Why does this hurt so much? HE left for OW!

AnxiousGirl · 09-04-2007, 01:38 AM

Deleted Deleted Deleted

monkey1 · 09-04-2007, 01:56 AM

yeah this sounds like a big mess and is causing more hurt than good. sounds like maybe you should arrange to get child support from him and call it quits. the relationship seems way to unstable and is definitely unhealthy for your child and you to be dealing with this kind of drama.

<3<3<3 · 09-04-2007, 01:59 AM

im so sorry this happened to you, this must suck unbelievably. Ive never really been through anything like this, so i can't exactly tell you what you should or shouldnt do in a situation like this. I know id be so devestated and upset and hurt. im so truly sorry

all i have to say is please dont stay with someone who doesnt deserve you, let alone cannot even be loyal to you. i hope things get better.

Q-ball · 09-04-2007, 08:37 AM

This is such a terrible and cowardly act. There are so many things that this man has done wrong. He will pay for it in the end.

It hurts so much, because you have the whole basket full of feelings, anger, betrayal, jealousy, insecurities, sadness, and last but not least, your uncertainty/anxiety about what to do now.

Think what it would take to repair this relationship, what it would take for you to be able to take him back into your life and be happy with him. I know for me, it would take a lot, constant reasurring of there love, desparate attempts to get me back, continuous apologies, and unbelievable sensitivity. Basically, just an enormous demonstration of passion and love for me over a long indefinite period of time. It would take a great person. The problem is, great people don't do this to others in the first place. Think, what would it take from him to fix things with you two, and is it a possibility. And do you have enough faith in him to do this for you.

We can not control what people think, feel and do. We can only control ourselves. It seems to me that unless this man has a serious awakening, he will not be able to do this for you, just my opinion. The reason I think this is because he's now got a fork in the road, with you, it will take a lot of work, he's the bad guy, and he has to face up what he's done. The other road is fresh and clean and he's escorted/persuaded by another women. He seems like the type that always takes the easy road. The easy roads always lead downhill.

Great people can still break hearts, but they have the strength to recognize when the relationship is not working, and the courage to end it and fly solo. Your man couldn't do this, to stupid & scared to make a decision and to fly solo, waited and held on, untill this OW came along and persuaded him enough. Only with this other women to help him, did he have the courage to move on.

PLEASE, do not think for one second that this other women is better than you! She is not, women who will seek a man in a relationship like this are desparate and insecure. She will have to live in fear of him doing this to her afterwards. She knows just as well as you do that this man has no guts and is hardly a man, but she is most likely in a desparate state, perhaps she will recognize this down the road and force him through the emotions you're feeling now.

You, are most likely blinded by your love. Which you should be, because your heart sounds pure. It's strange how much we can let someone hurt us and still love them. Just be logical, be strong, and have faith.

I've been dealing with these same feelings these last few weeks too. feel free to write anytime.

09-04-2007, 01:38 AM	#1
AnxiousGirl Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 313	Why does this hurt so much? HE left for OW! Deleted Deleted Deleted Last edited by AnxiousGirl; 09-08-2007 at 03:08 AM.

09-04-2007, 01:59 AM	#3
<3<3<3 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: california Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 129	im so sorry this happened to you, this must suck unbelievably. Ive never really been through anything like this, so i can't exactly tell you what you should or shouldnt do in a situation like this. I know id be so devestated and upset and hurt. im so truly sorry all i have to say is please dont stay with someone who doesnt deserve you, let alone cannot even be loyal to you. i hope things get better. __________________ Jess She smiled in a big way The way a girl like that smiles When the world is hers, And she held your eyes Out in the breezeway, down by the shore In the lazy summer

09-04-2007, 08:37 AM	#4
Q-ball Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 69	This is such a terrible and cowardly act. There are so many things that this man has done wrong. He will pay for it in the end. It hurts so much, because you have the whole basket full of feelings, anger, betrayal, jealousy, insecurities, sadness, and last but not least, your uncertainty/anxiety about what to do now. Think what it would take to repair this relationship, what it would take for you to be able to take him back into your life and be happy with him. I know for me, it would take a lot, constant reasurring of there love, desparate attempts to get me back, continuous apologies, and unbelievable sensitivity. Basically, just an enormous demonstration of passion and love for me over a long indefinite period of time. It would take a great person. The problem is, great people don't do this to others in the first place. Think, what would it take from him to fix things with you two, and is it a possibility. And do you have enough faith in him to do this for you. We can not control what people think, feel and do. We can only control ourselves. It seems to me that unless this man has a serious awakening, he will not be able to do this for you, just my opinion. The reason I think this is because he's now got a fork in the road, with you, it will take a lot of work, he's the bad guy, and he has to face up what he's done. The other road is fresh and clean and he's escorted/persuaded by another women. He seems like the type that always takes the easy road. The easy roads always lead downhill. Great people can still break hearts, but they have the strength to recognize when the relationship is not working, and the courage to end it and fly solo. Your man couldn't do this, to stupid & scared to make a decision and to fly solo, waited and held on, untill this OW came along and persuaded him enough. Only with this other women to help him, did he have the courage to move on. PLEASE, do not think for one second that this other women is better than you! She is not, women who will seek a man in a relationship like this are desparate and insecure. She will have to live in fear of him doing this to her afterwards. She knows just as well as you do that this man has no guts and is hardly a man, but she is most likely in a desparate state, perhaps she will recognize this down the road and force him through the emotions you're feeling now. You, are most likely blinded by your love. Which you should be, because your heart sounds pure. It's strange how much we can let someone hurt us and still love them. Just be logical, be strong, and have faith. I've been dealing with these same feelings these last few weeks too. feel free to write anytime. __________________ "It's a good life if you don't weaken." Gord Downy

09-04-2007, 01:56 AM	#2
monkey1 Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: San Francisco, CA Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 690	yeah this sounds like a big mess and is causing more hurt than good. sounds like maybe you should arrange to get child support from him and call it quits. the relationship seems way to unstable and is definitely unhealthy for your child and you to be dealing with this kind of drama.