done a three some.

    good luck chica!=]

    and i agree, if you DONT want to, dont give in.

  4. #4
    Silver Member -Ophelia-'s Avatar
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    Having a threesome is not a sign of a healthy relationship. My honest opinion is that since these are your views on threesomes, then you don't need a man who is being disrespectful to you by vocing these fantasies and actually asking you to act upon them.

    I agree with peanutbutter, asking for a threesome is like asking for permission to cheat. Because who knows, one day you might walk in on them fooling around and his defense will be "babe, you told me I can do it!"

    You know how to tell right from wrong, and for your own sanity, reevaluate the relationship.
    "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
    -Wayne Dyer

  5. #5
    Platinum Member tylercdurden2004's Avatar
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    If you dont want to then dont.

    Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship.

    Its something you really have to want and even then its not always what you expect.

    Using probability: You're not that interested in it. Even if you were its 50/50 at best that it works out.

    you definitely have less than 50% chance of pulling this off. Probably around 10% or less as an uneducated guess.
    "Depend Upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully." - Samuel Johnson

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  6. #6
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    Yup, you gave your thoughts on the idea, so he should drop it. Tell him if your view on the subject ever change, you will let him know.... but don't hold his breath. If you're not into girls, or don't think you would benefit from having one in the bedroom, then there's no point in having a threesome.

    to be honest though, the chances of you or him ever even finding a girl to join you is slim to none.

    I personally don't have a problem with threesomes, FFM only. It's a double standard that makes sense to me.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
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    I was just wondering if anyone knew any happy loving relationships that have been able to have Multiple parters at once and lasted.
    Yes. But the important factor in them was that all the people involved were into that kind of thing to begin with and weren't doing something to please their partner that made them upset, uncomfortable or unsecure in the relationship.
    By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius

    You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too.- Anais Nin

  8. #8
    Gold Member russ978's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tylercdurden2004 View Post
    If you dont want to then dont.

    Some couple try to incorprate this into their regular sex life it rarely leads to a healthy long term monogamous relationship.
    Tyler has this one on the money. If he isn't down with the 2 guys threesome, draw the analogy that you feel the same way about the threesome with two girls. If he still pushes it, just tell him that it isn't something that is going to happen and tell him why you feel it shouldn't (it makes you feel like you don't satisfy him, it makes you feel like you aren't enough, it would make you worry that he wanted to sleep with other women all the time, etc...) I'm sure that he'll have all sorts of excuses about how he loves you and just wants 'the experience' and 'only wants you' but don't fall for it. Just stick to your guns and it will likely be a conversation where you'd have to say the same thing 20+times.

    Sure, it is the typical male (and many females) fantasy but this is one that is best left as a fantasy in my opinion. Some relationships can hold up under it but I haven't heard of many threesome experiences improving a relationship's strength, trust, of faithfullness.

    Don't do it if you value your relationship.
    “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne

  9. #9
    Platinum Member musicguy's Avatar
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    3somes are usually a no strings attached kinda thing, unless there are no attached feelings between both partners than it's fine, but usually they end up breaking up a long term relationship and usually one gets hurt, at times it's the girlfriend who ends up getting hurt

  10. #10
    Platinum Member ghost69's Avatar
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    he is getting to sleep with another girl and your disposal. not good if you aren't comfortable with it. would i have one? yes of course i would. almost did a couple of times actually. but i would not have one with a girl i was in a relationship with.
    Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too.
    Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69
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