can people tell what gender you are attracted to by looking at you?

reisforpeace · 04-16-2007, 02:30 PM

my friend and I were having a sleepover and she was talking about guys she liked all night and then she asked why i never talk about guys. I thought that this was a perfect time to come out to her becuase she is really accepting and non judgmental. So i told that i have never been attracted to a guy but i still dont want to label myself in any way becuase im still young. then she looked me up and down and said "i can see that". And then we continued to talk and all that....
can people really see what gender you are attracted to by looking at you? I never really thought of my self as looking not attracted to guys.

Jayar · 04-16-2007, 02:36 PM

In many cases yeah, but in many cases, no. Without seeing you it'd be hard to tell you one way or the other.

reisforpeace · 04-16-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayar

Without seeing you it'd be hard to tell you one way or the other.

well i dont know if this will help but right now im wearing navy blue converse sneekers, jeans that are loose but not extremely baggy, a grey shirt that says "washington DC" that i got 3 yrs ago on a school trip, i have long hair and i have never worn it out of a pony tail excep once when i cut it too short for a ponytail by mistake. im actually going to cut my hair for locks of love right before the summer but i think it will be long enough to still pull back...not the point...anyway, did that help?

flower99 · 04-16-2007, 03:14 PM

some people I think you can guess. And guess fairly accuratly. But with it being a guess, there is always room for error. And other people you would have never guessed where (hide it well)
There is no real way of KNOWING just by looking. But Because your friend knows you, she may have been able to see that in you.

Jayar · 04-16-2007, 03:17 PM

You sound pretty "tomboyish" and there's nothing wrong with that. If you think you might like women, there's nothing wrong with that either. Your friend probably assumed that since you are tomboyish, you might not like boys to date. Could be a fairly accurate assumption. In general I tend to guess pretty accurately with this sort of thing in my own friends. That being said, I grew up very tomboyish and I have NEVER questioned my heterosexuality. So go figure.

Aurian · 04-16-2007, 03:37 PM

Meh, I`m very much tomboyish still (and made no attempts at being feminine when I was younger) yet nobody ever thought I wasn`t interested in guys. I doubt physical appearance really means much, its probably more body language. There is a difference between being shy around guys and simply being uninterested. Your friend might have picked up on the lack of interest.

Cadence308 · 04-17-2007, 12:12 AM

She probably said, "I can see that," as a figure of speech, not that she could really "see" that by looking at you. lol You sound a bit paranoid.

If you look really butchy and have a mullet then I might label you a lesbian. Some lesbians I know still have mullets. But, it's really hard to just look at someone and tell their sexuality.

Your friend knows you, your personality, your likes and dislikes, and since you don't talk about guys she took that as a sign that you weren't really into dating them. That was something that she picked up on through conversation not by the way you look. I once had a friend tell me I didn't talk about guys much about 5 years ago. This was way back before I realized how much I really did like women. It's weird how sometimes some people know you better than you know yourself.

reisforpeace · 04-17-2007, 12:44 AM

ya i know i got to stop being paraniod. And I think that your right about the seeing in reality or the seeing as in knowing/thinking. thanks for the help. but i do think that some of the close i wear could come off as well that fits with what u just told me kinda thing. And no im not butchy with a mullet

not that there is anything wrong with that. I think its kinda cool when people know "more about you than you do yourself"

misspink · 04-17-2007, 08:34 AM

Well I have often had loadsa people say "I would never have guessed!". Mainly because I am as feminine as they come! But they are all stereotypes at the end of the day. Yer some lesbians look butch....but there are also so many who are girlie the same as straight girls. I have also seen straight girls who have been called "dykes" because thet are tomboyish.

Stereotypes are crap!

reisforpeace · 04-17-2007, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misspink

Stereotypes are crap!

i agree 100%!!!

04-16-2007, 02:30 PM	#1
reisforpeace Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 59	can people tell what gender you are attracted to by looking at you? my friend and I were having a sleepover and she was talking about guys she liked all night and then she asked why i never talk about guys. I thought that this was a perfect time to come out to her becuase she is really accepting and non judgmental. So i told that i have never been attracted to a guy but i still dont want to label myself in any way becuase im still young. then she looked me up and down and said "i can see that". And then we continued to talk and all that.... can people really see what gender you are attracted to by looking at you? I never really thought of my self as looking not attracted to guys.

04-16-2007, 02:36 PM	#2
Jayar Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 2,379	In many cases yeah, but in many cases, no. Without seeing you it'd be hard to tell you one way or the other. __________________ Jayar

04-16-2007, 03:14 PM	#4
flower99 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,950	some people I think you can guess. And guess fairly accuratly. But with it being a guess, there is always room for error. And other people you would have never guessed where (hide it well) There is no real way of KNOWING just by looking. But Because your friend knows you, she may have been able to see that in you. __________________ ~Love is not gazing into each other's eyes; it is looking together in the same direction.~ ~ There are a lot of changes in life, how we react to them that matters, it's what makes us who we are. ~ Last edited by flower99; 04-16-2007 at 03:16 PM.

04-16-2007, 03:17 PM	#5
Jayar Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 2,379	You sound pretty "tomboyish" and there's nothing wrong with that. If you think you might like women, there's nothing wrong with that either. Your friend probably assumed that since you are tomboyish, you might not like boys to date. Could be a fairly accurate assumption. In general I tend to guess pretty accurately with this sort of thing in my own friends. That being said, I grew up very tomboyish and I have NEVER questioned my heterosexuality. So go figure. __________________ Jayar

04-16-2007, 03:37 PM	#6
Aurian Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Vancouver, Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 2,364	Meh, I`m very much tomboyish still (and made no attempts at being feminine when I was younger) yet nobody ever thought I wasn`t interested in guys. I doubt physical appearance really means much, its probably more body language. There is a difference between being shy around guys and simply being uninterested. Your friend might have picked up on the lack of interest. __________________ How to spot a loser and understanding the abused victim: http://www.drjoecarver.com/3/miscellaneous2.htm Excellent articles!

04-17-2007, 12:12 AM	#7
Cadence308 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 1,338	She probably said, "I can see that," as a figure of speech, not that she could really "see" that by looking at you. lol You sound a bit paranoid. If you look really butchy and have a mullet then I might label you a lesbian. Some lesbians I know still have mullets. But, it's really hard to just look at someone and tell their sexuality. Your friend knows you, your personality, your likes and dislikes, and since you don't talk about guys she took that as a sign that you weren't really into dating them. That was something that she picked up on through conversation not by the way you look. I once had a friend tell me I didn't talk about guys much about 5 years ago. This was way back before I realized how much I really did like women. It's weird how sometimes some people know you better than you know yourself. __________________ I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be if...there weren't any other people living in the world. - Anne Frank

04-17-2007, 12:44 AM	#8
reisforpeace Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 59	ya i know i got to stop being paraniod. And I think that your right about the seeing in reality or the seeing as in knowing/thinking. thanks for the help. but i do think that some of the close i wear could come off as well that fits with what u just told me kinda thing. And no im not butchy with a mullet not that there is anything wrong with that. I think its kinda cool when people know "more about you than you do yourself"

04-17-2007, 08:34 AM	#9
misspink Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: London Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 10	Well I have often had loadsa people say "I would never have guessed!". Mainly because I am as feminine as they come! But they are all stereotypes at the end of the day. Yer some lesbians look butch....but there are also so many who are girlie the same as straight girls. I have also seen straight girls who have been called "dykes" because thet are tomboyish. Stereotypes are crap!