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  1. #1
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
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    Difference between being friends and boyfriend/girlfriend?

    OK, say there is a girl I like, she has shown some interest in me. We're basically a little more than aquantainces.

    What is the real difference between being friends and being a couple? I'm not asking what is different about being a coupe vs friends but what differences lead to either one. Is it love? If so what does that even mean? Or is the only difference between good friends and a couples sexual attraction? Or is it something more?

    I've never had a girlfriend or any good girl friends.
    I have many good guy friends, I really like them, could I say I love them? I would do just about anything for them and trust them with my life. Though I have no sexual attraction to them. So is having a girlfriend like that except there is sexual attraction?

    I don't even know if I'm making sense, just throwing some stuff out there to try to understand the relationship between couples.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    There is more to being in a relationship than just being freinds who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".
    Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

  3. #3
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eva:Gina View Post
    There is more to being in a relationship than just being freinds who have sex.
    There is an extra element... its indescribable... but its best summed up by "commitment and passion".
    I agree.

    I'd also like to add, my boyfriend is my best friend. The connection I have to him is far deeper than anything I've ever felt with anyone else. He was a friend before we became a couple, our feelings went beyond just caring and attraction.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Eva:Gina's Avatar
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    yep
    my ex was my best friend at the time too, but not becuase of any deep bond, just because of the amount of time we spent together.

    I dont feel entirely comfortable calling my bf my best friend yet, but he is. We enjoy our time together so completely
    Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
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    I think being a couple is essentially being good friends, having sex, and romantic love, which usually proceeds from the other two.

    The love you have for your guy friends isn't quite the same. It is similar, but the sexual attraction does play a major role.

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.
    "A productive and happy life is not something you find. It is something you make." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    "Be kind. Everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle." -Plato

    "I have sad misgivings that I shall never find any consolation in life save in music" - Bela Bartok

  7. #6
    Bronze Member matts0344's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pianoguy View Post

    I sometimes wonder if romantic love is just our psychological/cultural way of dealing with lust, but that's another discussion altogether.
    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.

  8. #7
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    the real difference between all types of relationships, professional, business, friends, intimate, romatic.... etc... etc...

    EXPECTATIONS...

    intensity of your relationship depends on that... thus the end result... depends on that as well.... joy, happiness, pain or sadness, etc.... are the end results...

  9. #8
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    to the Original topic... you have different expectations from a friend than when he/she is your bf/gf... so your reactions to the end result will be different...

    example.. you don't have a right to be jealous when your friend sees someone else or cancel your plan with her/him... you can be jealoused but you can't show that to him/her... but if she/he is your gf/bf... you'll be mad on top of your head...

  10. #9
    TheFoglifter's Avatar
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    The most tangible difference is the sex. The hardest difference to describe is the love.

    If you aren't getting sex though, you are just "great friends" and are free to sleep with whomever you please. Unless you are head over heels in love (hence, difficult to describe) don't remain more than friends with someone who doesn't give you sex. Trust me.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member pianoguy's Avatar
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    Yes, this is basically what I'm asking / trying to say. How romantic love is different from other love other than the sex. It seems like its something I just need to experience for myself.
    It helps... I think you can imagine it though. Did you have crushes in high school and that kind of thing where you would sit around and daydream about girls? Or a girl in particular?
    "A productive and happy life is not something you find. It is something you make." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    "Be kind. Everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle." -Plato

    "I have sad misgivings that I shall never find any consolation in life save in music" - Bela Bartok

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