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Thread: My Girlfriend can't make me cum...

  1. #1
    Member CrescentFresh's Avatar
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    My Girlfriend can't make me cum...

    So lately we haven't got to see each other as often as about a month ago because she's had to live out of town for a while.
    And before she was able to make me cum when we would fool around.
    But lately, its like when she gives me head, i dont feel any satisfaction from it, like the super awesome feeling of a girl going down on me isn't there. its just like not as good feeling as it used to be. and i can still make myself cum but that is not an option. Cause like everytime she tries and i dont get anywhere, im left like traumatized, and im freaking out.
    Is there something we should or shouldn't be doing? Cause i really need an orgasm! and she really wants to give me one! and i dont want to have to rely on myself when she can easily do it! I mean it was just fine a while back.

    Am i getting used to it? and if that's the case, will this happen with sex too?

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    Platinum Member metrogirl's Avatar
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    Are you attracted to her?

    Does she do "it" well?

    Are there other things that are bothering you that may be interfering with your ability to climax??
    I shared my spare on Feb 4th. Ask me about living kidney donation.

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    well you have to like someone to get turned on. It's same as kissing someone. Some people give you weak knees and some keep you cold. are u sure you still like her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by CrescentFresh View Post
    Is there something we should or shouldn't be doing? Cause i really need an orgasm! and she really wants to give me one! and i dont want to have to rely on myself when she can easily do it! I mean it was just fine a while back.
    Do you show her how to hand job you? You can use one hand while she is using her mouth...???

    Show her how it's done, how to move her mouth, where to place her teeth, toungue etc should help.

    Do you make yourself cum while she is giving you head??
    "Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. " ~Alan Watts

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    I'm not sure if you can get immune to having orgasms during oral sex because you get "used to it" (correct me if I'm wrong guys, lol)....that is, if she's doing it in a way that satisfies you. I know that my bf has always been able to climax when I go down on him each and every time and still enjoys it just as much as the first day I did it.

    Like Metrogirl said, are there other issues in your relationship that may be troubling you and thus interfering with your ability to climax?

    Are you attracted to her and does she do it equally as well as before when you were able to orgasm?

  7. #6
    Member CrescentFresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metrogirl View Post
    Are you attracted to her?

    Does she do "it" well?

    Are there other things that are bothering you that may be interfering with your ability to climax??

    yes i'm attracted to her, im way into her. She used to do it to me all the time. But lately it's started to feel less good. I dont get it

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    As far as these problems go, sometimes they happen, and you don't know why. But the best cures for them that I know of are:

    1. Keep your hands off yourself. No self-service, let it all back up and let that get you super horny and hard when the wind blows.

    2. Make sure she only does it when she really want its. Sex is at its hottest when both people want it a lot. You not touching you will make you want it more. Make sure she wants it so bad that she would be ready to remove the chrome if your unit was a trailer hitch.

    3. As any man who has ever engaged in any self-service, so basically all males older then 13 and then some, the thoughts in your head are sometimes more important that what is going on physically. Think about thigns that make you hot.
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

    C.S. Lewis--Answers to Questions on Christianity

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    Member CrescentFresh's Avatar
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    It might be because i get paranoid sometimes.
    Like my last relationship ended by the girl cheating on me. And right now my girlfriend is away, and im the super paranoid type (BUT I DONT WANT TO BE!), and i'm like just always wondering sometimes if she's still into me. And i got to see her yesterday, she came down for my birthday, and i totally dont doubt her and me. She really likes me. I really like her. I just can't seem to keep focus! I totally had focus before, and i thought it WAS weird that i wouldn't be able to cum anymore. It like takes me so long, could it be her technique? cause she gets tired and it sometimes kills the feeling. And im like "i wonder if she's wondering if i'm going to cum this time" and i get all caught up in that thought, the thought of wanting to be able to perform properly. Cause i fear that maybe she will not want to be with me because she cant make me cum, like she'll think i'm not interested in her or something. Which is totally not the case, and i get all caught up in that thinking. And i cant get out of it
    Last edited by CrescentFresh; 05-17-2007 at 06:41 PM.

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    The problem with thinking too much happens a LOT with women in particular because it takes us longer to climax anyway. We start to become intimate with our significant other and if we start to wonder if we look sexy, if we're taking too long, if he's getting tired, etc, we get distracted and end up not being able to orgasm all together.

    Don't think so much and like Beec said, when you spend time with her and prepare to have sex/oral/etc, engage in LOTS of foreplay...kissing, touching, you going down on her, stuff like that. Don't have sex or let her go down on you until you feel like you can't take it anymore. Also when she's going down on you, relax, close your eyes, focus on the feeling and tell her how you like it...faster, slower, using her hands, etc.

    Also try not to be superparanoid. She likes you, you like her. What's to worry about? Don't sabotage it if there's nothing wrong. Just relax.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrescentFresh View Post
    It like takes me so long, could it be her technique? cause she gets tired and it sometimes kills the feeling. And im like "i wonder if she's wondering if i'm going to cum this time" and i get all caught up in that thought, the thought of wanting to be able to perform properly. Cause i fear that maybe she will not want to be with me because she cant make me cum, like she'll think i'm not interested in her or something. Which is totally not the case, and i get all caught up in that thinking. And i cant get out of it
    Of course it could be her technique, but if her technique has not changed, why should the results have changed. If you want her to change her technique, you need to tell her. And you need her to do what works for you. I have found women who jump right in and don't work up to things, can get tired.

    And stop thinking about things that put the damper on you cumming. think about things that mkae you hot, thigns that it you thought about them while engaging in self-service would get you off.
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

    C.S. Lewis--Answers to Questions on Christianity

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