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Thread: She says no Chemistry..should i call?

  1. #1
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    She says no Chemistry..should i call?

    This is a follow up to my post a few days ago..So I met this girl and had a great first date..we ended up back in my apartment and made out for 2-3 hours..lots of kissing and physical intimacy..She called a week later and said that she doesn't feel the chemistry is there and wants to stay friends..i was reading in mens health today that this might be a sign that her physical signal s betrayed her so now she is trying to make up by pulling back a bit...Do you think I should call her and still try to hang out? Or should i let it go unless she calls or contacts me? Female opinion will be especially appreciated




     


  2. #2
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
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    Ok, I don't know where men's health is getting their info, but if I personally were to say "there's no chemistry, can we be friends", I imagine I would mean the no chemistry part and have said "let's be friends" just as a way to soften the blow, so my vote is no call.

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    sorry, male here. but i'll try my best anyhow.

    what do you mean by physical intimacy? did you make love? oral? feeling up? that's a broad term that could be a key to all of this. she could have been very surprised on how far she went and wants to tone it down. maybe she figured that guys who moved this fast are going to end up like one of those short-term relationships full of lust and no love?

    my advice is that wait a few days before she calls. then call her if nothing arises. if anything, you can develop a friendship without the romance. I know that's not what your looking for, but its better than having nothing at all...IMO.


    ~Jvc21

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    Platinum Member kellbell's Avatar
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    Hey there,

    "mens health today that this might be a sign that her physical signals betrayed her so now she is trying to make up by pulling back a bit."

    Sorry but that is most ridiculous thing I have ever read. I am not even sure I understand this fully.

    Anyhow, when a woman comes out and says there is nothing there and to be friends only, please believe her. Many women sometimes have a hard time straightshooting and getting to the point so they sometimes give the runaround, give excuses, try to soften the blow and sometimes they do not even call back. But this woman did not, she called, she was honest. Consider this a blessing. This did not work out, keep your options open. I strongly suggest you do not pursue this girl romantically anymore. Sorry it did not work out.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by kellbell; 05-22-2007 at 10:52 AM.
    "Let your soul be your pilot, let your soul guide you, it will guide you well." Sting

    <---- me and my mom :)

    "Get busy living or get busy dyin', damn right..." Morgan Freeman, Shawshank Redemption.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sophie274 View Post
    Ok, I don't know where men's health is getting their info, but if I personally were to say "there's no chemistry, can we be friends", I imagine I would mean the no chemistry part and have said "let's be friends" just as a way to soften the blow, so my vote is no call.
    Yikes, i have never said that to a guy I liked. I agree with sophie, I think you should let this one go. If you do ask her out again, know that it will be as just friends, unless she gives you clear signals otherwise..... I think she may actually be telling the truth here....
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  7. #6
    Gold Member JoeWho's Avatar
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    What the hell are the people over at Men's Health smoking these days??? lol

    If she said there is no chemistry to you then just move on. Why waste any time on her if she said that. I wouldnt say that to a girl I had even the slightest bit of interest in.
    It is what it is

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    go with these posters. there are plenty of other girls with similar traits that you can relate with and have good relationships with.

    Yes, it's not gonna be her, but you'd be surprised when some girl pops up and blows her out of the park.

    Believe.
    ~Jvc21

    "A woman can be beautiful outside and could be ugly on the inside; but a woman who is beautiful inside can never be ugly, period." ~Jvc21

  9. #8
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    what did the men's health article say exactly? was it talking about a woman being a little "distant" the day after - because, yes, that does happen, there can be some awkwardness, so that isn't anything to be SO concerned about but "I feel no chemistry" is certainly slamming on the breaks....

    like kellbell said, if you were lucky enough that this woman is a straight-shooter, take her at her word! Many other (men and women) would just give you the run around, by being "too busy" to plan a date, or "not be sure" if they will be in town that weekend or not....
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  10. #9
    Platinum Member BeStrongBeHappy's Avatar
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    i think she is being pretty clear... she doesn't want to date you... could also mean she is dating someone else where she has stronger chemistry with him, and has decided to go with him instead of you...

    so you could try to stay friends, but if you want more, i think it will only lead to you feeling more rejected and stop you from pursuing other women who WILL have that chemistry with you. if you're not too invested in her you could stay friends, but it sounds like you will just end up being disappointed if she is being this clear that she doesn't feel a spark strong enough to date you.

  11. #10

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    You are lucky that she was up front with you, and I would take her at her word.

    As for the "let's be friends" part ... assuming that you have a romantic attraction toward her ... trying to be a non-romantic friend under those circumstances is a recipe for disaster for you. Don't ever imagine that her feelings will change ... it doesn't work that way, and you don't want to be six months down the road hoping she will be with you while she cries on your shoulder about her latest boyfriend problems!!! That's just pain for you, and awkwardness for her because she will know you are hurting and there is nothing she can do about it.

    Good luck.

    Zack.

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