finally back on the right track but now i may be falling for someone

imadeangirl · 07-17-2007, 10:59 PM

Hi im Kate, i have posted here before about a previous problem i had about my husband flirting consistently with my coworker. We have settled that and we are back on the right track raising our 2 children and getting ready for another one. Im about 2 1/2 months along now. But the doctor says that i may have complications and not to get my hopes up too much because there is a large risk i may have a miscarriage. i have had 2 miscarriages before due to something wrong with my system. But that is not my problem right now.
Recently i have been doing some light cardio with my ex-husbands best friend. Maybe i should explain first: I was 18 and young and crazy and was married for about a year. We got it anulled but when we broke up i broke it off with our mutual best friend too. I restarted my life and recently i have forgiven him and he is back to being my best friend again. We all work in the t.v. production industry. Well, my friend introduced me to some of the staff that work at his studio and immediatley i hit it off with one of his coworkers.
I know it sounds like karma for my husband but truly this is how i feel. The love for my husband has died down ever since our incedant and now i have strong feelings for another man.

I do not know what to do. Should i follow my heart while my children are still young and wont be able to remmeber a divorce when they are older. Or should i stay trapped in a loveless marriage?

**melrich** · 07-17-2007, 11:05 PM

You shouldn't stay trapped in a loveless marriage.

Quote:

Should i follow my heart while my children are still young and wont be able to remmeber a divorce when they are older.

I hope before you make any decision you educate yourself about how it affects children and how to best parent to limit those effects. Don't for a minute think that because they are young they will forget, forgive or accept divorce if left to their own devices.

You guys seem to be flinging your marriage all over the place. Forget about other guys or other girls, work out what you want to do with your relationship, focus just on that and get something sorted and then, according to what you decide, you can move on to wherever you need to go.

ElektraHere · 07-17-2007, 11:13 PM

I think that Melrich makes some good points about your marriage.

I would also like to add that if your marriage is loveless and you see no hope for it, then I would leave...although I would leave for yourself and NOT for some other party. That is not a gaurantee!

As far as you saying that the baby you are pregnant with is not your concern right now, is a bit of a mind blower!! This really is a troubling statement. Are you hoping for a miscarriage, cause it will give you a sort of "free pass" out of your marriage?

Why reconcile with your husband if a random guy can lure you away?

imadeangirl · 07-17-2007, 11:19 PM

Well i didnt mean to even suggest the thought that i dont want my baby. I have had other miscarriages and i remember how horrible it was to find out. after youve already named them and decorated there room with pink and yellow flowers and have already developed a bond with them even before you even really know them! i would never suggest a thing. But my doctors say that my condition is not in my favor. And its definatley something to put into consideration if i were to follow through.
I just wanted to get my point acrosst on that subject matter.

ghost69 · 07-18-2007, 03:29 PM

whether a child remembers a divorce or not, the parents aren't together. it will still affect them. trust me, i know from experience. i'm not like emotionally screwed up or anything, lol someone will probably comment on that, but i did have times where i felt unwanted by either parent. so you need to think of that for your children.

also, you better make sure this is what you really want to do. once you are out, there will probably be no coming back if you say 'you made a mistake'.

is there nothing that you see worth salvaging? you aren't willing to work on anything to save it?

imadeangirl · 07-19-2007, 02:52 PM

Well my husband is getting vacation in late september, early october, ive decided to spend some more time with him during his vacation and after that we'll see how it goes.

07-17-2007, 10:59 PM	#1
imadeangirl Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Burbank Gender: Female Posts: 8	finally back on the right track but now i may be falling for someone Hi im Kate, i have posted here before about a previous problem i had about my husband flirting consistently with my coworker. We have settled that and we are back on the right track raising our 2 children and getting ready for another one. Im about 2 1/2 months along now. But the doctor says that i may have complications and not to get my hopes up too much because there is a large risk i may have a miscarriage. i have had 2 miscarriages before due to something wrong with my system. But that is not my problem right now. Recently i have been doing some light cardio with my ex-husbands best friend. Maybe i should explain first: I was 18 and young and crazy and was married for about a year. We got it anulled but when we broke up i broke it off with our mutual best friend too. I restarted my life and recently i have forgiven him and he is back to being my best friend again. We all work in the t.v. production industry. Well, my friend introduced me to some of the staff that work at his studio and immediatley i hit it off with one of his coworkers. I know it sounds like karma for my husband but truly this is how i feel. The love for my husband has died down ever since our incedant and now i have strong feelings for another man. I do not know what to do. Should i follow my heart while my children are still young and wont be able to remmeber a divorce when they are older. Or should i stay trapped in a loveless marriage?

07-18-2007, 03:29 PM	#5
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,434	whether a child remembers a divorce or not, the parents aren't together. it will still affect them. trust me, i know from experience. i'm not like emotionally screwed up or anything, lol someone will probably comment on that, but i did have times where i felt unwanted by either parent. so you need to think of that for your children. also, you better make sure this is what you really want to do. once you are out, there will probably be no coming back if you say 'you made a mistake'. is there nothing that you see worth salvaging? you aren't willing to work on anything to save it? __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

07-17-2007, 11:13 PM	#3
ElektraHere Offline Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: West Coast Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,379	I think that Melrich makes some good points about your marriage. I would also like to add that if your marriage is loveless and you see no hope for it, then I would leave...although I would leave for yourself and NOT for some other party. That is not a gaurantee! As far as you saying that the baby you are pregnant with is not your concern right now, is a bit of a mind blower!! This really is a troubling statement. Are you hoping for a miscarriage, cause it will give you a sort of "free pass" out of your marriage? Why reconcile with your husband if a random guy can lure you away?

07-17-2007, 11:19 PM	#4
imadeangirl Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Burbank Gender: Female Posts: 8	Well i didnt mean to even suggest the thought that i dont want my baby. I have had other miscarriages and i remember how horrible it was to find out. after youve already named them and decorated there room with pink and yellow flowers and have already developed a bond with them even before you even really know them! i would never suggest a thing. But my doctors say that my condition is not in my favor. And its definatley something to put into consideration if i were to follow through. I just wanted to get my point acrosst on that subject matter.

07-19-2007, 02:52 PM	#6
imadeangirl Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Burbank Gender: Female Posts: 8	Well my husband is getting vacation in late september, early october, ive decided to spend some more time with him during his vacation and after that we'll see how it goes.