His mom and others

margherita · 06-12-2007, 06:17 AM

Please help!!!

My boyfriend's family is a very close to each other and they have, for me a strange relationship. on the other hand, my family is totally broken apart, really bad. And I'm probably not used to have such a relationship with parents,grandparents and aunts. The problem is:
I don't have only his mom, but her sister(divorced without children) and their dad, who is the head of the family.
We are together three years and we are getting married this autumn.
I want to know:
Is it normal that he, who is 28, goes with his aunt and mom for 4 days, without me on a trip and concert. The aunt is about 55, and mom too.
I wasn't in plan so much, the only thing he said is like a by the way, do you want to go.
It is the first time that he does a trip like that, and I just don't like it. Maybe the problem is in me, but help me.

Butterfly~Wrists · 06-12-2007, 06:41 AM

It's ok, he's close to his fam. I closer to my fam then my bf, and he gets upset when i go to birthdays, when my cousin is like 4.

It's because your not used to it. Your not the problem, but you need to try and accept it.

Psylocke · 06-12-2007, 06:57 AM

Be careful he's not too much of a mama's boy that is an extremely difficult thing to break away from. It just doesnt' work out well.

You said he's 28. Does he still live at home with his parents? If he does he darn well shouldn't be at that age.

Does he put you first? If he doesn't think about what will happen in a marriage situation

When he has to make a big decision is he going to put you first or does mommy get the first chance for advice?

Sorry if I sound cynical but I've been with a mama's boy and it was a constant power struggle and mom usually won.

margherita · 06-12-2007, 08:51 AM

So,

we live togheter, we bought an apartment. His family lives half an hour away, fortunately.
I just don't understand. Is it normal that he spends a few days going on a concert with his mom and aunt?
not even for them is so normal to travel 13h for a concert, when they are almost 60.
I don't know...

swtbtrflydreams · 06-12-2007, 10:41 AM

Mamas boys arent all that bad. He is with you. I know plenty of people that travel like that with family. I think you are just paranoid and you shouldnt worry about it so much. It may benefit you in the long run that he is close to his family. You say your family is broken up but his is stable. Lean on that.

southerngirl · 06-12-2007, 04:49 PM

I think that is kind of sweet that he went and spent quality time with his mom and aunt. Some day they will be dead and will be ashes..

Don't make him choose....

swtbtrflydreams · 06-13-2007, 09:23 AM

Yeah its not right to make him choose between you and his family. That will more than likely cause problems later on down the road if you try giving him an ultimatum

margherita · 06-15-2007, 11:41 AM

nobody told him or ever thought to tell him to choose.
I was just asking if it was normal, 'cause I don't think neither it is sweet or cute or anything else.
He can be close to his parents, bu for me is not normal that he goes with his mom and aunt to a concert for a few days. Just isn't.
At least he could ask me or think about me in that company, but he didn't. There is no way that I would spend 14h in a car just one way with them.

06-12-2007, 06:17 AM	#1
margherita Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 3	His mom and others Please help!!! My boyfriend's family is a very close to each other and they have, for me a strange relationship. on the other hand, my family is totally broken apart, really bad. And I'm probably not used to have such a relationship with parents,grandparents and aunts. The problem is: I don't have only his mom, but her sister(divorced without children) and their dad, who is the head of the family. We are together three years and we are getting married this autumn. I want to know: Is it normal that he, who is 28, goes with his aunt and mom for 4 days, without me on a trip and concert. The aunt is about 55, and mom too. I wasn't in plan so much, the only thing he said is like a by the way, do you want to go. It is the first time that he does a trip like that, and I just don't like it. Maybe the problem is in me, but help me.

06-12-2007, 04:49 PM	#6
southerngirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NW Georgia Gender: Female Posts: 3,032	I think that is kind of sweet that he went and spent quality time with his mom and aunt. Some day they will be dead and will be ashes.. Don't make him choose.... __________________ A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. Latin Proverb

06-12-2007, 06:41 AM	#2
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,652	It's ok, he's close to his fam. I closer to my fam then my bf, and he gets upset when i go to birthdays, when my cousin is like 4. It's because your not used to it. Your not the problem, but you need to try and accept it.

06-12-2007, 06:57 AM	#3
Psylocke Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Female Age: 40 Posts: 133	Be careful he's not too much of a mama's boy that is an extremely difficult thing to break away from. It just doesnt' work out well. You said he's 28. Does he still live at home with his parents? If he does he darn well shouldn't be at that age. Does he put you first? If he doesn't think about what will happen in a marriage situation When he has to make a big decision is he going to put you first or does mommy get the first chance for advice? Sorry if I sound cynical but I've been with a mama's boy and it was a constant power struggle and mom usually won.

06-12-2007, 08:51 AM	#4
margherita Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 3	So, we live togheter, we bought an apartment. His family lives half an hour away, fortunately. I just don't understand. Is it normal that he spends a few days going on a concert with his mom and aunt? not even for them is so normal to travel 13h for a concert, when they are almost 60. I don't know...

06-12-2007, 10:41 AM	#5
swtbtrflydreams Offline Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Lawrenceville, GA Gender: Female Posts: 307	Mamas boys arent all that bad. He is with you. I know plenty of people that travel like that with family. I think you are just paranoid and you shouldnt worry about it so much. It may benefit you in the long run that he is close to his family. You say your family is broken up but his is stable. Lean on that.

06-13-2007, 09:23 AM	#7
swtbtrflydreams Offline Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Lawrenceville, GA Gender: Female Posts: 307	Yeah its not right to make him choose between you and his family. That will more than likely cause problems later on down the road if you try giving him an ultimatum

06-15-2007, 11:41 AM	#8
margherita Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 3	nobody told him or ever thought to tell him to choose. I was just asking if it was normal, 'cause I don't think neither it is sweet or cute or anything else. He can be close to his parents, bu for me is not normal that he goes with his mom and aunt to a concert for a few days. Just isn't. At least he could ask me or think about me in that company, but he didn't. There is no way that I would spend 14h in a car just one way with them.