Christian Parents and Abuse

[Sylivia]

My parents are Christians, good bible reading, generally moral good people.
Over the last two months I have experienced flash backs of my father abusing me.
My parents say that it is the Devil trying to break the family apart.
I have prayed and still the memories come, but not in detail, just thoughts, feelings, and I know that something traumatic happened to me.
My Dad admits to going into my room, but only to say good night and hug me, he is really upset, and so is my mum.
I prayed that she would understand, she did, and said that she was thinking of leaving Dad, until one day the Lord came to her and revealed to her that it did not happen.
I have cried so hard, because I love my parents, I am able with Councelling to get on with my life, but my mum is heartbroken.
I told her not to take side, and just leave it with God, as I have forgiven my Dad, and love him very much. But I some how feel responable for her pain, and I can't break free.
I will always be the one in the family who threw a spanner in the works and blamed my Dad.
Sadly I feel religiously manpulated, but if the memories are false, I would not know how to deal with it, and would feel even more responable for hurting my loving family.
'Lifes a ***** and then some!

[cream_cheese]

I'm confused. What exactly are you flashbacks about? Is it sexual abuse? It's possible your mind blocked it out to protect you. You should see someone who can help you remember. I'm not religious, but I also have very religious parents. I think you really should do something, and not just excuse this because the lord told you mom nothing happened.

[Miss Firecracker]

The only problem is you don't actually remember him doing anything. If all you remember is feelings and thoughts, that's not enough to prove anything. I've heard that sometimes in therapy you can gradually start to remember these things.

[Aurian]

But the problem is that sometimes one can plant the idea into the mind. The human mind is a very fallible thing. If you go to counselling, I would be very careful to go to one you trust and one who is not biased towards any conclusion (ie - won't plant ideas into your mind but let you explore where the images are coming from).

[reknihtwols]

See a psychiatrist, my cousin had the same experiences of abuse and it's taken years for her to draw out the memories of what happened. Don't go and see just a counselor or a therapist, this is incredibly complex difficult stuff, see a psychiatrist with a good reputation who will help you sort out exactly what happened to you.

[Sylivia]

Thanks for taking the time out to reply, It was so kind of everybody to do that. A Psychiatrist maybe the best route, but this sounds strange my brothers believe me, they say they remember Dad went into my room.
Strange to say, my Dad doesn't seem to bothered about how I feel, and he gave me some money, which I have donated to the NSPCC.
He wrote me a letter to say that maybe when he lost his temper and shouted this has caused my memory to remember the wrong things, but he never asked about how I was, he just said to me that we all sin.
I am not really facing up to the truth to keep the family together, and in my quiet times, I now remember him touching me, it's like my minds all unravelling, and it's quite scary.
I know that I am not alone, and my friends have been brilliant, my hubby believes that he has dones something very bad, to cause me to have such traumatic memories, but I think even he is finding it hard to believe that my Dad could do such a thing.

[Miss Firecracker]

Originally Posted by Sylivia

Strange to say, my Dad doesn't seem to bothered about how I feel, and he gave me some money, which I have donated to the NSPCC.

This says a lot.

It must help tremendously that your brothers believe in you.

[Sylivia]

Hi,
I now know for sure I was abused, I have remembered so much more, and although the relationship with my parents is now someone strained, I have actually found out, what it means to be me, and am begining to pick up the pieces of my life. I know it will be a long journey, what it will be worth every step, because every step will lead towards healing.
This is a great message board, and It's comforting to know that we can bear each others burdens.
God Bless

[metalblade]

what the hell is it with Christians these days?!?!?
Your father needs to take responsibility for the horrible thing he's done to you!!! It wasn't "The Devil" it was HIM!! and ONLY HIM!!
Why do these self-righteous assholes constantly seek to shirk responsibility for the horrendous things they do by blaming "Satan"
You have indeed been manipulated religiously and it seems a lot of Christians think that they can get away with whatever horrible thing they want to do to another innocent person because Jesus will forgive them at church on Sunday.
Go seek SECULAR counselling based solely on the study of psychology and the human mind. Try as much as you can to keep the bible out of it.
You need to understand what you're going thru in medical terms using proven methods of science.
I hope you can come to terms with this and turn it into strength.
I wish all the best for you! *hugs*

[Sylivia]

Thank you for your sound advice.