Personal Safety for online dating (For the ladies!)

Hi

I recently heard about a young girl of 32 in Surrey, England who went on a first date and never returned home. Her name was Kate Beagley. Her father sounded the alarm when she failed to show up for work. On June 4th 2007, four days after she went missing, her body was found by dog walkers in a woodland area. She was described by her family as loving, thoughtful, dependable and popular to everyone that knew her. I would hate to think this might happen to any woman again. As more and more of us are turning to internet dating, remember it is easy for someone to lie in texts and emails. I know there are some genuine people dating online - but this is just a little thread to take a few basic precautions - just in case!

So here are a few pointers for personal safety on first dates:

1) Make sure someone knows where you are and what time you expect to be back from the date - friend, girlfriend, mom, sister etc...

2) Arrange to meet in a public place - never their home or for a walk in the countryside...or in a quiet area or beauty spot. I know it might sound tempting to have a handsome stranger bring you to a romantic spot walking arm in arm. You can just say to your date you prefer to go somewhere lively!

3) Pre-book your taxi or limo service before you go on your date, rather than having your date escort or "drive" you home.

4) When you get to the place of your date, trust your instincts - (don't let alchohol cloud your opinions!) If it doesn't feel right - call a friend. Go to the ladies room and get out of there! Remember - you don't owe him anything.

Safe Dating sisters!!

Hugs G Fish

Thank you for posting this

okay, but shouldn't this pertain to the safety of men as well?

okay, but shouldn't this pertain to the safety of men as well?

I dont think men really at risk at all compared to a women, but still it is never a bad idea to follow basic "common sense" regarding dating new people whether you are a man or a woman.

I have been amazed at some of the girls who I have spoken to online who wanted to have a first date that wasn't in a public place. I would always tell them "geez I have to meet you in a public place first so I can make sure you are not going to take advantage of me" LOL

But seriously safety should be a #1 priority when a woman starts dating a new guy no mater if she met him in a bar or on the internet.

Also, unless you posted this, if at all possible run internet searches on him (see if you can get his last name or where he works or some way of looking him up). I saved myself from meeting someone who sounded fine on the phone but:

-- had been convicted of a crime (white collar, but still);

-- had a very weird web site (in a bad/scary way);

-- many who lied about age

For example, one guy bragged about how his ex wife was the daughter of a famous businessman who I knew of. I then asked him if she had been younger or older than he. He told me "five years younger" - well, of course I checked her age and found out he was lying by 12 years. We never met. People will give you clues if you just listen and ask the right questions. And then there was the guy who, when I said "I have an issue with men lying about their ages on a profile" said "oh . .. . what age did I put?" click.

click meaning...."delete" ...

Googling is good for anyone you meet and are considering dating, not just online. A person I had known for two years before we started dating...(I knew his sister for longer...so I THOUGHT he was a real great guy) I googled him, and because he is a lawyer, I found out on the state website that he had been suspended from practising law because of domestic violence.

Good thing to find out before you fall in love with someone. Or marry them.

Men should follow these rules as well, for the same reasons. Even if there is a lower risk for your date attacking you, it exists. Another risk is present too for both men and women, but more for men. I've seen men accused of things, such as rape, when no such thing occurrred.

Follow the recommendations, get to know your dates, try to figrue out if you can trust them before exposing yourself to other risks.

Oh my god, this is a shocked news! Why those men try to tell a lie or hide their age or play a game, even murder, are they crazy? Internet is such a great place to know new ppl or ppl have common words.

Btw, sometimes, I googled the name, tried many different ways, but couldn't find anything about him, what shall I do?

not all men lie online. I don't think that we should generalize that just the males online are the "bad" people. Women can tell tall tales about themselves over the internet as well.

EVERYONE should make sure that they are safe online

absolutely women lie as well.

Hi Celina

I'm afraid the Internet makes it easy for people to lie about all sorts of things!

1) Try this, If you want to google someone you meet on a dating site - google their profile name - as sometimes they will use the same profile name accross multiple dating sites......as it makes it easy to remember

2) If you know where he works and the company - google his name and the company name

- or if he is in college - do a search with his name on the college website.

After all, it is no harm checking someone out to see if what they say is true! We do research on the Internet for a job, so when we meet someone, this is the most obvious way to check that someone is credible!

Happy Dating

G Fish!

Cheers

G Fish

Kate Beagley didn't meet her killer online. Predatory murderers are no more common on the Internet than in any other setting. In fact, you'd think they would avoid it and pick women up in places like clubs (as happened in this case) so as not to leave a trail for the police.

I always make sure that my dates have left notice of where they're going to be and when they will return, and I only take them to public places and insist on separate cars.

I also tell someone where I'll be. You never know who could be that one in a million psycho killer.

i live in surrey - how is it i havent' heard of this?

But don't worry if i ever meet anyone for real i'll be safe - at least a couple of my friends will go with me and be 'behind the scenes' shall we say, the first few times if it will ever happen.

I dont think men really at risk at all compared to a women, but still it is never a bad idea to follow basic "common sense" regarding dating new people whether you are a man or a woman.

 

I have been amazed at some of the girls who I have spoken to online who wanted to have a first date that wasn't in a public place. I would always tell them "geez I have to meet you in a public place first so I can make sure you are not going to take advantage of me" LOL

 

But seriously safety should be a #1 priority when a woman starts dating a new guy no mater if she met him in a bar or on the internet.

I think women are definitely more at risk, BUT if a 'woman' turns out to be a man... well that's another story altogether...

California:

A young 19 year old meets up with a 30 year old dirt bag. Who is disgusting hairy, rides a harley (yes harleys are awesome but this guy was Ughh Y would she?). They met on craigslist. He showed up at her house. A while later.. she texted her mom in a way she doesn't text "in San Diego be home tomorrow" or something. She never came home.

I think women are definitely more at risk, BUT if a 'woman' turns out to be a man... well that's another story altogether...

lol. that be wrong.