My Ex Abuser is Scared of ME!! :)

smoochie · 04-13-2007, 02:31 PM

Hey All,

My story is too long to post now but here is the short version. Dated almost 3 years, lived together. In the last six months of living together, he gave me a black eye, busted my mouth, split my vagina by ripping off my panties to force himself on me. Locked me in a closet and wouldn't let me out. He has called me every <removed by moderator> you can think of. Spit in my face twice, slapped me I don't know how many times, broke my telephones throughout the house, pulled my hair, pushed/slamed me up against walls, and pretty much all things in between.

I finally called the cops and he went on the run (he already was on probation for DV and had another case pending). So all in all he had three battery charges pending on him. He ran to Washington state and has lived there for the past two years. I went to see him twice after he begged that he had changed but didn't. June 2005 was it. I didn't hear from him again until April 2006. He called me three or four times a month asking to get together on my voice mail. I wouldn't pick up the phone to talk to him.

I finally talked to him in Sept. In Oct., he sent me a pic of himself to my phone along with 5 other women at the same time. I hadn't heard from him since then. (I told two of the girls numbers he had sent to me about him)

After this whole Don Imus thing came out I really started thinking about him. He really has no respect for women and was curious how he felt about it since all women are <removed by moderator> to him. I wanted to see if he related to most of the vile spoken of us (like I think he does) or did he just say like everyone else, it was wrong but no big deal. I called him and guess what? He was scared!!! He told me that I scared him when we talk because I can mess his life up, tried to get him fired??? and he was trying to live in peace!!! Can you believe that?

Him saying that made my day. He rushed me off the phone and I fell out my seat laughing. I have finally WON!! He should have been scared of me a long time ago. I tried to get him fired back in 2005. He is a woman beater and has zero respect for us. I REALLY wanted him to answer why does he hate us (women) so bad? I really wanted that answer. But I got a treat instead. For him to be scared of me means he knows dealing with me has negative consequences and that I would never let him get away with all the bad stuff he did. He knows I will never drop the charges. He knows I can always cause problems for him if I wanted to. And he knows I can have him picked up....2 years later.

I have moved on and am happy here I am. There is no one kicking my <removed by moderator> or calling me names in my life. I am no longer worried about who he is cheating on me with and where is he. I have peace. I get lonely sometimes but it is so much better than living with someone that really and truly hates you. (But swears its love)

I am not interested in any of that. I learned when we did talk those few times that he is still the same. Still a liar, still a woman beater, and still weak. That made me feel powerful. I don't know if anyone of you guys would agree but I love the fact he is scared of me. How would you guys feel if your ex abuser was scared to talk to you or hear your voice? I am pleasantly glad.

1guygirl · 04-13-2007, 02:44 PM

oh go girl... id love it!

i jus wanna see the ex one time when ive picked myself back up,looking good and confident and hes still an ugly goofy rat locked in his own misery...oh the justice of it all

yes you have won - like what justin timberlake sings 'what goes around goes all the way back around'

yeawutever · 04-13-2007, 02:48 PM

Glad to hear it, you're doing good.

HealingHandsWarmHeart · 04-13-2007, 02:59 PM

i'm really glad you got out of that!!!

...but why on earth did you contact him???

i know you were curious..but sweetie..ugh this guy is bad news.

(if i misread the events in your post i'm sorry!!!! )

Cyprian · 04-13-2007, 04:05 PM

Congratulations...this man should be dead or in jail though. He cannot be beneficial in any way to the world, he should simply not exist anymore...

smoochie · 04-13-2007, 04:11 PM

That's just the thing...there was nothing there. NOTHING! He is a complete loser (who happens to be scared of the very one he tried to control and darn near kill mentally). I have been single since I left him and am happy. I really have gotten my life where I want it to be and am so much stronger now than even before I was with him.

He can tell me how he systematically hurt this one girl. He PLANNED his entire process. He said he knew she wasn't what he wanted and he made her think he was really into her until she started crying over something he did and he dumped her...just like that. So I figured he would be the perfect person to ask. Since we are both Black, I wanted to hear his reaction to Imus. He sure as hell could't get mad...he say worse about his own mother.

He said something to the effect of "it was wrong" but nothing substantial. He rushed me off the phone so fast I didn't get a chance to real find out what I wanted to know. But got something better anyway. I know you guys think I am blowing this out of proportion. But I am so happy. He, the woman beater, is scared of me, the victim. Scared of how I can affect his life at any given time... He wanted control and power and guess who has it???!!! AND HE KNOWS IT!!!

strongerthanever · 04-14-2007, 08:37 PM

There's one for the good girls... heads up!

Eva:Gina · 04-15-2007, 09:24 PM

My abusive ex came onto me last time I saw him
and the other doesnt know, but I could get him fired so easily its ridiculous... seeing as I know he bought crack with company money...

smoochie · 04-15-2007, 11:06 PM

I feel like a complete idiot now. Here it is two years later and I still think about him and all the stuff I went through every day. I am not where i still need therapy anylonger but today I have been kicking myself for calling him.

At first I was extremely happy, and part of me still is. But now I feel like a fool. I am educated, make over 100k a year, a good mom and friend and yet HE had more sense than I did to know when to leave.

Meaning I took alot of physical and emotional abuse from him for a long time. I got even, he is on the run because I called the police, ran up his credit cards, and tried to get him fired two years ago. I won't restate my earlier post but two years removed and he has enough sense to stay as far away from me as possible but I didn't when he was torturing me. I stayed and took it. Why wasn't I strong enough to go after I realized this was not good for me? He ran and although it took me "getting even" again, he had enough fear to rush me off the phone and let me know he was scared.

I am still glad he doesn't look back on our life together and think he had a fool. At least I know he has some respect for my willingness to try and hurt him. He knows I am not the one to screw over anymore.

Why didn't I have that kind of self-respect or self-preservation? I feel like a fool now. He has gone on with his life as happy as a pig in slop and here I am posting on a support board for not having the same instincts. I still struggle with trust issues and am paranoid of getting into another real relationship. I am going to start online dating tomorrow just to pick up my spirits. I don't know if abusers can be happy but he sure seemed like it. Maybe I am just having a pity party but I really think I have to be the dumbest woman alive right now. I feel like I let him kick me in the gut one last time for the road. I did it to myself.

04-13-2007, 02:31 PM	#1
smoochie Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 105	My Ex Abuser is Scared of ME!! :) Hey All, My story is too long to post now but here is the short version. Dated almost 3 years, lived together. In the last six months of living together, he gave me a black eye, busted my mouth, split my vagina by ripping off my panties to force himself on me. Locked me in a closet and wouldn't let me out. He has called me every <removed by moderator> you can think of. Spit in my face twice, slapped me I don't know how many times, broke my telephones throughout the house, pulled my hair, pushed/slamed me up against walls, and pretty much all things in between. I finally called the cops and he went on the run (he already was on probation for DV and had another case pending). So all in all he had three battery charges pending on him. He ran to Washington state and has lived there for the past two years. I went to see him twice after he begged that he had changed but didn't. June 2005 was it. I didn't hear from him again until April 2006. He called me three or four times a month asking to get together on my voice mail. I wouldn't pick up the phone to talk to him. I finally talked to him in Sept. In Oct., he sent me a pic of himself to my phone along with 5 other women at the same time. I hadn't heard from him since then. (I told two of the girls numbers he had sent to me about him) After this whole Don Imus thing came out I really started thinking about him. He really has no respect for women and was curious how he felt about it since all women are <removed by moderator> to him. I wanted to see if he related to most of the vile spoken of us (like I think he does) or did he just say like everyone else, it was wrong but no big deal. I called him and guess what? He was scared!!! He told me that I scared him when we talk because I can mess his life up, tried to get him fired??? and he was trying to live in peace!!! Can you believe that? Him saying that made my day. He rushed me off the phone and I fell out my seat laughing. I have finally WON!! He should have been scared of me a long time ago. I tried to get him fired back in 2005. He is a woman beater and has zero respect for us. I REALLY wanted him to answer why does he hate us (women) so bad? I really wanted that answer. But I got a treat instead. For him to be scared of me means he knows dealing with me has negative consequences and that I would never let him get away with all the bad stuff he did. He knows I will never drop the charges. He knows I can always cause problems for him if I wanted to. And he knows I can have him picked up....2 years later. I have moved on and am happy here I am. There is no one kicking my <removed by moderator> or calling me names in my life. I am no longer worried about who he is cheating on me with and where is he. I have peace. I get lonely sometimes but it is so much better than living with someone that really and truly hates you. (But swears its love) I am not interested in any of that. I learned when we did talk those few times that he is still the same. Still a liar, still a woman beater, and still weak. That made me feel powerful. I don't know if anyone of you guys would agree but I love the fact he is scared of me. How would you guys feel if your ex abuser was scared to talk to you or hear your voice? I am pleasantly glad. Last edited by BellaDonna; 04-13-2007 at 02:37 PM. Reason: inappropriate language- please see forum rules

04-13-2007, 02:44 PM	#2
1guygirl Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: "Heartbeat" country, UK Gender: Female Age: 33 Posts: 355	oh go girl... id love it! i jus wanna see the ex one time when ive picked myself back up,looking good and confident and hes still an ugly goofy rat locked in his own misery...oh the justice of it all yes you have won - like what justin timberlake sings 'what goes around goes all the way back around' __________________ www.ahimsacosmetics.co.uk

04-13-2007, 02:48 PM	#3
yeawutever Online Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: None Specified Age: 22 Posts: 5,671	Glad to hear it, you're doing good. __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!! Still in a LDR with boyfriend.

04-13-2007, 02:59 PM	#4
HealingHandsWarmHeart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,605	i'm really glad you got out of that!!! ...but why on earth did you contact him??? i know you were curious..but sweetie..ugh this guy is bad news. (if i misread the events in your post i'm sorry!!!! ) __________________ “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~ Ghandi

04-13-2007, 04:05 PM	#5
Cyprian Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 352	Congratulations...this man should be dead or in jail though. He cannot be beneficial in any way to the world, he should simply not exist anymore... __________________ "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but rather the one most responsive to change." - Darwin "Study the science of art and the art of science." - da Vinci "Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers." - Voltaire

04-13-2007, 04:11 PM	#6
smoochie Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 105	That's just the thing...there was nothing there. NOTHING! He is a complete loser (who happens to be scared of the very one he tried to control and darn near kill mentally). I have been single since I left him and am happy. I really have gotten my life where I want it to be and am so much stronger now than even before I was with him. He can tell me how he systematically hurt this one girl. He PLANNED his entire process. He said he knew she wasn't what he wanted and he made her think he was really into her until she started crying over something he did and he dumped her...just like that. So I figured he would be the perfect person to ask. Since we are both Black, I wanted to hear his reaction to Imus. He sure as hell could't get mad...he say worse about his own mother. He said something to the effect of "it was wrong" but nothing substantial. He rushed me off the phone so fast I didn't get a chance to real find out what I wanted to know. But got something better anyway. I know you guys think I am blowing this out of proportion. But I am so happy. He, the woman beater, is scared of me, the victim. Scared of how I can affect his life at any given time... He wanted control and power and guess who has it???!!! AND HE KNOWS IT!!!

04-14-2007, 08:37 PM	#7
strongerthanever Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: in transit somewhere in the south Gender: Female Posts: 112	There's one for the good girls... heads up!

04-15-2007, 09:24 PM	#8
Eva:Gina Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Aotearoa Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 3,473	My abusive ex came onto me last time I saw him and the other doesnt know, but I could get him fired so easily its ridiculous... seeing as I know he bought crack with company money... __________________ Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

04-15-2007, 11:06 PM	#9
smoochie Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 105	I feel like a complete idiot now. Here it is two years later and I still think about him and all the stuff I went through every day. I am not where i still need therapy anylonger but today I have been kicking myself for calling him. At first I was extremely happy, and part of me still is. But now I feel like a fool. I am educated, make over 100k a year, a good mom and friend and yet HE had more sense than I did to know when to leave. Meaning I took alot of physical and emotional abuse from him for a long time. I got even, he is on the run because I called the police, ran up his credit cards, and tried to get him fired two years ago. I won't restate my earlier post but two years removed and he has enough sense to stay as far away from me as possible but I didn't when he was torturing me. I stayed and took it. Why wasn't I strong enough to go after I realized this was not good for me? He ran and although it took me "getting even" again, he had enough fear to rush me off the phone and let me know he was scared. I am still glad he doesn't look back on our life together and think he had a fool. At least I know he has some respect for my willingness to try and hurt him. He knows I am not the one to screw over anymore. Why didn't I have that kind of self-respect or self-preservation? I feel like a fool now. He has gone on with his life as happy as a pig in slop and here I am posting on a support board for not having the same instincts. I still struggle with trust issues and am paranoid of getting into another real relationship. I am going to start online dating tomorrow just to pick up my spirits. I don't know if abusers can be happy but he sure seemed like it. Maybe I am just having a pity party but I really think I have to be the dumbest woman alive right now. I feel like I let him kick me in the gut one last time for the road. I did it to myself.