Abusive Relationship...I Really need help

MissLaura · 04-11-2007, 02:09 AM

Tonight me and the boyfriend had a huge argument, honestly I don't even know how it started. But that is how all of the fights starts. We live with each other so it is so hard to have time by myself, I work and go to school full time and all I wanna do is come home and rest. But instead I have to put up with him. We have a dog, and he knows how much i love her. So every time he gets mad at me he hits her. I cried so hard today and I am even crying as I am typing right now. Today hit her and i started to yell at him to leave her alone, so I hit him back and thats when he slapped him, and grabed me and threw me on the floor. The funny thing is my brother is a police officer, I don't know why I don't call him for help, I guess because I know that he will kick my boyfriend's *** if he found out what happen, another reason i don't want my family to get involved is because my family likes him. I mean he is a really good guy, oh and did I mention he is a police officer recurit. So somebody please help, I just need some good advice, I mean I can be abusive too sometimes, I honestly think that I made my boyfriend this way. I'm the one who always gets mad real easily, sometimes I even hit him. He only has hit me a few times but its after the fact that I hit him. I know I need help too. Maybe more than him. But I just don't know what to do. So please just anykind of advise would help....

Cassie · 04-11-2007, 02:19 AM

Laura, do you have a safe place for you and your little girl dog to go right now? I'd get out of that violent environment immediately. You both are abusing each other and it will only keep escalating.

Why are you being physical and resorting to hitting your boyfriend? And even if your boyfriend has 'only hit you a few times', that's a few times too many.

Rachelle · 04-11-2007, 02:40 AM

That guy shouldn't be a police recruit, he should be jailbait. I agree with the above advice. Get out! He's not a good guy...not at all. If any guy I was with ever raised a hand to me or a pet that'd the end of the relationship. Peroid. There are other, truely good guys out there that would be appauled at what this guy is putting you through. Find yourself a nice guy and kick this guy to the curb!

Eva:Gina · 04-11-2007, 02:47 AM

Ok, I am going to write something that sounds ultra harsh

Put yourself into whatever situation you want, you are legally an adult, you are both abusive and violent, you both choose to stay in that relationship, for whatever reasons, you must be getting some pay-off for it... but how DARE you put an animal in a situation where its getting beaten just to get a reaction from you?!!?

Rachelle · 04-11-2007, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eva:Gina

Ok, I am going to write something that sounds ultra harsh

Put yourself into whatever situation you want, you are legally an adult, you are both abusive and violent, you both choose to stay in that relationship, for whatever reasons, you must be getting some pay-off for it... but how DARE you put an animal in a situation where its getting beaten just to get a reaction from you?!!?

I don't quite understand...this girl isn't abusing the animal
I don't think she's going along with the abuse either by the sounds of it
and what about the child? children are even more important than animals aren't they? (don't get me wrong-i love animals and have a dog and would kick a guy where the sun doesn't shine...with a pair of steel-toed boots if he tried to hurt my dog)

Suesser Tod · 04-11-2007, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissLaura

Tonight me and the boyfriend had a huge argument, honestly I don't even know how it started. But that is how all of the fights starts. We live with each other so it is so hard to have time by myself, I work and go to school full time and all I wanna do is come home and rest. But instead I have to put up with him. We have a dog, and he knows how much i love her. So every time he gets mad at me he hits her. I cried so hard today and I am even crying as I am typing right now. Today hit her (the dog) and i started to yell at him to leave her alone, so I hit him back and thats when he slapped him, and grabed me and threw me on the floor. The funny thing is my brother is a police officer, I don't know why I don't call him for help, I guess because I know that he will kick my boyfriend's *** if he found out what happen, another reason i don't want my family to get involved is because my family likes him. I mean he is a really good guy, oh and did I mention he is a police officer recurit. So somebody please help, I just need some good advice, I mean I can be abusive too sometimes, I honestly think that I made my boyfriend this way. I'm the one who always gets mad real easily, sometimes I even hit him. He only has hit me a few times but its after the fact that I hit him. I know I need help too. Maybe more than him. But I just don't know what to do. So please just anykind of advise would help....

That is assault you know?

So its an abusive relationship...

Seems to have been going on for a while...

Have you tried couples counceling?

Suesser Tod · 04-11-2007, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachelle

I don't quite understand...this girl isn't abusing the animal
I don't think she's going along with the abuse either by the sounds of it
and what about the child? children are even more important than animals aren't they? (don't get me wrong-i love animals and have a dog and would kick a guy where the sun doesn't shine...with a pair of steel-toed boots if he tried to hurt my dog)

She is stuck in an abusive relationship, and the dog is taking the abuse. She knows it and I'll quote her:

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissLaura

We have a dog, and he knows how much i love her. So every time he gets mad at me he hits her.

They don't have children, but if she allows that situation to continue, and to quote her, "she loves the dog", then its quite likely she wouldn't do anyting to prevent their children from being abused.

Basically, by getting herself stuck in an abusive relationship, she is dragging the dog, and in the future, her children, with her into it.

sophie274 · 04-11-2007, 03:13 AM

Hi MissLaura

First off, hugs. I am really sorry you are finding yourself in this situation, and it's clear from this post that it is horrible.

It's clear that you are both being abusive too each other. However, there is still no excuse for him slapping you, throwing you on the floor, and the way he is treating your dog to get at you! What I mean is: two wrongs don't make a right. His behavior does not square with your observation that he is a great guy.

I suggest you remove yourself from this situation before it gets worse and take your dog with you. It's clear things are not working out right now and I think it would be a mistake to try to stay and work on issues while you are both being abusive to each other. Why don't you call your brother and ask him to come get you? Would that be a possibility?

musicguy · 04-11-2007, 03:26 AM

Leave him, grab the dog and go. No woman should EVER been hit, not even once

Siriana · 04-11-2007, 06:14 AM

Excuse me but you let him beat your dog?
Would you let him beat your child too?
Even if you can live like that (you shouldn't btw), you need to be responsible enough not to put your dog trough such pain and once in the future your kid.

04-11-2007, 02:09 AM	#1
MissLaura Offline Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Dallas Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 1	Abusive Relationship...I Really need help Tonight me and the boyfriend had a huge argument, honestly I don't even know how it started. But that is how all of the fights starts. We live with each other so it is so hard to have time by myself, I work and go to school full time and all I wanna do is come home and rest. But instead I have to put up with him. We have a dog, and he knows how much i love her. So every time he gets mad at me he hits her. I cried so hard today and I am even crying as I am typing right now. Today hit her and i started to yell at him to leave her alone, so I hit him back and thats when he slapped him, and grabed me and threw me on the floor. The funny thing is my brother is a police officer, I don't know why I don't call him for help, I guess because I know that he will kick my boyfriend's *** if he found out what happen, another reason i don't want my family to get involved is because my family likes him. I mean he is a really good guy, oh and did I mention he is a police officer recurit. So somebody please help, I just need some good advice, I mean I can be abusive too sometimes, I honestly think that I made my boyfriend this way. I'm the one who always gets mad real easily, sometimes I even hit him. He only has hit me a few times but its after the fact that I hit him. I know I need help too. Maybe more than him. But I just don't know what to do. So please just anykind of advise would help.... __________________ Lil Miss Laura!

04-11-2007, 02:19 AM	#2
Cassie Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 610	Laura, do you have a safe place for you and your little girl dog to go right now? I'd get out of that violent environment immediately. You both are abusing each other and it will only keep escalating. Why are you being physical and resorting to hitting your boyfriend? And even if your boyfriend has 'only hit you a few times', that's a few times too many. __________________ If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere.

04-11-2007, 02:40 AM	#3
Rachelle Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Calgary Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 205	That guy shouldn't be a police recruit, he should be jailbait. I agree with the above advice. Get out! He's not a good guy...not at all. If any guy I was with ever raised a hand to me or a pet that'd the end of the relationship. Peroid. There are other, truely good guys out there that would be appauled at what this guy is putting you through. Find yourself a nice guy and kick this guy to the curb! __________________ Enjoy your life: You can't get time back, and you don't have much of it.

04-11-2007, 02:47 AM	#4
Eva:Gina Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Aotearoa Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 3,473	Ok, I am going to write something that sounds ultra harsh Put yourself into whatever situation you want, you are legally an adult, you are both abusive and violent, you both choose to stay in that relationship, for whatever reasons, you must be getting some pay-off for it... but how DARE you put an animal in a situation where its getting beaten just to get a reaction from you?!!? __________________ Dont let the self-rightous dictate your own mind to you...

04-11-2007, 03:13 AM	#8
sophie274 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,062	Hi MissLaura First off, hugs. I am really sorry you are finding yourself in this situation, and it's clear from this post that it is horrible. It's clear that you are both being abusive too each other. However, there is still no excuse for him slapping you, throwing you on the floor, and the way he is treating your dog to get at you! What I mean is: two wrongs don't make a right. His behavior does not square with your observation that he is a great guy. I suggest you remove yourself from this situation before it gets worse and take your dog with you. It's clear things are not working out right now and I think it would be a mistake to try to stay and work on issues while you are both being abusive to each other. Why don't you call your brother and ask him to come get you? Would that be a possibility? Last edited by sophie274; 04-11-2007 at 03:17 AM.

04-11-2007, 03:26 AM	#9
musicguy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tattoo Land Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 3,751	Leave him, grab the dog and go. No woman should EVER been hit, not even once

04-11-2007, 06:14 AM	#10
Siriana Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 3,768	Excuse me but you let him beat your dog? Would you let him beat your child too? Even if you can live like that (you shouldn't btw), you need to be responsible enough not to put your dog trough such pain and once in the future your kid. __________________ Quid pro quo "Don't have any children or get married until you can support and love yourself first."