Witnessed the Aftermath of a Shooting

finewhine · 04-07-2007, 10:15 PM

I am home alone on a Saturday night for a horrible reason: as I walked out of my friend's apartment this afternoon, I saw a man who had been shot a moment before in a drive-by shooting. He was lying on the ground, writhing in agony. There was surprisinly little visible blood. I saw the driver tear down the street; I saw the plainclothes police officer who had been surveiling the house (it is a gang house) check the property with a shiny, large gun. My car was shot underneath the driver's side door. The car across the street had most of its windows shot out and two bullet holes in the side.

I can't get the image of this man's agonized face out of my head.

The way I reacted is troubling to me. I had gone over to my friend's apartment in order to sign a lease. I will not move there now, but in the immediate aftermath of the shooting, I simply walked back up to her apartment, calmly rang the bell, and explained what had happened. I dismissed what had happened - it was gang-on-gang violence, so it was at a remove from us. It wasn't until I walked out again twenty minutes later and saw the bullet hole in my car that I realized what had happened, that a man had been horribly injured and had a very good chance of dying.

Every day, hundreds of people die violent, horrible deaths. It never hit home before. I am a middle-class young woman from a safe suburb. Since I live in a big city, I hear stories of violence every day. Drive-by shootings, gangs, etc. I never before internalized that these were actual people, if that makes any sense. They are living, breathing human beings with families and houses.

What must it be like to live in a violent neighborhood? My friend lives in a rapidly gentrifying area that's still spotty in parts (neither of us realized how spotty). I've lived in similar neighborhoods for much of my adult life. All of my friends do. We think we're hip and urban and edgy, but what happens when we see someone die? It feels so exploitative of us to infringe on real human misery for cheap rent.

The answer is not the lilly white suburbs. I like diversity. I like living near my friends. The answer is not living on that block, either, though. Or even in that neighborhood.

When there is a crime scene, they put little yellow tents where the bullet casings fall.

There is a bullet hole in the side of my Honda.

There is a man in the hospital tonight who was shot eight times in front of his house.

I really, really don't feel like going out and having fun.

finewhine · 04-07-2007, 11:02 PM

Thanks for your kind words. My stomach hurts. I just had a piece of pie and think I'm going to sleep soon. How can I enjoy a slice of pie when people are lying in the hospital with bullet wounds? When people in Baghdad witness these atrocities every single day? I heard a radio story - a British relief worker was walking down the street in Baghdad and she saw a man's head blown off. People there are used to it. Senseless, senseless.

Aleadragonhawk · 04-10-2007, 09:23 PM

Don't blame yourself for not reacting immediately. It's easy to be shocked by a situation like this - and honestly, we're inured to it by now, thanks to media.

thedude01 · 04-11-2007, 04:54 PM

Wow...

I don't see how you couldn't be feeling how you're feeling. You'd think that it's pretty easy to keep a distance from incidents like that, but LIFE IS RANDOM. That will no doubt hold a folder in your head forever, just try find a positive reason for opening it. Every once and a while life does things to say "hey, don't dial this in... there's no autopilot, dip****." The degree which those hints hit, differs... witnessing a shooting, somewhere you weren't expecting is extreme.

I've gotten myself in a lot of trouble for saying this, but the motives behind it, I assure you are sweet. "Life is fair." I've been told, that I'm a jerk because, how can I speak for impoverished people, or anyone in third world nations... etc. etc.

To an extent I agree... but my reply is this... You can't begin to understand the hardships of anyone, other than yourself... Trying is sure to keep you sad. some privileged people may never feel the joy of a day they can go to sleep with a full belly. It's all relative, our job is to live life the best we can, and when it's time to leave this world we leave it a little better than when we came in.

It sounds blunt, but it'll all work out. Have another cup of hot chocolate.

Beyondthesea · 04-11-2007, 11:30 PM

I'm so sorry this happened to you darling. Experiences like these shake people to the core, because our sense of stability goes out the window.

If you do find you are really questioning, go and speak to a counselor. I know that sounds cheesy, but the truth is, it's easier to sort things out now before it becomes a 'tangled web we weave.'

finewhine · 04-12-2007, 12:24 AM

Hey, Beyond the Sea - if you're still reading this? Do you have experience in this sort of thing? Because my uncle, who's a vet, told me that I could develop PTSD in a week or two. Is this true?

04-07-2007, 10:15 PM	#1
finewhine Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 659	Witnessed the Aftermath of a Shooting I am home alone on a Saturday night for a horrible reason: as I walked out of my friend's apartment this afternoon, I saw a man who had been shot a moment before in a drive-by shooting. He was lying on the ground, writhing in agony. There was surprisinly little visible blood. I saw the driver tear down the street; I saw the plainclothes police officer who had been surveiling the house (it is a gang house) check the property with a shiny, large gun. My car was shot underneath the driver's side door. The car across the street had most of its windows shot out and two bullet holes in the side. I can't get the image of this man's agonized face out of my head. The way I reacted is troubling to me. I had gone over to my friend's apartment in order to sign a lease. I will not move there now, but in the immediate aftermath of the shooting, I simply walked back up to her apartment, calmly rang the bell, and explained what had happened. I dismissed what had happened - it was gang-on-gang violence, so it was at a remove from us. It wasn't until I walked out again twenty minutes later and saw the bullet hole in my car that I realized what had happened, that a man had been horribly injured and had a very good chance of dying. Every day, hundreds of people die violent, horrible deaths. It never hit home before. I am a middle-class young woman from a safe suburb. Since I live in a big city, I hear stories of violence every day. Drive-by shootings, gangs, etc. I never before internalized that these were actual people, if that makes any sense. They are living, breathing human beings with families and houses. What must it be like to live in a violent neighborhood? My friend lives in a rapidly gentrifying area that's still spotty in parts (neither of us realized how spotty). I've lived in similar neighborhoods for much of my adult life. All of my friends do. We think we're hip and urban and edgy, but what happens when we see someone die? It feels so exploitative of us to infringe on real human misery for cheap rent. The answer is not the lilly white suburbs. I like diversity. I like living near my friends. The answer is not living on that block, either, though. Or even in that neighborhood. When there is a crime scene, they put little yellow tents where the bullet casings fall. There is a bullet hole in the side of my Honda. There is a man in the hospital tonight who was shot eight times in front of his house. I really, really don't feel like going out and having fun. Last edited by finewhine; 04-07-2007 at 10:58 PM. Reason: spelling error

04-11-2007, 11:30 PM	#5
Beyondthesea Offline Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: where the streets have no name Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 1,606	I'm so sorry this happened to you darling. Experiences like these shake people to the core, because our sense of stability goes out the window. If you do find you are really questioning, go and speak to a counselor. I know that sounds cheesy, but the truth is, it's easier to sort things out now before it becomes a 'tangled web we weave.' __________________ _____________________________ Dreams are renewable, whether you're five or 105, you have a lifetime ahead of you. ~Rev. Dale Turner It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise. ~Nancy Thayer Every day you sit back and wait for something to happen is another day lost. ~Jennifer Flavin

04-07-2007, 11:02 PM	#2
finewhine Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 659	Thanks for your kind words. My stomach hurts. I just had a piece of pie and think I'm going to sleep soon. How can I enjoy a slice of pie when people are lying in the hospital with bullet wounds? When people in Baghdad witness these atrocities every single day? I heard a radio story - a British relief worker was walking down the street in Baghdad and she saw a man's head blown off. People there are used to it. Senseless, senseless.

04-10-2007, 09:23 PM	#3
Aleadragonhawk Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,424	Don't blame yourself for not reacting immediately. It's easy to be shocked by a situation like this - and honestly, we're inured to it by now, thanks to media.

04-11-2007, 04:54 PM	#4
thedude01 Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 9	Wow... I don't see how you couldn't be feeling how you're feeling. You'd think that it's pretty easy to keep a distance from incidents like that, but LIFE IS RANDOM. That will no doubt hold a folder in your head forever, just try find a positive reason for opening it. Every once and a while life does things to say "hey, don't dial this in... there's no autopilot, dip****." The degree which those hints hit, differs... witnessing a shooting, somewhere you weren't expecting is extreme. I've gotten myself in a lot of trouble for saying this, but the motives behind it, I assure you are sweet. "Life is fair." I've been told, that I'm a jerk because, how can I speak for impoverished people, or anyone in third world nations... etc. etc. To an extent I agree... but my reply is this... You can't begin to understand the hardships of anyone, other than yourself... Trying is sure to keep you sad. some privileged people may never feel the joy of a day they can go to sleep with a full belly. It's all relative, our job is to live life the best we can, and when it's time to leave this world we leave it a little better than when we came in. It sounds blunt, but it'll all work out. Have another cup of hot chocolate.

04-12-2007, 12:24 AM	#6
finewhine Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 659	Hey, Beyond the Sea - if you're still reading this? Do you have experience in this sort of thing? Because my uncle, who's a vet, told me that I could develop PTSD in a week or two. Is this true?