Religion Clash

beautifulbutterfly19 · 06-27-2007, 03:16 PM

So last night he says were "seeing eachother" i dont disagree. and im definately into him. hes geniue- compliments me, sweet, pays for everything, opens doors and lets me go first. but im a christian girl and hes atheist.
before anything happened between us. i told my mom and she said just go with it and see what happens, have fun. so i am but honestly that isnt going to work...
i jsut dont know what to do?
ive only been in 2 other serious relationships (im 19 currently) do you think im just looking for something... and taking whatever comes my way?

curbie · 06-27-2007, 03:25 PM

I dated a girl in the past who was a "strong faithful christian" but she cheated on me right on our 1 year mark. She knew I was going to ask her to marry her, etc....but whatever.

Here is my opinion - just because you go to church and just because you believe....doesn't make him wrong. It doesn't make you wrong. You know....honestly...I wish sometimes these "strong Christians" would open their eyes up a little more. What you could always do...is be a witness to him. Maybe this guy you're dating will change his ways? I'm not saying...force him. But let him change on his own. You could do things to spread God's love. You can say things...but again..don't pressure him. Just be good to him and he will see that. Maybe at least ask him if he'll go with you at least once. Maybe he will feel the love or change on his own.

But just because you go to church and just because he doesn't go to church....does not make you and him wrong. It says in the good bible that you're not supposed to be unevenly yolked. BUT....that is with marriage, I do believe. You two aren't married I am assuming. So....just be a witness to him and maybe he'll change. But like I said...give this guy a chance...he may change.

Vanilla Swiss Roll · 06-27-2007, 03:28 PM

You should give this dude a chance. I agree. Just because you believe and just because he doesn't believe does not make it bad. Give the guy a chance.

jul-els · 06-27-2007, 03:32 PM

19 is too early in life to get settled with any one person. You need to date and have numerous experiences with lots of different people in order to form a solid idea of what qualities you want in the person you ultimately decide to devote yourself to.

beautifulbutterfly19 · 06-27-2007, 03:33 PM

thank you both.
we arent married. we've been dating for a couple weeks...
and im not saying he is wrong. its hard for me to think aabout him not believe theres a God. i definately will be a witness to him, but i dont want to pressure him, because i dont want to push him away.

curbie · 06-27-2007, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jul-els

19 is too early in life to get settled with any one person. You need to date and have numerous experiences with lots of different people in order to form a solid idea of what qualities you want in the person you ultimately decide to devote yourself to.

I disagree. The so called "christian" girl I was with was 19 when I met her. I was 24 at the time. 5 year difference. She was mature for her age. Anyways...I still disagree because there are many girls who are a lot more matured out there at the age of 18 or 19 than there are girls who're 23 with kids and are on personals ads with the title reading "I like to party and drink every weekend." If you think I'm joking...do a search on Yahoo! Personals for the area code 43123 and you'll see a lot of girls on there that have kids and the title will say something about drinking or going out every weekend.

Um.....HELLO! You have KIDS. You have RESPONSIBILITIES!
You can't be going out every weekend to drink and leave your kids alone. What kind of mother or father to be is that? Sorry....I just had to get on my soapbox there for a minute.

Again...if she carries herself pretty good...then she's mature. If not...then ok I'm wrong. But I would say that if she's working a fulltime job, or has her own car and pays on it, insurance or at least has her own place...then she's mature at her age. Now I would agree however if the girl was more like 14 or 15 and was talking about "love". Then I would say "yeah...I think you're too young..you've got high school ahead of you" or something like that.

curbie · 06-27-2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beautifulbutterfly19

thank you both.
we arent married. we've been dating for a couple weeks...
and im not saying he is wrong. its hard for me to think aabout him not believe theres a God. i definately will be a witness to him, but i dont want to pressure him, because i dont want to push him away.

Good. I think you should stick with it, and if it fails...then at least you tried.

Batya33 · 06-27-2007, 03:40 PM

If you wouldn't marry someone who wasn't the same religion as you that is fine. I think it's ok at your age to date someone you wouldn't marry - I might have had a different opinion if you were in your late 20s or beyond and he was looking to get married in the not too distant future. If he is looking for marriage I would be honest about this issue now.

Krystal_Ivy · 06-27-2007, 05:07 PM

go by what God says. he says to be "equally yoked" if your faith is that important to you, then how can you be happy with smoneone who doesn't share something with you that is SO important?

bx93ep · 06-27-2007, 05:31 PM

Personally, I wouldn't date someone who was a christian, but I know there are plenty of inter-faith couples out there and it works out fine for them. I think you should just listen to your mother. You are young. Dating is about exploring your emotions and seeing what works for you. It doesn't mean you have to get married.

If his lack of faith really bothers you and you don't think this will change, then give it a miss. I'm sure you'll find someone else.

06-27-2007, 03:16 PM	#1
beautifulbutterfly19 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 51	Religion Clash So last night he says were "seeing eachother" i dont disagree. and im definately into him. hes geniue- compliments me, sweet, pays for everything, opens doors and lets me go first. but im a christian girl and hes atheist. before anything happened between us. i told my mom and she said just go with it and see what happens, have fun. so i am but honestly that isnt going to work... i jsut dont know what to do? ive only been in 2 other serious relationships (im 19 currently) do you think im just looking for something... and taking whatever comes my way?

06-27-2007, 03:25 PM	#2
curbie Offline Silver Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United States, Ohio Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 516	I dated a girl in the past who was a "strong faithful christian" but she cheated on me right on our 1 year mark. She knew I was going to ask her to marry her, etc....but whatever. Here is my opinion - just because you go to church and just because you believe....doesn't make him wrong. It doesn't make you wrong. You know....honestly...I wish sometimes these "strong Christians" would open their eyes up a little more. What you could always do...is be a witness to him. Maybe this guy you're dating will change his ways? I'm not saying...force him. But let him change on his own. You could do things to spread God's love. You can say things...but again..don't pressure him. Just be good to him and he will see that. Maybe at least ask him if he'll go with you at least once. Maybe he will feel the love or change on his own. But just because you go to church and just because he doesn't go to church....does not make you and him wrong. It says in the good bible that you're not supposed to be unevenly yolked. BUT....that is with marriage, I do believe. You two aren't married I am assuming. So....just be a witness to him and maybe he'll change. But like I said...give this guy a chance...he may change. __________________ I don't water down what I say...I just call it how I see it. Jeremy

06-27-2007, 03:28 PM	#3
Vanilla Swiss Roll Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: I live in a refrigerator, at your local fancy restaurant Gender: None Specified Age: 2 Posts: 48	You should give this dude a chance. I agree. Just because you believe and just because he doesn't believe does not make it bad. Give the guy a chance. __________________ You think it's funny to consume us rolls? Huh?! I WILL TAKE OVER EVERY KITCHEN IN THE WORLD!

06-27-2007, 03:32 PM	#4
jul-els Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: yellow matter custard Gender: Male Posts: 2,117	19 is too early in life to get settled with any one person. You need to date and have numerous experiences with lots of different people in order to form a solid idea of what qualities you want in the person you ultimately decide to devote yourself to.

06-27-2007, 03:33 PM	#5
beautifulbutterfly19 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 51	thank you both. we arent married. we've been dating for a couple weeks... and im not saying he is wrong. its hard for me to think aabout him not believe theres a God. i definately will be a witness to him, but i dont want to pressure him, because i dont want to push him away.

06-27-2007, 03:40 PM	#8
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,059	If you wouldn't marry someone who wasn't the same religion as you that is fine. I think it's ok at your age to date someone you wouldn't marry - I might have had a different opinion if you were in your late 20s or beyond and he was looking to get married in the not too distant future. If he is looking for marriage I would be honest about this issue now.

06-27-2007, 05:07 PM	#9
Krystal_Ivy Offline Join Date: May 2007 Location: California Gender: Female Posts: 642	go by what God says. he says to be "equally yoked" if your faith is that important to you, then how can you be happy with smoneone who doesn't share something with you that is SO important?

06-27-2007, 05:31 PM	#10
bx93ep Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 73	Personally, I wouldn't date someone who was a christian, but I know there are plenty of inter-faith couples out there and it works out fine for them. I think you should just listen to your mother. You are young. Dating is about exploring your emotions and seeing what works for you. It doesn't mean you have to get married. If his lack of faith really bothers you and you don't think this will change, then give it a miss. I'm sure you'll find someone else.