ADHD Adults please.....Reply! need help with my son

deperatemom · 08-21-2007, 04:52 PM

I would like ADHD adults to tell me how there are doing in their present life today. All doctors tell us that ADHD adults tend do fine as long as they have been medicated as a child to help them get "through" ...what tips could you as adults give me to help my 7 year old son??? As I do not know anyone who is ADHD. He is smart and non-stop active but sooo creative that it is sometimes dangerous and so active that is non-stop alll day and I am sooo tired and do not want to medicate him again (he was on Ritilin and Adderall, now on an herbal medicine) but feel that school starts soon and will have to. PLease help. Any advice is good. Just tell me what YOUR experience was as an ADHD child and what YOU WISHED someone would have done for you. I am just tired of recieving advice from doctors, counsellors, teachers, therapists, neorsurgeons, psycologists, etc... and not the persons themselves who went through this.THank you

Shin kensen · 08-21-2007, 04:58 PM

I read a thread on another forum about this, I'll search and I'll contact you if I find it

Shin kensen · 08-21-2007, 05:03 PM

Sent in PM

Ash · 08-21-2007, 05:07 PM

Although we don't have kids diagnosed as ADHD we do have super active ones. (one is 10, the other is almost 2) As a child I was diagnosed as "hyper active" (which I don't believe)

Sometimes I think part of it is a failure in the system to deal with very active, intelligent kids. Cutting out sugar can help and is something we try to do as much as possible. Avoiding stimulation at the end of the day is another. Nothing to let them get more wound up. Respond when they talk even if you're not responding to what they're asking. Involve them in what you're doing to see if they can focus on it with you for a while. Give them short, high energy tasks that don't take a lot of time or detailed conversation. For example we get the older one to do tasks that involve going up or down the stairs to fetch things.

I don't know if any of this is any good. It can be really tough, but I don't think medication is the answer in many cases. It can be difficult to stay away from that especially when other's tell you that you should administer it, or tell you you're not doing the right thing, or you're not doing what they would do if they were in your place. Unless they've been in your specific circumstances themselves they can't know what it's like.

Sometimes it comes down to finding something they can take an interest in doing themselves and burn off some of the boundless energy they have, and keep occupied in the process. Luckily our two very active ones are so inquisitive that they'll actually pay attention and watch and learn when something is shown to them.

I'm sorry I can't offer anything concrete though. You sound a little harried and worried by it all.

southerngirl · 08-21-2007, 05:23 PM

As a child I was always intelligent. I got bored easily and talked a mile a minute.

As an adult i am much the same way but I believe this is what makes me who I am.

My son is the same, he is 9 and is like a mini me. He's like an energizer bunny and is non stop all over the place. Its exhausting! I knew when he was about 3 that there was most definitely something unique about him! He was so energetic!!! I talked on my occasions with family about it and I recall something my grandmother told me. She said that years ago there were kids that were hyper, parents kept them busy with projects and chores and sports! Those kids today have all grown up and you would never know they were one of 'them'. Years ago they didn't have this over use of medications that they have today. She said no way should I ever put him on medication.

Bring us back to the present. I went to a doctor for personal reasons dealing with grief and loss. His first thing to say was that I am undiagnosed ADD and that if I take these little pills it would magically fix everything. I don't get it. He also tested my son and told me to put him on medication but I am torn. I do not trust the doc. he just wants to push pills on me. I haven't gone back either. Who am I to change who this boy is supposed to be? Maybe he will grow to do great things!! I believe that most of the movers and shakers in this world may all have some sort of this same uniqueness. Do you think the mad scientists do?? I sure do. Thinking outside the box is a gift and I am not going to medicate my own son or myself.

HealingHandsWarmHeart · 08-22-2007, 12:20 PM

As far as how to care for son... my best advise.. (as an adult with ADD).. is to keep things simple for him, give him frequent breaks while doing homework, be patient, get him in a tutoring program so he can keep up with his school work, don't fault him for his behavior, get him involved in activities so he can expend some of that energy and stay focused on the positive aspects of his personality.

i had ADHD as a child, i was on medication ... the dr's told my parents that i would "grow out" of my ADD... as an adult i struggled a lot... i suffered with touches of anxiety and depression, self esteem issues ... i was unorganized and would forget things ...and was careless in my relationships.

I went to see a therapist over the winter... he basically said.. you aren't depressed.. you have ADD ...and told me to research ADD symptoms in female adults.. and i was very surprised at what i have found.

I have been on medication for about... 4-5 months..and i can honestly say that i feel a major difference.. i no longer have little waves of depression, i'm less forgetful.. my job has noticed a difference (even though they don't know i'm on any meds) .. my family have noticed..and I hope that my friends have too.

I dont think that ADD is something you grow out of... when i talked to my doc about it.. he said ..'what do you think you wake up on your 18th birthday ..and your brainwaves all of a sudden function normal" ...and when you put it like that.... it makes sense.

Jen35 · 08-24-2007, 12:19 AM

I am ADHD - and have done very well. As a matter of fact, I am a special education teacher. I do need to take medication of course to stay on task - but I have a master's degree - so obviously I can function well enough to earn two degrees.

To ease your fears abit - some very famous people in history are thought to have been ADHD. Einstein for example! People with ADHD are very creative. The most difficult thing for us is being able to focus on one thing long enough to get it out - that's where the meds come in - try to limit the chaos around your son too. I mean - more is not always better. For us it is sometimes very confusing - frusterating!

Did you know a cup of coffee settles me down - where as caffiene would generally boost those without ADHD up. Mountain Dew would work too.

As a special needs teacher - having ADHD has its perks. Kids with ADHD need a lot of structure and few distractions. They need to do lots of hands on activities - where they can move around. Computer games aren't exactly a good thing for kids with ADHD because they give the kids an adreline boost without the actual physical adjacent. With all of the special effects in games today - a person with ADHD might get frusterated/tense/aggrivated because of all the stimulus! Sounds weird I know - but it's true. Let me know..

Jen35 · 08-24-2007, 12:30 AM

I wrote another reply to your post - but I forgot to add this. I wasn't diagnosed ADHD as a child. However, when I started teaching gifted students Spanish - I realized something was definitely wrong with me. I knew something needed to be done. I mean - I always struggled with paying attention as a child, I also had a forgetful sense about me. Anyhow, I went to see my doctor - and he suggested I try adderol. He stated, come back in two days and tell me how your doing. I took the medication - and it was like someone lifted a veil from my eyes. I also felt like things were crystal clear around me. I could hear things clearly for the first time - without all of the outside noise - and it no longer bothered me that someone was tapping their pencil, chewing their gum too loudly, or doodling on a piece of paper. I could still stay focused on my lesson. Sometimes the worst thing you can do is not give your child or yourself the help that they need. Try it -

When I went back to see my doctor I told him how I was feeling - I said to him - is this how everyone feels - is this how I am supposed to feel? He said yes! I couldn't believe that I struggled for so long - when that is all it took. Sure I managed to get two degrees without medication - but I have to tell you - it wouldn't have mattered much because I was ready to throw it all away without the medication. I just couldn't teach well without staying on task - and a teacher that can't teach isn't really a teacher - right?
I would allow atleast a trial period - if afterwards - you still feel the same way - then stop taking the meds - Then you can atleast say you tried>

Eleora · 08-24-2007, 02:12 AM

Hi there,

I am a ADHD - Diagnosed at 14..... I stopped taking medication when i was about 18.... I couldnt stand the medication, it made me so moody as soon as it wore off and i was short tempered and vilent... The medication also makes you not hungry & I could never sleep... When i quit taking the pills all i could do for like a month was eat eat eat and sleep sleep sleep... I think that is the bodys way of saying that it has to catch up....

I dont really recomend medication... I had a troubled teenage years and blame most of it on the pills and my parents...

I use to have a tutor and i felt that i learned much more when with the tutor 1 on 1 other than in the class room i was always trying to be the class clown etc. Also less sugar preservitabves help lots AND NO WHITE BREAD. WHITE BREAD IS THE WORST THING FOR ADD, its something they use in it, I eat multi grain and when i have white bread these days i feel like i have had 8 cups of coffee...

I am quite sucsessfull, i am a Design manager in comercial construction and i have a diploma in beauty thearapy so ADHD people can do anything if they want to......

I hope my post helps - if you need anymore info please personal message me

Good luck xoxoxox

Rainmkr65 · 06-09-2009, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eleora

Hi there,

I am a ADHD - Diagnosed at 14..... I stopped taking medication when i was about 18.... I couldnt stand the medication, it made me so moody as soon as it wore off and i was short tempered and vilent... The medication also makes you not hungry & I could never sleep... When i quit taking the pills all i could do for like a month was eat eat eat and sleep sleep sleep... I think that is the bodys way of saying that it has to catch up....

I dont really recomend medication... I had a troubled teenage years and blame most of it on the pills and my parents...

I use to have a tutor and i felt that i learned much more when with the tutor 1 on 1 other than in the class room i was always trying to be the class clown etc. Also less sugar preservitabves help lots AND NO WHITE BREAD. WHITE BREAD IS THE WORST THING FOR ADD, its something they use in it, I eat multi grain and when i have white bread these days i feel like i have had 8 cups of coffee...

I am quite sucsessfull, i am a Design manager in comercial construction and i have a diploma in beauty thearapy so ADHD people can do anything if they want to......

I hope my post helps - if you need anymore info please personal message me

Good luck xoxoxox

Iwas diagnosed at almost 30 yo. I remember it was very hard as a kid and tough to communicate because my brain neurons were firing so quickly that I lost people in a conversation. Still do occasionally. On the other hand, certain professions are ideal for the condition. For example, I was a Floor trader on a National Stock Exchange for many years, it was a definite advantage because you didn't want the other guy knowing what you were saying anyways (lol). THE BIGGEST HELP came from a book I found by Dave Allen (Getting things Done, Ready for anything). PLEASE do you son a favor and get him using the system when he gets older.

Always remember- "If everything is under control, then you're going too slow"
-Mario Andretti

08-21-2007, 04:52 PM	#1
deperatemom Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Canada Gender: Female Posts: 9	ADHD Adults please.....Reply! need help with my son I would like ADHD adults to tell me how there are doing in their present life today. All doctors tell us that ADHD adults tend do fine as long as they have been medicated as a child to help them get "through" ...what tips could you as adults give me to help my 7 year old son??? As I do not know anyone who is ADHD. He is smart and non-stop active but sooo creative that it is sometimes dangerous and so active that is non-stop alll day and I am sooo tired and do not want to medicate him again (he was on Ritilin and Adderall, now on an herbal medicine) but feel that school starts soon and will have to. PLease help. Any advice is good. Just tell me what YOUR experience was as an ADHD child and what YOU WISHED someone would have done for you. I am just tired of recieving advice from doctors, counsellors, teachers, therapists, neorsurgeons, psycologists, etc... and not the persons themselves who went through this.THank you Last edited by deperatemom; 08-21-2007 at 04:55 PM.

08-21-2007, 04:58 PM	#2
Shin kensen Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Lancaster University Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 400	I read a thread on another forum about this, I'll search and I'll contact you if I find it __________________ Shin K

08-21-2007, 05:03 PM	#3
Shin kensen Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Lancaster University Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 400	Sent in PM __________________ Shin K

08-21-2007, 05:07 PM	#4
Ash Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Age: 46 Posts: 1,868	Although we don't have kids diagnosed as ADHD we do have super active ones. (one is 10, the other is almost 2) As a child I was diagnosed as "hyper active" (which I don't believe) Sometimes I think part of it is a failure in the system to deal with very active, intelligent kids. Cutting out sugar can help and is something we try to do as much as possible. Avoiding stimulation at the end of the day is another. Nothing to let them get more wound up. Respond when they talk even if you're not responding to what they're asking. Involve them in what you're doing to see if they can focus on it with you for a while. Give them short, high energy tasks that don't take a lot of time or detailed conversation. For example we get the older one to do tasks that involve going up or down the stairs to fetch things. I don't know if any of this is any good. It can be really tough, but I don't think medication is the answer in many cases. It can be difficult to stay away from that especially when other's tell you that you should administer it, or tell you you're not doing the right thing, or you're not doing what they would do if they were in your place. Unless they've been in your specific circumstances themselves they can't know what it's like. Sometimes it comes down to finding something they can take an interest in doing themselves and burn off some of the boundless energy they have, and keep occupied in the process. Luckily our two very active ones are so inquisitive that they'll actually pay attention and watch and learn when something is shown to them. I'm sorry I can't offer anything concrete though. You sound a little harried and worried by it all. __________________ Wisdom can come with youth ... my friends here prove it everyday.

08-21-2007, 05:23 PM	#5
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	As a child I was always intelligent. I got bored easily and talked a mile a minute. As an adult i am much the same way but I believe this is what makes me who I am. My son is the same, he is 9 and is like a mini me. He's like an energizer bunny and is non stop all over the place. Its exhausting! I knew when he was about 3 that there was most definitely something unique about him! He was so energetic!!! I talked on my occasions with family about it and I recall something my grandmother told me. She said that years ago there were kids that were hyper, parents kept them busy with projects and chores and sports! Those kids today have all grown up and you would never know they were one of 'them'. Years ago they didn't have this over use of medications that they have today. She said no way should I ever put him on medication. Bring us back to the present. I went to a doctor for personal reasons dealing with grief and loss. His first thing to say was that I am undiagnosed ADD and that if I take these little pills it would magically fix everything. I don't get it. He also tested my son and told me to put him on medication but I am torn. I do not trust the doc. he just wants to push pills on me. I haven't gone back either. Who am I to change who this boy is supposed to be? Maybe he will grow to do great things!! I believe that most of the movers and shakers in this world may all have some sort of this same uniqueness. Do you think the mad scientists do?? I sure do. Thinking outside the box is a gift and I am not going to medicate my own son or myself. __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

08-22-2007, 12:20 PM	#6
HealingHandsWarmHeart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,605	As far as how to care for son... my best advise.. (as an adult with ADD).. is to keep things simple for him, give him frequent breaks while doing homework, be patient, get him in a tutoring program so he can keep up with his school work, don't fault him for his behavior, get him involved in activities so he can expend some of that energy and stay focused on the positive aspects of his personality. i had ADHD as a child, i was on medication ... the dr's told my parents that i would "grow out" of my ADD... as an adult i struggled a lot... i suffered with touches of anxiety and depression, self esteem issues ... i was unorganized and would forget things ...and was careless in my relationships. I went to see a therapist over the winter... he basically said.. you aren't depressed.. you have ADD ...and told me to research ADD symptoms in female adults.. and i was very surprised at what i have found. I have been on medication for about... 4-5 months..and i can honestly say that i feel a major difference.. i no longer have little waves of depression, i'm less forgetful.. my job has noticed a difference (even though they don't know i'm on any meds) .. my family have noticed..and I hope that my friends have too. I dont think that ADD is something you grow out of... when i talked to my doc about it.. he said ..'what do you think you wake up on your 18th birthday ..and your brainwaves all of a sudden function normal" ...and when you put it like that.... it makes sense. __________________ “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~ Ghandi

08-24-2007, 12:19 AM	#7
Jen35 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 6	I am ADHD - and have done very well. As a matter of fact, I am a special education teacher. I do need to take medication of course to stay on task - but I have a master's degree - so obviously I can function well enough to earn two degrees. To ease your fears abit - some very famous people in history are thought to have been ADHD. Einstein for example! People with ADHD are very creative. The most difficult thing for us is being able to focus on one thing long enough to get it out - that's where the meds come in - try to limit the chaos around your son too. I mean - more is not always better. For us it is sometimes very confusing - frusterating! Did you know a cup of coffee settles me down - where as caffiene would generally boost those without ADHD up. Mountain Dew would work too. As a special needs teacher - having ADHD has its perks. Kids with ADHD need a lot of structure and few distractions. They need to do lots of hands on activities - where they can move around. Computer games aren't exactly a good thing for kids with ADHD because they give the kids an adreline boost without the actual physical adjacent. With all of the special effects in games today - a person with ADHD might get frusterated/tense/aggrivated because of all the stimulus! Sounds weird I know - but it's true. Let me know..

08-24-2007, 12:30 AM	#8
Jen35 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 6	I wrote another reply to your post - but I forgot to add this. I wasn't diagnosed ADHD as a child. However, when I started teaching gifted students Spanish - I realized something was definitely wrong with me. I knew something needed to be done. I mean - I always struggled with paying attention as a child, I also had a forgetful sense about me. Anyhow, I went to see my doctor - and he suggested I try adderol. He stated, come back in two days and tell me how your doing. I took the medication - and it was like someone lifted a veil from my eyes. I also felt like things were crystal clear around me. I could hear things clearly for the first time - without all of the outside noise - and it no longer bothered me that someone was tapping their pencil, chewing their gum too loudly, or doodling on a piece of paper. I could still stay focused on my lesson. Sometimes the worst thing you can do is not give your child or yourself the help that they need. Try it - When I went back to see my doctor I told him how I was feeling - I said to him - is this how everyone feels - is this how I am supposed to feel? He said yes! I couldn't believe that I struggled for so long - when that is all it took. Sure I managed to get two degrees without medication - but I have to tell you - it wouldn't have mattered much because I was ready to throw it all away without the medication. I just couldn't teach well without staying on task - and a teacher that can't teach isn't really a teacher - right? I would allow atleast a trial period - if afterwards - you still feel the same way - then stop taking the meds - Then you can atleast say you tried>

08-24-2007, 02:12 AM	#9
Eleora Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 20	Hi there, I am a ADHD - Diagnosed at 14..... I stopped taking medication when i was about 18.... I couldnt stand the medication, it made me so moody as soon as it wore off and i was short tempered and vilent... The medication also makes you not hungry & I could never sleep... When i quit taking the pills all i could do for like a month was eat eat eat and sleep sleep sleep... I think that is the bodys way of saying that it has to catch up.... I dont really recomend medication... I had a troubled teenage years and blame most of it on the pills and my parents... I use to have a tutor and i felt that i learned much more when with the tutor 1 on 1 other than in the class room i was always trying to be the class clown etc. Also less sugar preservitabves help lots AND NO WHITE BREAD. WHITE BREAD IS THE WORST THING FOR ADD, its something they use in it, I eat multi grain and when i have white bread these days i feel like i have had 8 cups of coffee... I am quite sucsessfull, i am a Design manager in comercial construction and i have a diploma in beauty thearapy so ADHD people can do anything if they want to...... I hope my post helps - if you need anymore info please personal message me Good luck xoxoxox