Can it work if he's really Christian and I'm not?

vermilion · 07-29-2007, 11:06 PM

He comes from a very religious family. My family is Catholic but most of us don't really attend church.

I recently started going to church with my friends a bit for the youth group. But I didn't really go for any religious reason- I went to meet people and I saw this guy and thought he was really cute and nice and funny, etc.

I admit I feel a bit guilty sometimes that I don't think about God and that sometimes I don't even believe in him. I guess in a way I'm agnostic- I'm just unsure about it all.

This guy was raised memorizing verses and reading the bible every day and such. And I'm so insecure in my faith- or lack thereof.

Could it ever work? Not just in my personal situation but for any couple where each person has totally different beliefs orbackground?

What are some pros and cons in your opinion, of dating a very Christian person?

IronLion85 · 07-29-2007, 11:28 PM

I think it works out all the time.

For example, my brother is agnostic and is married to a devout Irish Catholic and they have a very good relationship.

AwdreeHpburn · 07-29-2007, 11:40 PM

It CAN be tough, those opposites in core beliefs, but it doesn't HAVE to be tough.

A couple, real good friends of mine, the wife is VERY catholic and he is a complete atheist. They just accept each other.

They have a daughter now tho - I haven't seen how that's all gonna go down yet, but these are pretty laid back, tolerant type people, so its hard to say.

The point is, be who you are. Don't ever NOT be just to get the guy or be accepted by someone. If someone is truly right for you, they'll accept you for who and what you are, beliefs (or lack of) included.

If he CAN'T accept it, than most likely..... you're better off anyway.

Katiekate010 · 07-29-2007, 11:47 PM

No it doesn't work out. The one ting that my youth pastor ALWAYS tells us is DO NOT DATE A NON CHRISTIAN! I have nothing against you but I know alot of people that have tried it so many times and it has never worked out. God has a plan for everybody in the world. Maybe your lack of faith is all part of his plan. Maybe this guy is God's way of getting you to start going to tha youth group next time you go start paying attention to the lesson and listen to it here are some Bible verses that have helped me alot John 3:16, John 4:19, 1 John 4:9-10 there are just a couple but i hope they help !

AwdreeHpburn · 07-30-2007, 12:02 AM

Of course it can.

Pros of dating a christian - they have values

I think posting a CON is a bad idea - I wouldn't want anyone getting offended.

But suffice it to say, it CAN work out if both parties are accepting of each other ....and christians are real good at accepting people, differences and all - Just ask Katie's pastor.

Shiranai · 07-30-2007, 12:10 AM

Katie you have some narrow minded youth pastor!

AwdreeHpburn, I have yet to meet a Christian/Catholic that's more devoted to the Christian/Catholic values than I am. Religion has nothing to do with a person's values, in fact, while atheists comprise of 12% of US's population, they're only 2% of the prison population. Studies also show atheists are amongst the people who are least likely to divorce.

I'm not devoted to any value, I just have higher standards for myself because I don't have someone else to blame for my mistakes and I only ask people I have wronged to forgive me instead of some imaginary friend.

I am atheist, and I have a very devoted Catholic fiance who works as a religious programmer for Catholicism. Our relationship is working out just fine. It really depends on how much a person is willing to compromise on religion.

Bonzophuebes1 · 07-30-2007, 12:11 AM

It works, there was another thread similar to this last week. As you said, you believe sometimes and at other times you dont. For most of us it is just easire to live your life without the fear of IS THIS WRONG, SHOULD I DO THIS OR THAT. Which we all get if you believe in a higher power. Sometimes, it is just common sense that says NO but we chalk it up to the almighty. However, yes it can work and no it cant. In the other thread which I cannot find at the moment, I mention that there are 2 things people who are dating should talk about before pursuing a longterm relationship, religion, and children. They are musts early. You dont want to date a guy for 2 years and come to find that he never wants children(happened to my best friend) and you do. You dont want to be a wicken and find out that your SO is devout believer in God 8 months down the line. Not good. I think you are on the fence with your belief though, not quit sure which road to take and no one here can give you that answer, that is between you and whatever/if any higher power you believe in. Being a good honest chirsitian is hard, it is easier to be agnostic or athiest. But when asked, most people just say, well, I really dont know. I think before you do date or what have you you should find that answer for you. Which belief are you gonna go for. going to youth group just to hang out with friends, is cool, i did it. Felt bad later though, Like I used GOD but in the end, he gave me messages subtly there and group that you may get as well, so, In my opinion god will speak to you however He sees fit.
So, after my mumbling, I think you should first decipher your belief before, truely moving on. And yes, non-christians and christians have been in relationships for as long as time was around. And many have worked, and many have failed.

Samedy · 07-30-2007, 12:11 AM

It can. It really depends on the both of you. I've known people who attended church, raised in a fairly religious house hold, but when it came down to it, they were just as silly and fun as everyone else.

If you feel inadequate for not being an avid church goer that is okay. If he starts to make you feel guilty or bad about your beliefs, then it probably wouldn't be a good relationship.

Katiekate010 · 07-30-2007, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shiranai

Katie you have some narrow minded youth pastor!

AwdreeHpburn, I have yet to meet a Christian/Catholic that's more devoted to the Christian/Catholic values than I am. Religion has nothing to do with a person's values, in fact, while atheists comprise of 12% of US's population, they're only 2% of the prison population. Studies also show atheists are amongst the people who are least likely to divorce.

I'm not devoted to any value, I just have higher standards for myself because I don't have someone else to blame for my mistakes and I only ask people I have wronged to forgive me instead of some imaginary friend.

I am atheist, and I have a very devoted Catholic fiance who works as a religious programmer for Catholicism. Our relationship is working out just fine. It really depends on how much a person is willing to compromise on religion.

That can't be true no way! And of course hes narrow minded to you! YOUR AN ATHEIST! And peoples religion does reflect their values! Its also been proven oer and over and over again that Christian/Non Christian do not wok out

HellFrost666 · 07-30-2007, 12:20 AM

Two people of different beliefs can have a good relationship, if they want to.

My girlfriend and I believe different things, and we are fine. It's never been an issue.

Some Christians have this things about dating anyone who isn't... And, if you got serious with him he may expect you to change.

07-29-2007, 11:06 PM	#1
vermilion Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 524	Can it work if he's really Christian and I'm not? He comes from a very religious family. My family is Catholic but most of us don't really attend church. I recently started going to church with my friends a bit for the youth group. But I didn't really go for any religious reason- I went to meet people and I saw this guy and thought he was really cute and nice and funny, etc. I admit I feel a bit guilty sometimes that I don't think about God and that sometimes I don't even believe in him. I guess in a way I'm agnostic- I'm just unsure about it all. This guy was raised memorizing verses and reading the bible every day and such. And I'm so insecure in my faith- or lack thereof. Could it ever work? Not just in my personal situation but for any couple where each person has totally different beliefs orbackground? What are some pros and cons in your opinion, of dating a very Christian person? __________________ Toby: We're not all gonna sit in a circle Indian style, are we? Michael: Get out. No this is not a joke. It was offensive and lame, so double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here. -the Office

07-29-2007, 11:28 PM	#2
IronLion85 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Orange County, CA Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,535	I think it works out all the time. For example, my brother is agnostic and is married to a devout Irish Catholic and they have a very good relationship. __________________ "Whenever I meet a beauty, I escape or hide in a corner. Not that I think they are intimidating, but they attract horrible people. Some guys really do their utmost to make these beautiful women believe how good they are..." - Thom Yorke

07-29-2007, 11:40 PM	#3
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,639	It CAN be tough, those opposites in core beliefs, but it doesn't HAVE to be tough. A couple, real good friends of mine, the wife is VERY catholic and he is a complete atheist. They just accept each other. They have a daughter now tho - I haven't seen how that's all gonna go down yet, but these are pretty laid back, tolerant type people, so its hard to say. The point is, be who you are. Don't ever NOT be just to get the guy or be accepted by someone. If someone is truly right for you, they'll accept you for who and what you are, beliefs (or lack of) included. If he CAN'T accept it, than most likely..... you're better off anyway. __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am......

07-30-2007, 12:02 AM	#5
AwdreeHpburn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tiffany's Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 4,639	Of course it can. Pros of dating a christian - they have values I think posting a CON is a bad idea - I wouldn't want anyone getting offended. But suffice it to say, it CAN work out if both parties are accepting of each other ....and christians are real good at accepting people, differences and all - Just ask Katie's pastor. __________________ What i really meant to say, is that I'm sorry for the way I am...... Last edited by AwdreeHpburn; 07-30-2007 at 12:06 AM.

07-30-2007, 12:11 AM	#7
Bonzophuebes1 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: If this is living, I am not affraid of death. It cannot be much worse. Gender: Male Posts: 450	It works, there was another thread similar to this last week. As you said, you believe sometimes and at other times you dont. For most of us it is just easire to live your life without the fear of IS THIS WRONG, SHOULD I DO THIS OR THAT. Which we all get if you believe in a higher power. Sometimes, it is just common sense that says NO but we chalk it up to the almighty. However, yes it can work and no it cant. In the other thread which I cannot find at the moment, I mention that there are 2 things people who are dating should talk about before pursuing a longterm relationship, religion, and children. They are musts early. You dont want to date a guy for 2 years and come to find that he never wants children(happened to my best friend) and you do. You dont want to be a wicken and find out that your SO is devout believer in God 8 months down the line. Not good. I think you are on the fence with your belief though, not quit sure which road to take and no one here can give you that answer, that is between you and whatever/if any higher power you believe in. Being a good honest chirsitian is hard, it is easier to be agnostic or athiest. But when asked, most people just say, well, I really dont know. I think before you do date or what have you you should find that answer for you. Which belief are you gonna go for. going to youth group just to hang out with friends, is cool, i did it. Felt bad later though, Like I used GOD but in the end, he gave me messages subtly there and group that you may get as well, so, In my opinion god will speak to you however He sees fit. So, after my mumbling, I think you should first decipher your belief before, truely moving on. And yes, non-christians and christians have been in relationships for as long as time was around. And many have worked, and many have failed. __________________ BoNzOpHuEbEs1 We must be the change we wish to see. Gandhi

07-29-2007, 11:47 PM	#4
Katiekate010 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: in my own little world where guys dont suck & friends treat you right! Gender: Female Posts: 209	No it doesn't work out. The one ting that my youth pastor ALWAYS tells us is DO NOT DATE A NON CHRISTIAN! I have nothing against you but I know alot of people that have tried it so many times and it has never worked out. God has a plan for everybody in the world. Maybe your lack of faith is all part of his plan. Maybe this guy is God's way of getting you to start going to tha youth group next time you go start paying attention to the lesson and listen to it here are some Bible verses that have helped me alot John 3:16, John 4:19, 1 John 4:9-10 there are just a couple but i hope they help !

07-30-2007, 12:10 AM	#6
Shiranai Offline Silver Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 429	Katie you have some narrow minded youth pastor! AwdreeHpburn, I have yet to meet a Christian/Catholic that's more devoted to the Christian/Catholic values than I am. Religion has nothing to do with a person's values, in fact, while atheists comprise of 12% of US's population, they're only 2% of the prison population. Studies also show atheists are amongst the people who are least likely to divorce. I'm not devoted to any value, I just have higher standards for myself because I don't have someone else to blame for my mistakes and I only ask people I have wronged to forgive me instead of some imaginary friend. I am atheist, and I have a very devoted Catholic fiance who works as a religious programmer for Catholicism. Our relationship is working out just fine. It really depends on how much a person is willing to compromise on religion.

07-30-2007, 12:11 AM	#8
Samedy Online Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Calgary Gender: Male Posts: 1,643	It can. It really depends on the both of you. I've known people who attended church, raised in a fairly religious house hold, but when it came down to it, they were just as silly and fun as everyone else. If you feel inadequate for not being an avid church goer that is okay. If he starts to make you feel guilty or bad about your beliefs, then it probably wouldn't be a good relationship.

07-30-2007, 12:20 AM	#10
HellFrost666 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet Marclar Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 1,534	Two people of different beliefs can have a good relationship, if they want to. My girlfriend and I believe different things, and we are fine. It's never been an issue. Some Christians have this things about dating anyone who isn't... And, if you got serious with him he may expect you to change. __________________ I wish that it might come to pass Not fade like all my dreams Just think of what my life might be In a world like I have seen I dont think I can carry on Carry on this cold and empty life Oh...no! My spirits are low in the depths of despair My lifeblood spills over... Don't worry... the middle 6 is still silent.