If a girl is just average in looks but has a good personality

sparkly · 04-14-2007, 06:28 AM

do you like her more than a girl who is good looking and has a horrible personality,or doesn't personality matter to you?

daveygravey · 04-14-2007, 07:28 AM

I usually fall for who I fall for, looks don't really come into it. When I care about a girl, she becomes more physically attractive to me anyway.

But I guess if I'm LOOKING for a girl, then I'm going to go on their looks at first. That said, I've spoken to girls who I thought were hot and within five seconds of them opening their mouth I realised they were not attractive at all!

Weeblie · 04-14-2007, 07:41 AM

I think everyone is going to pick the girl with the good personality. A good personality can make anyone gorgeous.

I'd be more interested in finding out how much crap is a guy willng to put up with for a hot girl...

daveygravey · 04-14-2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weeblie

I'd be more interested in finding out how much crap is a guy willng to put up with for a hot girl...

I was with a 'hot' girl on/off for the best part of a year. Started off well, but then she started avoiding me and cancelling plans and basically I was chasing her all the time and was realy miserable. We only met up when she wanted to. It was really crappy for a few months. And that was basically because she was hot, although not that hot. My recent ex was stunning.

Batya33 · 04-14-2007, 09:55 AM

I don't think there's an answer to your question because it depends on so many factors:

What is the person's mindset (casual fling, serious relationship, dating, somewhere in between?)
What do you mean by "like?" - like as in attracted, like as in "I want to date her seriously" like as in "yeah she'd be cool to hang out with once in awhile and maybe hook up with"
How important is looks to the person?
Does the person have a certain type?
What kind of personality does the person go for?
How does the person view his looks?
Does the person prefer to be with women who he views as approximately as attractive as he is? More attractive? Less attractive?
What does "average looks" mean - average compared to what?
What does "good personality" mean? extroverted? introverted? dry wit? sensitive? loud?

Also you're assuming that this kind of analysis actually happens. More often, it's a package deal meaning one person is attracted to another and they don't dissect it into looks and personality.

It's also going to depend on past experience - if a person wants a relationship and keeps "striking out" with women who look like models, some might decide just to avoid that all together - or the same for a specific type of personality that they "like" but always ends up being incompatible. If the person has a strategic approach or is risk-avoidant that will effect who he goes for even if he "likes" a certain type.

Leonhart · 04-14-2007, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batya33

I don't think there's an answer to your question because it depends on so many factors:

What is the person's mindset (casual fling, serious relationship, dating, somewhere in between?)
What do you mean by "like?" - like as in attracted, like as in "I want to date her seriously" like as in "yeah she'd be cool to hang out with once in awhile and maybe hook up with"
How important is looks to the person?
Does the person have a certain type?
What kind of personality does the person go for?
How does the person view his looks?
Does the person prefer to be with women who he views as approximately as attractive as he is? More attractive? Less attractive?
What does "average looks" mean - average compared to what?
What does "good personality" mean? extroverted? introverted? dry wit? sensitive? loud?

Also you're assuming that this kind of analysis actually happens. More often, it's a package deal meaning one person is attracted to another and they don't dissect it into looks and personality.

It's also going to depend on past experience - if a person wants a relationship and keeps "striking out" with women who look like models, some might decide just to avoid that all together - or the same for a specific type of personality that they "like" but always ends up being incompatible. If the person has a strategic approach or is risk-avoidant that will effect who he goes for even if he "likes" a certain type.

All excellent points. I couldn't have said it better myself.

I, too, don't know how to answer the question because I kept thinking, 'What constitutes a good personality?' 'What exactly are average looks?' (I recently posted a topic, trying to ascertain exactly what they are, BTW.) And it is very rare when you have this specific type of comparison going on. Things seldomly work out as that black and white, for most people.

The best I can do to answer the question is say that no matter the girl's personality, I would need to be attracted to her physically in order to want to date her. No ifs ands or buts about it. If I'm not interested in her sexually then no amount of personality can compensate for that. It's just not possible. It wouldn't be fair to her, or to myself to date someone I am not physically attracted to. (See, this comes down, again, to 'average' looks. When I hear average, I think unattractive and not my 'type.' You may mean something completely different than how I take it.) *shrugs*

I'm not saying personality isn't important. It is very important in building a last relationship and, eventually, marriage. But to deny the importance of physical attraction and sexual chemistry and attraction in a relationship, to me, seems like omitting half the puzzle.

definitely_maybe · 04-14-2007, 10:31 AM

My short answer is "yes."

laboheme · 04-14-2007, 11:05 AM

(Doing this as a girl looking at guys...) Yes, a guy who is average in looks but has a good personality will be more attractive to me than a good-looking one with a horrible personality. But that's only a comparison between the two; it does NOT necessarily mean that I will like the average-looking guy enough to actually consider pursuing anything with him.

ProtestTheHero · 04-14-2007, 11:33 AM

I might sound crude here, but there are very few girls that are not "doable." Not that I have low standards, but in today's society there is a lot you can do to improve your appearance if you feel that is a huge barrier. The most important thing you can do is be in relatively good shape.

There isn't anything wrong with being attractive, but a relationship is no fun if that's the only thing your potential gf has. Whenever I meet women of similar interests, comedic tastes, and outlooks that are laid back and just easy to be around...it definitely is a way bigger turn on then anything anyone could try to come up with physically.

ghost69 · 04-16-2007, 10:49 AM

i've met a lot of good looking women. i get to know them first. if the personality isn't great, maybe just hooking up will happen. i can't have a chick with no personality for a gf though.

04-14-2007, 06:28 AM	#1
sparkly Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 253	If a girl is just average in looks but has a good personality do you like her more than a girl who is good looking and has a horrible personality,or doesn't personality matter to you?

04-14-2007, 09:55 AM	#5
Batya33 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,060	I don't think there's an answer to your question because it depends on so many factors: What is the person's mindset (casual fling, serious relationship, dating, somewhere in between?) What do you mean by "like?" - like as in attracted, like as in "I want to date her seriously" like as in "yeah she'd be cool to hang out with once in awhile and maybe hook up with" How important is looks to the person? Does the person have a certain type? What kind of personality does the person go for? How does the person view his looks? Does the person prefer to be with women who he views as approximately as attractive as he is? More attractive? Less attractive? What does "average looks" mean - average compared to what? What does "good personality" mean? extroverted? introverted? dry wit? sensitive? loud? Also you're assuming that this kind of analysis actually happens. More often, it's a package deal meaning one person is attracted to another and they don't dissect it into looks and personality. It's also going to depend on past experience - if a person wants a relationship and keeps "striking out" with women who look like models, some might decide just to avoid that all together - or the same for a specific type of personality that they "like" but always ends up being incompatible. If the person has a strategic approach or is risk-avoidant that will effect who he goes for even if he "likes" a certain type. Last edited by Batya33; 04-14-2007 at 09:57 AM.

04-16-2007, 10:49 AM	#10
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,424	i've met a lot of good looking women. i get to know them first. if the personality isn't great, maybe just hooking up will happen. i can't have a chick with no personality for a gf though. __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

04-14-2007, 07:28 AM	#2
daveygravey Offline Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 423	I usually fall for who I fall for, looks don't really come into it. When I care about a girl, she becomes more physically attractive to me anyway. But I guess if I'm LOOKING for a girl, then I'm going to go on their looks at first. That said, I've spoken to girls who I thought were hot and within five seconds of them opening their mouth I realised they were not attractive at all!

04-14-2007, 07:41 AM	#3
Weeblie Offline Gold Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: land of eternal sunshine Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 954	I think everyone is going to pick the girl with the good personality. A good personality can make anyone gorgeous. I'd be more interested in finding out how much crap is a guy willng to put up with for a hot girl...

04-14-2007, 10:31 AM	#7
definitely_maybe Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Canada Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 393	My short answer is "yes."

04-14-2007, 11:05 AM	#8
laboheme Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 837	(Doing this as a girl looking at guys...) Yes, a guy who is average in looks but has a good personality will be more attractive to me than a good-looking one with a horrible personality. But that's only a comparison between the two; it does NOT necessarily mean that I will like the average-looking guy enough to actually consider pursuing anything with him.

04-14-2007, 11:33 AM	#9
ProtestTheHero Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 1,680	I might sound crude here, but there are very few girls that are not "doable." Not that I have low standards, but in today's society there is a lot you can do to improve your appearance if you feel that is a huge barrier. The most important thing you can do is be in relatively good shape. There isn't anything wrong with being attractive, but a relationship is no fun if that's the only thing your potential gf has. Whenever I meet women of similar interests, comedic tastes, and outlooks that are laid back and just easy to be around...it definitely is a way bigger turn on then anything anyone could try to come up with physically.