Toddler Son Having Nightmares/Night Terrors

[samisue]

My son is 2.5 years old. He is easy to put to bed and has always slept in his own room.

About two weeks ago he seemed to have had a nightmare of some sort. I woke to hear him crying (because he has asthma I still use a monitor). I listened for less than a minute and he started to quiet down. At the very end he said, "No.... No..... No" But not with typically toddler defiance; he sounding very sad and scared, and almost like he was pleading.

Last night was awful. At 3:30am, he is SCREAMING. A bloody murder scream, over and over. I awoke terrified and woke my boyfriend as he starting saying "No" over and over again. I flipped the hall light on and ran down the hall, opened his bedroom door and he was sitting on his bed. His checks were dry (not crying) and he didn't seem to be asleep. He was definitely legitimately scared.

I guess maybe I can't describe this very well, but all parents know their children pretty well and this wasn't right. Just one of those things that gives you that deep-in-the-gut awful feeling. He was scared to be left alone and did come sleep in my room.

Talking about it further with my boyfriend today, I am still a little freaked out. I asked him what he was afraid of, what scared him, etc. He has a strong vocabulary and is very vocal - he said absolutely nothing. He won't respond to my question at all.

Has anyone had an experience like this or know what might be going on? My understanding is that most kids and adults are not all that vocal during nightmares, these are not murmurs, rather blood curdling screams. Night terrors I know can elicit this type of behavior, but I also understand that to be more like sleep walking, in the sense that a child may look at you but not really be awake and it is difficult to wake them.

Any insights are welcome. I want my son to feel safe and secure. Mommy's heart is breaking.

[Lana0120]

There's definitely a problem. It sounds like he may have had some kind of traumatic event that has triggered these nightmares. How has he seemed other than the nightmares?

[samisue]

He behaves perfectly normally. Normal for a 2 year old that is...

That's sort of what I worry too. I don't feel like he should know to say "no" in that way. Maybe that doesn't make much sense. He just sounds like he is trying to stop someone from hurting him. It's nothing that I've read or heard about pertaining to regular ol' little kid nightmares.

[Lana0120]

Hmm... it's good that he's acting normally otherwise, but it still sounds very strange to me. Especially if he's usually quite vocal and refuses to talk about the dream.

[itsallgrand]

Hey. Well, my parents had to deal with this when I was young too. Night terrors. It's been a theme in my life since I was a toddler. Later, I did indeed sleepwalk.
No, no horrible thing happened when I was that little. But it scared my parents to death.

A good doctor is the idea. As a kid, you know what worked for me? A special diet before bed. I'm not even kidding. It could be as simple as the food he is eating.
It could be related to his asthma and his breathing, and him not getting into a proper sleep. Many night terrors and sleeping disorders are related to people not going into a deep enough sleep, or having irregular sleeping due to some interruption physically.

Oh, and I don't remember a thing. I remember crawling in with my folks a few times, but remember feeling safe and loved as a kid. Not the nightmares.

I think some of us are just prone to showing stress of different sorts in different ways. Some get tummy problems, some it sleep.

For sure a doctor. Best wishes.

[samisue]

This is just so terrifying. Thank you for your replies. I definitely feel like a trip to the doctor is in order. I hope that we can fix this.

It's All Grand: Did you "wake up" right away or did the terror continue even with your parents "waking" you. That seems to be a key distinguishing factor with night terrors. Also, could he be "awake" that is open eyes, sitting on his bed the whole time?

I'm thinking of purchasing a video monitor so that I can see him. I also believe doctors are easier to deal with when you have a lot of information the first time.

Thanks again.

[itsallgrand]

The video monitor and going to the doc with info, is a great idea!

Yeah, exactly, with night terrors and sleep walking you can look perfectly awake and yet not be processing or aware of what is happening at all.
Think like a zombie or someone operating on autopilot.

As I got older, I could carry conversations and during my sleep walking bouts actually had times where I left the house. Like a zombie, again, going somewhere familiar and performing something routine.
The people who knew me learned that by asking a few questions relevant to what was going on now, they could find out if I had woken or not. "Do you know what time it is, IAG?" "Sure! It's 5 o'clock and I'm home". Stuff like that.

No, you don't wake up right away. And that is key. It can be VERY scary to have someone startle you out of a real night terror or sleep walk. There is a trick to just letting them come out of it easily, by asking questions and touching them in a comforting way.

The best thing you can do is just be there when he 'wakes' out of it. I never remembered the times, was very vocal even as a kid too - kids with big imaginations seem to have big dreams! - but couldn't answer what had happened.
First, you are sleeping. Next thing you know you are sitting there scared. So it can be disturbing in that it is confusing.

I hope this helps. It is kinda helping me to talk about it! I never knew anyone else who had them growing up as a kid, but my parents somehow managed to make me feel like it was just 'normal and me' and not a big deal.

How was he the day after? Did he go on about his business, or does he seem a bit clingier lately? Wondering if it is sticking with him (emotionally) or forgotten after it is over.

[samisue]

Thanks again!

He was just fine today. He seemed to think it was odd to wake up in bed with me, but he thought it was fun too. I'm not sure he remembers what happened. Again, when I tried to talk to him about it, he seemed unable to address it.

When I went in to his room last night, he was immediately calmed. I gave him a hug, he was not inconsolable as all the web resources say he ought to have been. It was over when I went in to his room. He was still breathing hard, but otherwise calm. I know that nothing ever presents totally "classic" but that's the part that doesn't fit.

Yes, IAG, this totally helps. I'm glad it's good for you to talk about too. I will try also to make sure it isn't a big deal for him and that he feels "normal". Thanks!

[vinnee]

Just to cover any other options, who is his care taker?
If it is someone other than you, you might want to observe your child's demeanor around them without being too obvious. I know everyone has had nightmares, trauma or no, but if it's important enough to go to the doctor then it's important to check all other possibilities too.

[itsallgrand]

That's excellent news that he had a good day regardless.

I'm sorry you had to go through it, as it must be so scary (wouldn't know! I've never seen it happening to someone else).

That is really excellent that he found some fun in it. Kids are so cool.

Good luck, see what happens right, and can't hurt to eliminate all worries with the doc. I hope the little guy is through with it. That could happen too.