My boyfriend is a sex addict..good or bad?

l0velife · 07-02-2007, 05:21 PM

My boyfriend loves to have sex. We were each others first and we love making love to each other and I'm somewhat paranoid of getting pregnant so I asked him if we could stop for a while so we did because he didn't want me to be paranoid or nervous about it all the time and we didn't want something we weren't fully prepared for. But we started again and we use every bit of protection we can..condoms, pulling out even when he has a condom on, and spermicides. But the longest we've gone is almost a week without doing it. If it's been a week it feels like a month for him. Don't get me wrong we make love, we don't just have sex in 5minutes and walk away. We are really passionate and I can honestly say it feels like the first time every time. We get really intimate and we take advantage of the moment. But does he want it all the time just to have sex or because he wants to make love to me?

How do I know the difference.

He basically can't keep his hands off me no matter where we are. Now if we are in a public place he won't go crazy but he will slide his hand somewhere at some point and he's always saying lets do it here..lets do it there, I want you now, your so sexy, I want to make love to..constant comments.Not that I don't like them, I love them I just want to MAKE SURE he's in it for making love to me and not just sex all the time

karvala · 07-02-2007, 05:49 PM

Your bf isn't a sex addict from your description; he's a normal guy.

Firstly regarding pregnancy: it's good that you're aware and careful about the possibility of getting pregnant, but if you're really worried, in addition to the precautions you're taking, how about taking the pill as well (I'm assuming you're not, as you don't mention it), which in combination with the other precautions would be a pretty reliable (though not totally of course) combination? Something to think about, if this is a major factor for you.

Regarding making love vs sex, I do understand what you mean and your concern, but I can honestly say that for most guys, just as much as most girls, sex is an emotional act as well as a physical one; in other words, he is very likely to be making love to YOU, as opposed to having sex with whoever happens to be around (i.e. you).

Finally, not doing it for a week, for a guy of his age (if he's around your age), is likely to feel a long time, and result in his acting in a relatively sexual way in between. That's perfectly normal; not a sex addiction.

So while I understand your concerns, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like you have a healthy desire for each other, and if you can overcome the worry about pregnancy, I'm sure you'll have a great sex life together, as a physical expression of the intimacy between you.

empty421 · 07-02-2007, 05:51 PM

As long as you are OK with it and he dosen't do it with anyone else, I would say that it's good. MANY women would love to be in your position!! Enjoy it!!

Plus, I don't think he is really a sex addict... he dosen't masturbate 24/7 or sleep around (im assuming).... He is just a guy who is crazy about you and can't keep his hands off you!

I agree with Karvala about the making love vs. just having sex thing... it is most likely a combination of both!

Have fun!

l0velife · 07-02-2007, 05:54 PM

Haha I'm the only one he's been with and I know this for a fact. I feel amazing about him and I would love to marry him. Thanks for all your imput.

I can say he's irrisistable to me in every way I can't get enough of him so I'm not too worried about the situation but I thought I would put it out there.

l0velife · 07-02-2007, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karvala

Your bf isn't a sex addict from your description; he's a normal guy.

Firstly regarding pregnancy: it's good that you're aware and careful about the possibility of getting pregnant, but if you're really worried, in addition to the precautions you're taking, how about taking the pill as well (I'm assuming you're not, as you don't mention it), which in combination with the other precautions would be a pretty reliable (though not totally of course) combination? Something to think about, if this is a major factor for you.

Regarding making love vs sex, I do understand what you mean and your concern, but I can honestly say that for most guys, just as much as most girls, sex is an emotional act as well as a physical one; in other words, he is very likely to be making love to YOU, as opposed to having sex with whoever happens to be around (i.e. you).

Finally, not doing it for a week, for a guy of his age (if he's around your age), is likely to feel a long time, and result in his acting in a relatively sexual way in between. That's perfectly normal; not a sex addiction.

So while I understand your concerns, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like you have a healthy desire for each other, and if you can overcome the worry about pregnancy, I'm sure you'll have a great sex life together, as a physical expression of the intimacy between you.

I'm not on birth control and have been looking into it.
We are really smart with protecting ourselves and a baby wouldn't be the end of the world but we are just concerned of being 100% ready and have a house and have the money to have a healthy happy family. I'm not a crazy paranoid person about it but I do worry about being prepared and what not.

Thanks for your imput

07-02-2007, 05:21 PM	#1
l0velife Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 413	My boyfriend is a sex addict..good or bad? My boyfriend loves to have sex. We were each others first and we love making love to each other and I'm somewhat paranoid of getting pregnant so I asked him if we could stop for a while so we did because he didn't want me to be paranoid or nervous about it all the time and we didn't want something we weren't fully prepared for. But we started again and we use every bit of protection we can..condoms, pulling out even when he has a condom on, and spermicides. But the longest we've gone is almost a week without doing it. If it's been a week it feels like a month for him. Don't get me wrong we make love, we don't just have sex in 5minutes and walk away. We are really passionate and I can honestly say it feels like the first time every time. We get really intimate and we take advantage of the moment. But does he want it all the time just to have sex or because he wants to make love to me? How do I know the difference. He basically can't keep his hands off me no matter where we are. Now if we are in a public place he won't go crazy but he will slide his hand somewhere at some point and he's always saying lets do it here..lets do it there, I want you now, your so sexy, I want to make love to..constant comments.Not that I don't like them, I love them I just want to MAKE SURE he's in it for making love to me and not just sex all the time __________________ To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. Last edited by l0velife; 07-02-2007 at 05:25 PM.

07-02-2007, 05:49 PM	#2
karvala Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,331	Your bf isn't a sex addict from your description; he's a normal guy. Firstly regarding pregnancy: it's good that you're aware and careful about the possibility of getting pregnant, but if you're really worried, in addition to the precautions you're taking, how about taking the pill as well (I'm assuming you're not, as you don't mention it), which in combination with the other precautions would be a pretty reliable (though not totally of course) combination? Something to think about, if this is a major factor for you. Regarding making love vs sex, I do understand what you mean and your concern, but I can honestly say that for most guys, just as much as most girls, sex is an emotional act as well as a physical one; in other words, he is very likely to be making love to YOU, as opposed to having sex with whoever happens to be around (i.e. you). Finally, not doing it for a week, for a guy of his age (if he's around your age), is likely to feel a long time, and result in his acting in a relatively sexual way in between. That's perfectly normal; not a sex addiction. So while I understand your concerns, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like you have a healthy desire for each other, and if you can overcome the worry about pregnancy, I'm sure you'll have a great sex life together, as a physical expression of the intimacy between you. __________________ May you live all the days of your life Trying to heal from after a breakup? Perhaps you need Enhanced No Contact: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1438257

07-02-2007, 05:54 PM	#4
l0velife Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 413	Haha I'm the only one he's been with and I know this for a fact. I feel amazing about him and I would love to marry him. Thanks for all your imput. I can say he's irrisistable to me in every way I can't get enough of him so I'm not too worried about the situation but I thought I would put it out there. __________________ To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

07-02-2007, 05:51 PM	#3
empty421 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Florida Gender: Female Posts: 276	As long as you are OK with it and he dosen't do it with anyone else, I would say that it's good. MANY women would love to be in your position!! Enjoy it!! Plus, I don't think he is really a sex addict... he dosen't masturbate 24/7 or sleep around (im assuming).... He is just a guy who is crazy about you and can't keep his hands off you! I agree with Karvala about the making love vs. just having sex thing... it is most likely a combination of both! Have fun!