Well I wasn't really sure where to put this...
But since there's not an "Is this normal?" category or one called, "What's wrong with me?!", I decided to put it here.
My family's not very close-knit. I used to hang out with my cousins (girls and boys) when I was younger but we all just grew apart as we got older. wHen we were kids I was pretty close with one cousin in particular. Hes like two years older and I liked him best because he was nicest to me out of everyone of my cousins.
Over the past ten years or so I have only seen him a few times and we don't keep in contact.
Earlier this year I saw him when I went home for my sister's wedding and right away, all I could think was, "This isn't good..."
Yes, I was attracted to him immediately. Now, all of my other male cousins are attractive guys (well, most of them, lol) but I'm not attracted to them--just him.
He's a really sweet guy; we just sat and talked and caught up for a long time--it got to the point where the rest of the family started teasing us for ignoring everyone else.
He has a great sense of humor and when we werent talking he was playing around with the kids, which I found endearing.
He travels a lot for business and when we were talking we realized that he comes to my city a few times a year for his job. He suggested that he stop by the next time he's in town (which will be three weeks...) and then jokingly said he may as well just stay with me so I can cook him dinner (apparently, I make really good biscuits, lol).
We exchanged phone numbers and I told him to let me know when he's in town and I'll definitely make him dinner.
The wedding was in March and he's called me a few times since then and the conversations are always great.
It's just really weird because, if you subtract the fact that we're freaking related, I'd be 99 percent sure this was the beginning of a great relationship.
Part of me doesn't mind being attracted to him and, if I'm completely honest, in a perfect world I wouldn't mind pursuing a relationship...if there weren't going to be any underlying complications (i.e., potential awkwardness and, most of all, the disapproval of our families).
In addition, from the way we interact with eachother, I have an idea that he might be somewhat attracted to me, as well. Our conversations are light-hearted, but he often initiates light flirting.
Still, though...considering my budding feelings for him, I don't know if I should invite him over when he comes to town. We've vaguely discussed him staying with me for the week he's here but nothing's settled because he doesn't know how much driving he's going to need to do once he's here.
I'm not worried about initiating any sexual, really, it's just that I almost feel like it'd be easier to move beyond my attraction to him if he wasn't staying with me for a week.
I have two questions, I guess:
First, should I let him stay with me when he comes and, if not, how do I tell him that I've changed my mind about it without seeming flakey?
And second, is it really SO wrong that I'm attracted to him? The only reasons I can find that make it a problem (at least in my head) is that our family wouldn't approve, but other than that, am I really such a terrible person?